So my boyfriend and I (both 19) decided to get married about two months ago. The engagement ring is going to come later (no money now, both in college) and the wedding is going to be after we graduate (in 2009, 2 years from now). So we really have not that much of a difference from our 1.5 years of dating so far, except for the assurance that we are each devoted to one another. So men seem to have no problem with this. He's thinking ok that's great, I've found my girl, now on with life until the actual wedding. But for me... I can't stop thinking about it, staring at peoples' wedding and engagement rings, looking at gowns online, thinking about who my bridesmaids will be, what they'll wear, who to invite to our small wedding, where to have it... etc. etc... basically things that should be saved for, well, 2 years from now. Two questions:
1. Is this healthy or normal? If not, please go to #2.
2. How do I stop being obsessed? I need to study right now and graduate, not worry about this!
2006-12-31 15:11:20 · 13 answers · asked by reba 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
also,
3. What do you call this status? Would this be called 'engaged'?
4. Any other advice from the older and wiser will be greatly appreciated!
THANKS!
2006-12-31 15:12:29 · update #1
WOW SLOW DOWN!!!
Yes you are really overwhelmed with the whole wedding!
Slow down i know that this is really a exciting time for you but honey you really do need to study! You have plenty of time to worry about this wedding. If you think about it to much its really gonna hurt your grades and you dont want that.
As for no ring... If he asked you to marry you and you said yes then YES you are engaged. You do not have to have a ring to make it official!
Congratulations to the both of you and if you need any advice with wedding ideas then contact me i would be more than happy to help you and send you some Pict's.
contact me at nickole30@yahoo.com
2006-12-31 15:38:06 · answer #1 · answered by nickole30 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what I understand, It sounds like it is a promise and not an engagement yet. The engagement is bound by the ring. It is normal to get excited about it and plan but I have a few things for you to think about.
First you say 2 years you graduate. Don't you both want to get established in your chosen career? Save for the wedding ( as you mentioned)
Why don't you relax and remember that your education comes first right now. I wish I had an answer for that.
You have only been dating for a year and a half. Take your time. It takes a lot of time to really get to know someone. When you think you know them so well they surprise you and do something totally out of character.
Good Luck and Happy New Year.
2006-12-31 23:30:54 · answer #2 · answered by kellyfl59 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is so normal , however try to slow down. It is OK to think about everything that has to be done. Buy a wedding planner / calender - it will outline what needs to be done and when. Set you budget and do what you need to, to stay within it. Also every wedding has a few blips along the way. As much as we would like , it is very hard to have control over everything thing involved in having a perfect wedding . You are now engaged and starting a new phase in your life . Focus on the most important thing right . Graduating . Take your time with each of the selections you have make - date , rings, dress , attendants,etc. Congratulations and God Luck!!!
2006-12-31 23:29:40 · answer #3 · answered by margie c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Totally normal!!!! But since you are in college, I bet you're fairly adept at putting things in perspective. Allow your self a set amount of time (30 min a day looking at wedding mags, 2 hours on a sunday shopping for dresses, or no more than 3 hours a week, etc) based on your academic demands. Be sure to put the schooling first. Enjoy and best wishes!!! Oh, and definately consider yourself engaged!!! My engagement "ring' came in the form of an MG convertible. My hubby (fiancee at the time) said he really wanted to buy that for me but it would be all the engagement ring money. I told him "everyone knows we're getting married! BUY the car!" And we've lived happily ever after (20 yrs so far!)
2006-12-31 23:21:37 · answer #4 · answered by flipdout2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All girls dream about their weddings, even grown girls. Yep you are normal. Secondly two years is not that long of a time, Most wedding halls are reserved at least a year in advance. Lots of churches are too if you come from a large congregation. You have about a year to just enjoy it. In your spare time think about what you want your wedding but dont obsess , and do your boyfriend a favor, dont tell him unless you are sure of something. He will not be able to take 2 years of planning, replanning and replanning the replanning. Here is an idea. Make a calendar and in a year, start the hard planning, till then think of this time as research time.
2006-12-31 23:16:19 · answer #5 · answered by fancyname 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's natural that you would be thinking about these things. Some people start planning their wedding years in advance - however - one thing you might want to do is put things in a priority status. Getting through school is important now, planning your wedding can come later when you have finished school. You need to be able to concentrate on your studies. You've "pledged" to each other so let that be enough for now and get on with your education. 2 yrs. - plenty of time to plan the wedding - later. Good luck to you and yours.
2006-12-31 23:23:59 · answer #6 · answered by skeeosh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's perfectly normal. I was engaged for 9 months and i lived day and night thinking and planning my wedding. It's the most beautiful day of your life, then having a baby supersedes that. Congratulations and don't worry, planning is going to ensure you have the special day you dream of.
2006-12-31 23:17:53 · answer #7 · answered by Luv_my_littleangels 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its normal for a girl to have these feeling when your this young. Do something once a month so when the day comes you wont have anything to worry about. Like month one getyour party favor made, month two get your flower arranged, month 3 get your invites . etc. then your constantly doing something but getting allot accomplished and being constructive. DON'T OVER WHELM YOUR FIANCE!!!!!
with the details . He'll be bored.
2006-12-31 23:19:48 · answer #8 · answered by rhiannonnightqueen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with being excited about your special day. Congratulations. As time goes on, you won't be as obsessed. Enjoy.
2006-12-31 23:15:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think this is normal. to me it just seems that you really like this guy and want to marry him, and can't wait until the wedding date comes, just try to not dedicate all of your time to this
2006-12-31 23:16:11 · answer #10 · answered by perla0776 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋