How do I move on?

Question

Hi guys,
My husband and I have been together five years and its been an extreamily hard five years, he wants to stay out all night-party and do his own thing then come home to his family when he's done, he dosen't support any of my dreams and we don't really even talk and we don't have anything in common anymore, I'm pretty unhappy- However we have 3 children and it's hard for me to end the relationship and keep it that way, I kick him out and when he starts acting nice I let him back in. I just want him to love me more than he loves the streets and I know that will never happen so please tell me how do i start '07 right and do this with out him - permenantly this time?

Answer 1

You can't make someone love you! Your hubby sounds like he has higher priorities than you and the kids! You need to dump him and move on!! Your kids are witnessing this and will learn that it is okay to put family last and it's not!!! Do not use your kids as an excuse to stay together...it's not fair to them or to you!!! You have given your hubby several chances to redeem himself and he has failed...so start 2007 right...move on and divorce him!!! Give yourself a chance at life and show your kids that you are going to make their future better by trying to make a change!!!

Answer 2

Hi girl,
Sounds like a tough 5 years. More than you should have put up with. sometimes we feel trapped, afraid to leave a bad situation to go to an unknown one!
You have already been taking care of the family, so you know that you can handle it. Do you have friends and family to support you?
If so, call on them, you would help them!
Without dreams and goals we would be monkeys. You have the right ideas, move forward!
Don't let him keep coming back into your life. Tell him that he needs to change or you will not be a part of his life, stand by that, don't give in.
You need to take control, for yourself and your children. Start out 2007 with your goal to live a better life and provide a stable life for your children. Be tough! You will find love again!
Best wishes for 2007!

Answer 3

Aw I feel for you. I know how you feel though. Go see a lawyer and paperwork can make it seem more real. A legan separation then divorce. Put your foot down and know he will never change. I think you know it in your head but not in your heart. You gave him chances but he blew them all. Try to put your children first and realize they will be much better off in a more stable environment. Get support from family, friends, etc. Take it one day at a time. Always remember the way he made you feel and use that when you think of when he is sweet. Try to realize that he is acting and that he is what he is, no prince charming. I know it's hard, believe me, but do what's best for your 3 little ones.

Answer 4

You told us what you were doing wrong.Yes breaking up is hard to do there can be massive feelings left over .This is a desire to have things be good again;but you know they won't with him.You have to want things to be good with someone else.Say good bye and never go back on this decision not even once .There is no how other than don't do it.He starts acting nice ? Don't believe it .How nice is he really being wasting your time and your kids time when you could be happy with someone else? What advice would you give a friend in your situation? Hope 07 is better for you!

Answer 5

You need try first. Talking to him about the seriousness of this is a must. If you put forth effort to make the relationship work and he puts forth no effort, then there isn't much more you can do. Since you have children, it would be in their best interest if you did not break up until after the kids grow up and go off to college.

Answer 6

First of all, do something positive for yourself. You have to gain and maintain your self-confidence at the same time. Remember when your heart hurts that there is a better life for you, that your kids need you to be happy and and to see you as a success. Its okay to struggle, its hard to let go sometimes. Make 2007 the year you prove it to yourself that you are a fighter! Good Luck..

Answer 7

I am so sorry to hear that you deserve better, I can speak from some experience on being used as a doormat! It does not feel good the 3rd 4th 5th time etc... Find a good attorney I guess if you can't afford them there are many many womens groups that'll help you out... My mom used them years ago... Good luck & God Bless

Answer 8

I'm sad to say..you sound like you don't want to leave....and he sounds like he choose the street over your family....well you have to take care of what is important....its not what you want any more.. ....It's your Family...You need to take care of them...it looks to me like the other half of the family does not care to be complete so you must look for someone who will be a father and choose you guys over himself...it looks to me like he is too selfish to give that up....Grow up Momma, and take care of your babies...daddy ain't coming home....
here you go have fun...maybe you will find some kind of friend or comfort http://www.stickam.com/

Answer 9

I feel your pain girl but I can say this. Don't push him to change. They have to want to. My Husband is the same way and i love him through and through. I pray that he will see the error of his way and I hope that my stepping down on caring what he does with other helps our situatution. I will pray for you as I pray for mine. Keep your head up.

Answer 10

Think of what your kids are going threw...you need to kick him out for good..and get stronger, you don't deserve this from no man, he is not there for you..go to church and get help from someone that can guide you to a better life...join a bible study, and I will pray for you...remember always think of your kids first..