recently my boyfriend has been leaving the room to take phone calls!hes working later and is never were he says he is going to be!should i ask him if he is hving an affair ,but if he says no then he wil think i have been checking up on him and i will lose his trust.but then if i forget about it and he realy is having an affair?
2006-12-31 18:54:39 · 22 answers · asked by louise b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just dump him. If he's leaving all the time and never home, that should tell you something. He doesn't want to be around you.
2006-12-31 19:04:34 · answer #1 · answered by Sax M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everything your b/f does is typical if someone you is having an affair or at least hiding something from you.
Relationships should be founded on trust as you say, but that works both ways.
You have every reason and every right to question him on his recent behavior, never mind about losing his trust, your losing your trust in him aren't you.
Tackle him, if he has nothing to hide then he will tell you why he has been acting out of charactor, if he doesn't give you a reason that's believable,knowing him the way you should, you will know he is hiding something.
Then it's up to you, but women have an inbiult gut feeling when things are not right, be guided by it.
2007-01-04 18:34:24 · answer #2 · answered by animalwatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These might be the classic sypmtoms of an affair or may be perfectly innocent. What does your gut feeling say?
Our subconscious picks up on a lot of things we aren't consciously aware of, but if you think about it... is he as affectionate as usual? Has he lost interest in sex with you? has he showered before coming home or when he gets home? is he more cagey about leaving his phone on the table when usually he would? Bear in mind the first two may also be due to stress or depression.
If you feel there's something wrong in the relationship, say so and ask if he feels there is as well. Stay calm, don't get upset or angry (which is hard, but would make him defensive).Tell him its important for you to be able to trust each other, but can't if he lies about where he is, as it gives out the wrong signals. And you could try asking him about his work, offer support if works getting on top of him.
Think about what you want to do if he is having an affair, do you want to try and save the relationship or will you never be able to trust him again? If you do try to save it, make sure he knows it can never happen again.
Good luck with it.
2006-12-31 22:34:33 · answer #3 · answered by tigger 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can beleive someone would suggest you leave him without knowing the facts!
A relationship has got to be built on trust so you shouldnt do anything that says you dont trust him. What you should do is sit him down and ask him to look at it from your perspective and show him how it looks from where your standing. Dont go accusing him of anything just calmly say you feel uncomfortable the way things are and can he tell you what is going on and be more considerate.
Obviously if he turns out he is having an affair then you can take positive action.
2006-12-31 18:59:11 · answer #4 · answered by rodandalisonthompson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you confront him and he says no, he could be lying. I feel bad for your situation, this has to suck for you. Honestly i think you should just have an open talk with him... you really have nothing to lose because you already doubt him so if you can tell him how you feel then maybe you can rebuild trust if he isn't cheating. Everyone gets insecure once in a while so instead of going crazy with worry just have a talk with him, tell him how you feel like "Honey I don't know what to say but I just have this bad feeling lately, maybe it's just my imagination but I feel like we're less close and I've been reading stuff into you working late, taking calls in other room... I want to talk about this..." something like that.
Like trust is lost with no trust no relationship... you have nothing to lose by talking to him, you can't carry on this way it's no way to live. If he is having an affair he may not admit it but you can look for clues like he gets angry and very defensive, refuses to listen to you, etc. If he isn't cheating his reaction will most likely be that of surprise and he'll want to comfort and reassure you. Even tell him "if you're cheating it's not worth it, we shouldn't be together" etc (maybe don't phrase it exactly like that)... basically just tell him you want honesty. Good luck
2006-12-31 19:01:16 · answer #5 · answered by Principessa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really don't know how you can really be sure but see if you can put a video camera hidden somewhere any where he goes to take a phone call and when he leaves to go some get the video camera and watch the video and see what he was talking about that is the only good thing i could think of but if this is not good i am sorry i couldn't help you.
2006-12-31 19:02:54 · answer #6 · answered by Erin S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your inner voice that is screaming at you something is wrong! You have every right to feel distrustful of the situation his actions are not only secretive but clearly indicate that something is a miss here.
I think that the only way to proceed is to talk to him and give him the opportunity to come clean about whatever is going on, explain how his actions are effecting you and how you would like things to change.
2006-12-31 20:02:11 · answer #7 · answered by jumpin_jelly_cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use him to teach yourself about relationships. Until you can trust, learn to ask questions, communicate, and so on you can't have a wonderful relationship. Meaning, there are no obstacles in a relationship, if you are facing one than you have not yet taught yourself how to be in one. So ask away and whatever happens will only teach you what to do in this or the next one. If he says no than he should be happy and proud to be able to say no to you.
If you can't talk to him about your concerns or feelings, despite what the truth holds than you are not living a real and strong relationship.
As I tell my other and remind her daily.........I love you and if you ever ever doubt that or have concerns please ask me. My answers will always be no to bad thoughts and yes to good. But ask me anytime you want.
2007-01-04 01:31:50 · answer #8 · answered by NoAnswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really do need to have a serious talk with him. You do not deserved to be cheated on if indeed this is the case.
There could be a logical explanation, but you have a right to know.
Good Luck, HAPPY NEW YEAR
2006-12-31 18:59:17 · answer #9 · answered by richard_beckham2001 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not bad to doubt. ask Him. but do you know you dont know what to do if he is realy having an affair. am always scared of finding out since we women are never prepared on what to do. am very sorry. i know your pain
2007-01-04 18:54:04 · answer #10 · answered by Betsy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋