Do you worry about your children becoming materially spoiled?

Question

I'm not sure how to handle my in-laws right now. I believe perhaps without realizing it consciously, they are substituting material things for a relationship with my children. After the divorce, I had to relocate with my children to provide for us, so their grandparents are no longer able to see them on a weekly basis. I understand the void this creates in their lives and do sympathize. However, I do not feel it is in the best interest of my children for them to constantly be showered with toys and gifts. For example, this Christmas my two children had three gifts from my entire side of the family (not including what Santa brought) but about 2 dozen from their father's side...each. Their birthdays are near, and I want to now somehow gracefully encourage my in-laws, especially, to give to my children in other ways--such as a visit--rather than spoiling them with gifts. As a parent, would this situation bother you, too? What's the best way to go about getting my point across?

Answer 1

tell them point blank. my mom an dad decided to do for all the grand kids. they buy them one gift per birthday an Christmas for 20.00 might be school supplies books . they normally do not buy toys that doesn't have some type of learning tool behind it. then my folks put 25-50 dollars in a college fund for each child an also 10.00 a month money they feel if they would have lived closer they would spend on movie tickets or a meal with them so they are able to attend any school they would like to attend when it is time to go to school.

Answer 2

I really dont think it matters. When I was a baby I never wanted to be showerd by toys. I didnt like toys. I rather dance and sing for fun. Or walk around the house. Or act like I was one the house phone. When I was a baby I wasnt spoiled. Now to admit Im 14, and Im a spoiled brat to tell you the truth. But hey Im a nice kid : ]]
But one thing I do see is getting o additced to little kids. Because you have to go to work or go off somewhere and they wine and cry about it.
Oh yah about the presents. Its all about
Qality not Quantity.
Im sorry Im a bad speller but you know what I mean.

Answer 3

Why not suggesting that they get the children some bonds or start up a savings account for their college fund along with one or two toys (max). Explain to them that they will eventually go out of all the toys that they get them or that they will get broken or lost, but helping to save up money for college would be more beneficial to the children.

Answer 4

once a grandma said that grandparents are there to spoil the kids, she reasoned that they've had their time of discipling their kids and now it's the turn of their children to handle that task on their own kids. i know it's a very contentious point of view, but if you ask me, the thought that my children are loved by a lot of people will always make me happy. since i cannot dictate those people on how they would show their love for my kids, i let them be. at the end of the day, i take i upon myself how i would raise them and instill values and discipline in them.

Answer 5

You can only spoil your child by giving them rewards for bad behavior. Like buying him that toy he's on the floor having a fit about. Spank him instead and save yourself the headache.

Answer 6

I think there is nothing wrong with spoiling your children...they feel guilty about not seeing them as much as they wish they could. Explain that to your children and they will understand...if they are too young then explain it when they get older_

Answer 7

yes i worried about this as they were growing up. but you know it all turned out ok. they were very spoiled boys growing up who wanted for nothing! now they are two grown men with all the values in life that i taught them! they turned out to be two very good men!

Answer 8

Hey I agree! n