a bit of a touchy question about race...?

Question

i was watching the movie "bend it like bekham" today and a question popped into my head: why is it that when, say, an indian, japanese, etc. (just examples) parents demand that their children (society too) marry someone of only their same race and culture, it's considered okay- but when a white person wants to do the same, they're considered "racist"?
it's a serious question, so let's be grownups about it, okay? and please don't start with the "you must be racist"-accusations because i'm not white okay? so please don't go there. thank you all for your insight.

auntb "And your proof that you are not racist is you are not white."
i knew someone was going to mention this. when i said that, it wasn't on the assumption that only white people are racist. i said it because i figured some people would assume that i was white because my question could be percieved as a pro-white nationalist argument or something. do you see why i mentioned it now?

Answer 1

I am guessing people are looking at history (slave trade, apartheid, holocaust) and associating whites with being racist. Henceforth, if a white person wants to date in his or her race exclusively, he or she is considered racist.

It is certainly not fair because people have the right of preference. Also, plenty of other cultures have committed atrocities with race as a reason. People may choose to date within their race because of cultural similarities, language, or simply they think people of their race are irresistible. Nothing wrong with that. I guess what makes this wrong is putting down another race because of their difference in appearance or culture.

Answer 2

Actually, I consider it just being old-fashioned, no matter what the race of the parents. I don't consider a parent racist because they would rather not have a mixed marriage in the family. Maybe they are, but maybe it's just an opinion that the couple will face problems which the parents don't want them to have to face.

Generally, the parents' worries are unfounded, because they are remembering when they were young, and the bias against mixed marriages was so much stronger. Of course, outside of the United States and a few more progressive European countries, the couple really will face more problems than in the more progressive countries.

I understand your frustration in realizing that not all races or religions have picked up on the openness which we would like to take for granted. It will take time. And we need to get over the idea that any time you have a problem, if you label it racist, you can divert people from a realistic look at the problem.

For example, you felt the need to warn people not to assume you are a racist for asking the question. And your proof that you are not racist is you are not white. Now what does that say about your assumptions?

Answer 3

I guess it comes down to how people are brought up. Culture. Americans have been taught that it's okay to marry out of your culture because let's face it how many truly white people are there? I'm not 'all' white. I think that some cultures like to try and preserve there culture by only marrying someone from their religion or color or area. It's acceptable because that is how it has been done for so long. In many countries parents can still arrange marriages for their children. Also in other countries I think children are taught to respect the opinions of their elders more so a tradition would live on longer.

Answer 4

Interesting point! I am a person who believes that it should be the same across the board. If a black person can do it and it's okay, then a white person should be able to. If a black person can call his friend a n*****, then a white person should. If a Japanese family will only let their children marry other Japanese, then it should be okay for white people. If a person can thank the African American Community for their award at the Academy Awards, then a Caucasian should be able to thank the Caucasian American Community. Set the standard, but make it equal across all bases. If a white student has to have a 3.5 GPA to get accepted to a particular university, it should be the same for a black student (or any student). Affirmative action is racist against Caucasians. I understand this nation has had a horrible history of racism, however more racism (affirmative action for example) further hurts and doesn't help.

Answer 5

I saw that movie last year. It's funny, because I came away from it wondering why women have to follow such strict social norms and men are so much freer to do what they want.

I honestly think the race issue has to do with the historical oppression that non-whites have experienced from the white race. It has become a matter of survival of their race and culture. If the population of any race gets too small, and the geographical spaces between members of that race become very large, then they are going to be in danger of being destroyed either by enemies or marrying outside of their race.

I'm not saying that it is right or wrong to marry anybody from a race other than our own, but I think the basis of the practice of keeping to our own race is fear of losing the culture and people we identify with.

It would be like having your childhood hometown cut into pieces and just annexed by neighboring towns so that it didn't exist anymore. It isn't immoral, but it would be sad to lose it.

Answer 6

I don't believe so, when it comes to marrying, everyone is free to marry their choice. We usually marry the person we love no matter what race they are. With the exception of those very close tight communities of course but they are only a little percentage. Everyday I saw people with different race together that have their own family (and their kids are so beautiful). Mostly white with a different race. Let's look around us the world is changing too fast. Let's stop thinking about race, that's what I'm doing. I always thought there's only one race, "the human race".

Answer 7

I think that society has overcompensated for racism that has taken place in the past. Becuase white people are looked at as committing the most racism, people are overly sensitive to it. I agree that standards should be the same across the board. If it is okay for the Japanese, it should be okay for whites. If there can be an African American club, there should not be any angst over a Caucasian American club. If there is a scholarship only for Hispanics, there should be able to be a scholarship only for whites as well.

Answer 8

Because white people are easy targets, as far as being called racist. Because of what's happened in the past. I also think other races are a little jealous of white people, although most would die before admitting it. They shouldn't be, I've met all kinds of wonderful people of different races, all have good and bad. I am white, but racism is passed on from generations, we are getting better. Calling whites racists, in a way, I believe is some kind of payback. I don't like to be called that. I am racist, but against assholes of any race, not the race itself.

Answer 9

I don't know, to be quite honest with you. I think it's just culture, you know? Which isn't a valid excuse, but then again, people do all sorts of things in the name of religion, yet religion is still around. I saw "Bend It Like Bekham" and I really enjoyed it. I personally think different cultures are fascinating, but that doesn't mean I agree with all of the ideals.

I'm with you, though. I think it's a bit wacked.

Hope I helped.

*Fishie*

Answer 10

It is because you have people out there promoting hate against the white folks. It should be about choice only If I married a white women I don't see it as racist, but then again people have lost there sense of logic nowadays.