How can I get my wife to love me again?

Question

My wife is indifferent to me these days. We're intimate twice a year if I'm lucky. I once called her to tell her I was on my way to get an emergency EKG because they thought I'd had a heart attack and she asked me to call her when it was done and let me know how it went. She tells me she loves me, but I just don't see it. Am I blind? Am I stupid?

Other women like me and act as if I am interesting and worthwhile. I know I'm not terribly good looking (think Elmer Fudd), but for whatever reason, I have a number of offers should I decide to leave her.

What do I do? I want my wife and my life back.

-Bart

Answer 1

Ask her what happened. Ask her why she is holding off being intimate and open with you. If you really want this marriage to work, you will fight like hell to seek counseling and work on your faults, and work on your marriage for the rest of your lives, not until things are "better." "I want my wife and my life back." It's your choice. If you really want your wife back into your life, take action. Quit standing on the sidelines until she comes around. The ball is in your court. Whether you want to continue into overtime or quit is up to you. Take care of yourself!

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Well about the sex 2 times a year do you act like Elmer too? Sometimes a man stops being romantic and so a woman is no longer interested in just doing it. And sometimes a woman reaches a point in her life where her hormones are changing AGAIN and sex is a touchy subject depending on the approach and her mood. The part about you going to the hospital and she said to call her with results, I'm so sorry but I started cracking up. I couldn't believe someone would say that to anyone let alone their own husband. That makes me think their is a bigger problem. Have you tried talking to her and asking question and telling her how you feel? Start there and if that doesn't work suggest going together to a marriage counselor. Now go take a hot shower put on some cologne brush your teeth. Then run her a hot bubble bath light a candle in the bathroom and tell her to go relax in the tub. When she gets out ask her if she wants to watch a good movie, dim the lights and snuggle with her, don't try anything just hold her, and see what happens. HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Answer 4

Aww Bart, you sound really sweet, it makes me sad that you are being hurt so much. You really need to talk to your wife, communication is the only way to make a relationship work. Try doing something really special, like bringing her flowers or a favorit perfume or other little gift, and make her her favorite dinner (or order it if you're not much of a cook!), and tell her how much you love her and appreciate her and cherish your life together. Then ask her if she would please spend a little time just the two of you, to talk about your relationship. Tell her about how you are feeling, but be extra careful not to blame her for your feelings, because that will only cause her to get defensive and shut down communication. Then, be sure to really listen to her, and find out about her feelings, because her actions make me suspect that maybe she is carrying around some sort of hurt or bitterness as well. After you have spent time talking about all this, make a commitment to each other to be more open and honest with each other, to let each other know when you are feeling hurt or neglected. Then you are going to have to continue to build on this, schedule regular times together, date nights, and remember to do little things to show how much you love her all the time. If you both are willing to give it an effort it can work. Best wishes, I hope you guys can work it out, marriage is a precious thing and should be saved whenever possible!

Answer 5

I think it is over. You threatened to call the police on her. Don't you get it? Possibly taking away a child she loves. When you said, "...if she didn't stop spanking my daughter..." you are going to find out how much she is "my" daughter in a real hurry. Women feel this is their blood and not yours. You don't come between them... ever. Don't listen to most of these people because they don't understand what it's like to be around an LD child. All are not the same and the court will be able to see it. These people discount an LD child but the court doesn't. The fact that it took someone to determine the child was LD tells me, it's not obvious... and even to her own parents. So this is a disagreement over child rearing. I have a sister that is LD. Unless it is obvious to you and would be to the rest of the world that this was wrong for your wife, then you are coming between her and her kid.

Answer 6

Bart, the only way you will resolve this problem is through comunication, many couples fall apart and go through divorce because of lack of comunication, just think about it, if you are married to her you must have been together for one year at least and if you can be together for that long whats stoping it from lasting forever, the only way you will get this problem resolved is by sitting down with her in a nice calm nutral atmosphere and talk about your problems, tell her how you feel and listen to her, do not interupt and do not shout at any point, do not be cheeky but be understanding and if you cant understand ask her to help you understand and do the same for her, im sure she loves you and im sure you love her, but one of you will need to comunicate and say their feelings, otherwise it will only get worse and worse,

Answer 7

First talk to her about why she's acting like the way she is and ask her if there's anyone else. If she says she don't feel like the way she does when you two met than try to impress her by doing romantic things that she like with her more often. Go on dates, take her to places that interests her, and even set up a nice dinner at home with candles everywhere and roses on the floor. If not the romantic type, help her with chores or errands or anything else that she does everyday. Good Luck!

Answer 8

I was in a 6 years relationship, we didnt get married but lived like husband and wife. And to be completely honest with you after fours years of not being treat how I wanted (and knew I should) to be treated I was ready to leave but I stayed thinking that maybe he would realize what he had. Two more years came and went and nothing changed. I felt like other men paid more attention to me than he did and it wasnt that I wanted the world I just wanted attention. To be told how beautiful I am even when I was in my p.j's just lounging or to go out and do something just for me(i.e. dinner, buy a card to express his feelings, anything.) But nothing is what I got: now I am not saying that he wasn't a good man he just wasn't good for me..

I guess the point I am trying to make is this either you or her maybe both aren't gettin what you need out of the relationship. You should talk to her that is something I didn't do that I wish I would have. Over dinner maybe tell her how you feel and that you want to make your marriage work. Ask her what you can do to be a better husband and to get the love back you once had. Its easier said than done but once you get it over with you will feel so much better. Life is short and you you only get one ticket for the ride. Enjoy it and let your wife most of all know how you feel. PLEASE DONT BRING UP ANYTHING ABOUT OTHER WOMEN FINDING YOU INTERESTING OR WORTHWHILE..

Trust in your self, have confidence and let her know how seriuos you are about your love for her. buy her roses or her favorite flower for no reason just to let her know you were thinking of her. Ask her how her days are and just listen to her. Rub her back when it hurts and walk up from behind her and hokd her in your arms and say " baby have I told you how beautiful you are today or how much I LOVE you." It should put a smile on her face and if it doesn't then I would say move on, she is over you and into her own life and whats going on with "HER".

Answer 9

It sounds like your wife is just going through the motions. You might want to rethink your marriage and decide whether or not you want to continue under these conditions. You seem to be dealing with some insecurities about your appearance, which may be the reason why you have allowed your wife's indifference. A woman who truly loves you sees far beyond your looks, so pull yourself together and figure out what you want to do about your future.

Answer 10

Wow, your wife is a lucky woman. You are such a sweet guy. I would sit down and talk to her. Tell her you love her and you are worried that the tow of you are growing apart. Ask her if you have done anything to drive a wedge between the two of you. If so, listen to her. Don't argue back, no matter what. Just tell her you hate that she feels that way and that you certainly don't want her to feel that way. Then ask what you can do to change the situation.

I hope it goes well!

Answer 11

Love never fails. If she loves you, she loves you. Sometimes a person can be going through something themselves and may not pay much attention to what is going on around them. You should sit her down and have a heart-to-heart. You heart to her heart. Tell her how you feel. Tell her how much you love her and want things to be back the way they were. Then put those words in to action. Action speaks louder than words. Show her now, have her for the rest of your live.