a husband question...?

Question

Ok, my issue is that my husband left my two daughters and I at my parents house to go home(he had to work). We both agreed he would do this since we will be moving overseas soon. We would be staying at my moms house an extra week, then he would come get us. But when he got home he found out that he didn't have to work afterall. I am pretty upset that he choose to stay there instead of coming back here to be with me. It is only a seven hour drive and I figure he had nothing better to do. It also really upsets me because this makes the third year in a row we have been apart for New Years. My question is if anyone thinks this is as messed up as I do?? And why would he not want to spend the New Year with me??

Answer 1

I am sorry he made you feel bad. Only he knows what is going on, perhaps it is nothing at all. I think you ought to give him the benefit of the doubt unless he gives you other reasons to suspect something.

God Bless.

Answer 2

Maybe he doesn't like being around your family. Or maybe he wanted to spend some time alone. Driving home and then back is 14 hours that's along time to be driving in any day. He may have been tired.

Would you rather he had tried to do that much driving and perhaps had an accident. It's not like it was christmas.

I think you are selfish. Just because you don't think he had something better to do doesn't mean he didn't think that way.

Maybe he's tired of going to your parents every year for New Years. I know i wouldn't like it.

Answer 3

Ok, something is not right....
If I were you, I wouldve gone back myself. Now, I must point out, you said "It is only a seven hour drive and I figure he had nothing better to do." You are assuming, or thinking he can read your mind in some sort of way ("i figure")
You should have told him how you felt. People need to start being straight up and honest with eachother. If you are upset, you need to tell him, but you should have said something right away instead of sitting on the issue-and when you "sit" on something, what happens? it gets warmer...basically, you being upset will just manifest into more intense feelings.

Since the new year is over, maybe you should consider doing some research. Check phone bills, bank records, credit card records, to see his activity for this week he had to himself.
There is a possiblity he knew he didnt have to work, but pretended he did. Depending on his job, maybe you should call some bosses of his..asking "why did hubby get such an extended time off?" Usually, a week off is something requested....so do some research in his work. Be careful though, if word gets back to hubby, he can get mad.. (which is a sign of him hiding something possibly) but you can recover by saying "oh hunny, i just thought it was cool of your boss to give you this time off, i felt like telling him how thankful i am." And, act thankful to this boss or whoever scheduales his work if you make such calls...

Planned or unplanned, there are lots of reasons to hubbys chice. And, us females do tend to think deaper than a guy does, therefore he just didnt "think" to get his family....maybe he likes to spend new years alone (which is something he should tell you if this is a need of his)...maybe he likes to "party" without you and the kids involved, which sucks because he isnt relizing the possiblity of how it makes you and the kids feel.....and of course the possibility of him having a fling for the week.

Now, he can always come back on you if you didnt make your feelings known right away. Lets say he goes out to party new years, you get mad, tell him why he didnt come be with you , he can always say "well you never told me to".
You really need to tell him how you feel, and what you want instead of assuming he will "think". Guys are not mind readers or thinkers. They typically think of right now, not what if what if or this with that....

Since this is becoming habitual for him to do on new years, bring that to his attention. tell him you want to be with him, not alone.

And again, do some investigating on bank records including cash withdrawls, credit card records and phone bills for suspicious activity.

Answer 4

It's only a seven hour drive? well firstly there are drunks driving around. Would you rather see him the next day or not see him at all because of some drunk driver crashed into him and killed him? Second, it is just another day. It is nothing special, look foward to the next big thing either a birthday or Valentines day.

Answer 5

You might be reading into it a bit too much. Seven hours isn't exactly a short drive. I don't blame him for driving seven hours and not wanting to drive back seven hours again. It probably is more that he was tired and wanted to relax than the fact that he didn't want to be with you.

Answer 6

Seven hours is a long drive. I know too that sometimes we all just want to chill out a bit and maybe after a long drive your husband felt like that too.

Answer 7

7 hrs thats a long ride back. I don't think I would want to turn right back around and make that drive. He must have been tired because driving wears anyone out.

Answer 8

That's how they do **** sometime. I thiink it is messed up but how long had he been home seven hours is a long time to be on the road.

Answer 9

I feel your pain, but honestly - with just the information that you provided, how can we POSSIBLY give you an intelligent answer to that question? I think you wanted to vent more than anything, and that's cool...

Answer 10

I personally think New Year's is overrated, but that's just my opinion. I would just ask him. Men aren't confusing. Be straight forward w/him.