We already have one daughter but i thought it might be easier for everyone if i gave the new baby up for adoption. nothing is final yet, i was just wanting some of your thoughts. thanks!
2006-12-31 13:53:29 · 29 answers · asked by Melanie M 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I was in an almost identical situation at one point. I didn't know how I was going to deal with the loss of my marriage and a new baby! Well, I did--even though I was alone two days after giving birth. Today, I am so glad that I didn't do it. I am worried that you are reacting to a stressful situation in an extreme way. Think five years on down the line. Don't let emotions that are scary now force you into a decision that you may regret later.
Take care! (((Hugs)))
2006-12-31 14:03:43 · answer #1 · answered by mizchulita 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry you are having a difficult time. This is an incredibly hard question for you to have to consider, especially at such an emotional & vulnerable time. It might be easier in the short term, but I can't help wondering what about the long term? When your other child wants to know what happened to the baby & where their brother or sister is? Will they think that if Mommie doesn't want me she'll give me away too? Not that you don't want this baby with every fiber of your being, you are trying to do what is best for everybody, yourself, your child & your child to be born as well. You are in a difficult place and I'm praying God will give you the strength you need to make the right decision. This is such a personal issue I don't think anybody but you can make it. Hang in there either way you decide. Your babies need you and love you unconditionally & it shows what a fine Mother you are that you are putting your babies needs first in considering this choice. I would always feel like a part of me had been cut off if one of my 3 children weren't with me each day. But my sister tried for 15 years & just finally was able to have a newborn baby boy. So maybe you would be giving a family the gift of a child they could never have any other way. But what if your spouse & you were reconciled, then what? How would you each feel about having this child in another family's life & not yours? Would it be a breach that could never heal? There are no easy answers, the best I can give you is my prayers & a hope all will turn out good.
Be blessed,
Debi
2006-12-31 22:09:52 · answer #2 · answered by Debimom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should keep the child even if you are divorcing your husband. in your mind it may make things easier, but think about how you would feel knowing you have a daughter/son out there that you will never get to see grow and meet. I think that would make things worse for you because then you will be left with the question "what if" and you'll spend your time wondering whether it's being taken care of, or with a good family, or what he/she looks like, and what they like to do. It's your decision, but you already have one little girl. is she around you most of the time and does she know you're having another baby? it could also be hard on her, knowing that she had a little brother or sister that you gave away to make things easier between you and the father. If you don't think it will make things harder than the divorce will be, then adoption is probably best for you. but i would suggest keeping it, because even though you're getting a divorce both of you made that child. try seeing if he wants custody of that child and you guys can alternate visitation rights or something. i think once you go all the way thru the pregnancy, you won't want to give it up for adoption.
2006-12-31 22:12:30 · answer #3 · answered by kaiyas_mom07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you say 'thought it might be easier for everyone' if you give the baby up. What about what YOU the mother wants? Does the baby stand a chance at having a good life if you keep it? I'm sure giving the baby up would be a terribly hard decision to make. But, you have to do what's best for the baby and what you feel in your heart is best. Don't think about what others think of you. Just because you may be divorcing doesn't mean you still can't be a wonderful single mom. Think long and hard about this. Giving the baby up is a permanent decision. Could you live with it??
2006-12-31 21:59:36 · answer #4 · answered by animal_mother 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. That is a tough question. I don't think it is one I would feel comfortable answering for you because it is such a personal decision. However, here are some questions I would consider.
1. Can you and that baby's father provide for the child?
2. Do you want the child?
3. How are you going to feel carrying the baby for 9 months, going through childbirth and then handing the baby over to someone else?
4. How are you going to feel a year down the road? 2 years down the road? 5 years down the road?
5. Would the father agree? If he does not agree, you would be in a position where he might take the child and then you would have to pay child support... (something to consider).
Best wishes--I can only imagine how tough it must be on you right now.
2006-12-31 22:01:32 · answer #5 · answered by ssc 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's one important question here: Do you WANT the baby?
If you want the baby, you can do it, with or without him. If you want the baby, don't let a silly little divorce get in the way of you keeping this baby. A baby does not NEED a married set of parents to be happy and healthy.
And if you do not want the baby, then discuss it with your husband. Perhaps he wants it. Or you could put it up for adoption.
If you want another baby, though, there's no reason you can't keep this one.
2007-01-01 02:31:05 · answer #6 · answered by Elizabeth L J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know your financial situation or what kind of problems you may face with having another baby but let me say this ... IF ANYONE EVEN SO MUCH AS HINTED AT TAKING MY BABY I WOULD BEAT THE FREAKING CRAP OUT OF THEM AND MAKE THEM EAT IT!!! If it is at all possible ... KEEP YOUR BABY! But ... if you must give your baby up for adoption, research the people who will be receiving this beautiful bundle of joy. At least give your baby a great opportunity to have a full and rich happy life. Like I said at the beginning ... I don't know your situation so I should not judge you for what you are thinking of doing. I apologize if my response was a bit harsh. I just want you to REALLY think about what you're gonna do. Good Luck.
2006-12-31 22:00:52 · answer #7 · answered by Average Joe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel it would be best for everyone concerned to give the baby up and are comfortable with it then go ahead and give it up. There is nothing wrong with only wanting one child as you enter single parenthood and there is nothing wrong with wanting something better for BOTH of your children and if You as a parent can only give one the best then it would be very loving of you to give the new baby up for adoption. Divorce is hard enough without having to worry about what you're going to do as a single mother with a child and an infant.
2006-12-31 23:03:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like you can't support it or take care of it then maybe it would be better to give it up. Ultimately the best thing would be for you two to stay together and keep your family together. I know I don't know the situation though. My daughter went through this last summer but they ended up back together and have two beautiful kids and a happy family now. Good luck to you.
2006-12-31 22:02:54 · answer #9 · answered by Just Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well only you can decide what is best for you and your baby. If you don't think it would be best for the baby to live with you then I would say go for adoption, but if you can actually take care of him/her keep the baby.
2007-01-01 01:37:59 · answer #10 · answered by Kily 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋