I feel horrible for saying this but is it me or do all black men I have issues, I cannot seem to find a good black man? Or is it not just black men but all men? I am 29y/o and I am so tired of going through the same ****. Someone plz enlighten me? Tell me where all the good men are???
2006-12-31 14:40:54 · 34 answers · asked by *sexy mocha* 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no racist plz
2006-12-31 14:42:49 · update #1
I'm black and it's not about color, it about who you choose. I am guessing here, but the traits you find attractive/cute about the men you choose is flawed. You are going through the same **** because you are not willing to determine good traits from bad ones. I don't care what race you date, you are going to pick the "bad boys" because that is what you want. I'm a good black man but you wouldn't want me because I'm not a
"bad boy". You are ignoring the "issues" early on instead of dumping the guy. Then you get fed up and end up getting hurt, but YOU must learn to recognize good and bad characteristics.
2006-12-31 14:56:38 · answer #1 · answered by B 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Hope this doesn't sound crazy, but I have a lot of friends that meet nice guys through myspace. I am not saying married someone off myspace but you never know. There are good men from all races. My friend is black and she always talks about her husband. I mean she doesn't say he is perfect, but she never talks about him having issues. When you say "good black man" are you referring to cheating. Well, honey, men from all races cheat. You just haven't found the right man for you. Good Luck and don't give up.
2006-12-31 14:47:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is good men and bad men in all races. Just look for the characteristics that interest you, but don't settle. When you start making excuses for people by accepting things that you don't like you wake and realize this is not what you are looking for and you've waste months on this person.
2006-12-31 15:05:31 · answer #3 · answered by Gee-Gee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man is a man, no matter what race he is, just as a boy is a boy, no matter what race he is. They're are boys out here masquerading as men. Good, reliable, real men are still out there, as a matter of fact, they are asking where are the good women. It's hard I know, but trust the Lord to send you the RIGHT MAN, so that you will be satisfied.
2006-12-31 14:47:14 · answer #4 · answered by guts_spunk_moxie 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I agree with "B" the most. He is right on with what he says. You have to first establish in your mind the traits and qualities that matter to you the most in a man, and then go by that list when you meet them. If any of them have qualities that you do not want in a man, then it saves you the trouble of having to go through the hassle of dating them and then finding out they are not the right match for you.
It is a matter of using your head more along with your heart. I have in the past jumped into relationships with only my heart. The heart does not care about bad qualities or flaws, it only cares to just love. Love is blind. The heart will love anybody. That is its nature. But that does not guarantee happiness. Love itself is not enough to give us what we need. We can fall head over heals for the most flawed person in a dizzying manner and still not be happy. That I have learnt. I have learnt that I need to use my head more to analyze the potential of long term happiness, peace and security with someone. Do they meet all the criteria that are important to me in my life and relationship? If yes, then I'd go for it.
So take this time to write down a list of what you must have in a relationship and what you do not want in your partner, that way your mind can help you prevent making choices that only delay your pursuit of happiness.
2006-12-31 15:40:05 · answer #5 · answered by Amma's Child 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
all men in all races! LOL. No seriously, 9 out of 10 guys you aren't going to like but there is always hope? the other 1%.
keep looking, have some patience and don't give up.
good luck in the new year.
2006-12-31 14:58:08 · answer #6 · answered by angel1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should stop looking for a black man and start looking for a good man. You may be surprised how many good ones there are if you do not have guidelines for what kind of man is acceptable to you.
2006-12-31 15:07:14 · answer #7 · answered by tim b 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They're someones dad. Otherwise, maybe you could meet one in church or some club in which you are interested. One that draws good people (men). It's just men; I do not believe one race is any different than the other.
2006-12-31 14:45:12 · answer #8 · answered by seblexie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The good men will come to you. Don't settle for anything less. God has a plan for you. A man will walk into your life when God is ready. You may want to decide where you want your man to come from. Start looking for men at church, volunteering, work, from good friends and family. Don't settle, you are better than that!
2006-12-31 15:02:14 · answer #9 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are a lot of good black men out there you just havent been in the right places. try new places that you never thought about going to forget about the night clubs...... try bowling alleys,museums,churches you know positive places. good luck
2006-12-31 15:07:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋