how can i stop cutting myself and get help 4 my family??

Question

i usually do it 1 or 2 times a day and i really think i should stop but i cant, i usually do it in the bathroom at my house or in the school bathroom or the locker room,when people ask where i got the scares and i tell them its from my rabbit scraching me, i cant keep lying and my parents dont care about me(my dads sleepin around and go knows where, abd my moms always drunk) i have to rise my little brother (he's only 3 and im 14) i have to give him his bath, i have to take him to daycare, i have to bring him home from day care, get his food, do my home work, and this is too much and the only way i feel good is when pain is involved because then i know i can atleast feel one thing. sometimes my parents wont come home for days and will leave like $20 or sometimes none at all, i have a job at the hair parlor( i sweep hair) and i need help, i dont wanna tell the people at my skool cuz then they might seperate me and my little brother and i cant imagine life with out him....

i need to know what i can do to help my family and my cutting problem, also when my mom is home she beats me, and i remember one day at skool, we were in gym class and we were at the pool and it was like a swimming final and if i didnt do it i would fail the class and i was trying to cover my bruses with my hair(its althe way to my knees) but i still felt like people could see them, they were staring at me, whispering about me asking me where i got them and i just told them i fell off my horse, the teachers tried to talk to me i didnt wanna talk, i like it better when she hits me atleast she knows im there, i really need help, but in a way thet me and my brother can stay together, he calls me mommy and i feel really old being 14 and been raising a baby since i was 11 years old, i need help, and guys are always saying "oh look at Koi shes so loose she had a baby when she was 11) (my name is native american on the count of me being a native american) please read the continuation

i dont have any friends, every body thinks that noah(my brother) is my kid, every bosy makes fun of me, girls walk up behind me and cut my hair, i get beat up by practicly every body, i dont talk to people, i live in Utah where in my school im the darkest thing walking,people always make the "indian sound" and they are just horrible to me and the friends i did have were fake, they just wanted to see my house, they wanted to see my living conditions so tey could spred roumers about me, every body hates me every body beats me up and i just want it all to stop, but i cant cuz i no that my brother needs me.

the rest of my family is in Canada,Alaska,and Arizona, i cant be seperated from my brother i'm the only person he has and he's the only person i have

the guys at my skool all think i'm easy because they think that my brother is my baby and are always aking if i'll give them bj's, i had 1 friend he was teased also because he was African American but he moved over the summer to Detroit his dad got a new job, and my family, we dont talk much just on major holidays, and native american , i just dont no how to deal with all of this

please help me,please??

i also get teased cuz i have like perfect grades and sometimes just so they wont make fun of me i bomb tests on purpous,i no all the matirial i'l do good on the home work but if people see my good grades they all make fun of me, in gym i'v had girls try to old me under the water(they where expelled) peopel try to pull my hair out cuz they dont think that my hair is real, i'am just sick of it, i have people always askig to see my scars, i also have my nose pierced and they make fun of that and i just want it to all STOP

i'v always wondered what it would be like to die and i think it would be nice, but then i always think of my brother and if he spent 1 week with my parents he would die and i no that i want to die but i cnat, the girls always make fun of me i have NO FRIENDS AT ALL!!!!! and thay tease me in front of teachers and i was tought if you cry you are weak, so i dont, i just take the abuse from them, the teachers dont do anything about the teasing and i am the ONLY PERSON IN THE SCHOOL WHO ISNT WHITE, i dont wish i was white but the people at my school, i wish they would treat me better or with somr kind of respect

when my dad comes home he always smells bad, he yells at me he says i'll be just like my mom"only good for laying on m back" and then he makes me cook something for him, he takes a shower and leaves, it really hurts when your own father would say something like that to you, it's like maybe that is the only thing i can do when i'm older but atleast i can say i did a better job with my brother than they ever could have, i mean i would never say that to him cuz i no id get my a*s*s* kicked, i dont write things down cuz one time my dad read my journal and just started yelling at me and then my mom beat me cuz i wrote things that made them angry, i cant even honestly say i even love them

thanks to all who answer, sorry its so long its just i had and still have alot to say, ahev a happy and safe new year

i dont have extra money for therapy, that money goes to the day care time for my brother

Answer 1

i'm so sorry.
please, go see a school counselor about it. they can call child protection services and chances are, they will not separate you from your brother. the most important thing right now is you and your brother being safe.
you deserve so much better than how you've been treated... you are amazingly strong and i'm so proud of you for staying alive for your brother.
i will pray for you...
god bless you.

Answer 2

You need help. I know you won't want to tell anybody but it's the only way that you'll have a better life. What you need to do is tell an adult that you trust will be on your side, preferrably someone related to you because that would make it much easier. If you have an adult you know you can trust, you'll have an adult that will fight for keeping you and your brother together if it's in your best interest. After you find said adult you should talk to a counselor but probably not the one at your school. You see, last year my friend cut herself. One day she was crying all day because her mom had been beating her and I made her go to the counselor. She told them about the cutting but not the beating and was taken away in handcuffs to a mental hospital with people asking if she was suicidal all night. Please get help, and be careful. Make sure you only tell people you can trust. It was a terrible experience to have my friend go through that. God bless you, good luck.

Answer 3

Sweetie, I am known on this site for acting crazy and giving silly answers, but I really feel your pain. I grew up in a household with an alcoholic mother and a father who did his thing outside of the home. Please talk to your school counselors or a teacher that you trust. Believe me when I say that NO ONE should go through what you are going through.

I see that some people above me have given telephone numbers to some places that are able to help you as well. If you don't feel as though you can get help from your school, please call one or all of them. I don't suggest running away like one person said above because it is hard on the street (believe me, I know).

You could also talk to the people at your brother's daycare. I'm pretty sure they have noticed that something isn't right and they are just hoping that you will say something first.

If you need someone to talk to, you can go to my profile page and email me. I do understand where you are coming from and I honestly don't want you to go through it alone.

Answer 4

Listen you can't keep going on like this, it has to stop as you know it does. well i think right now the only choice is to 1st speak to your parents only if you think its safe to do so !! If not speak to one of your teachers at school or even a family member you can trust. You must know that your little brother is not your responsibility @ the age of 14 and you may be split from each other for a while but its best for both of you to get out of this situation for a while untill your parents get thier acts together.

Good luck i hope you sort this out sooner than later ...x

Answer 5

You need to call Boys and Girls Town, they will help you and do everything in their power to keep you and you're little brother together. I've been there and it really is quite nice, alot of helpful people and kids just like you. No more lies though, if they ask you, you need to tell them exactly what you just told us, you will be so glad that you did.1-800-448-3000 or 1-417-865-1646 Please don't wait any longer, you and you're little brothers health depend on it. You can write me at [e-mail], my name is Cheryl. Good Luck sweetheart. You'll be glad you did.

Answer 6

you have really been taking a lot of crap. you can't change where your father goes you can just tell him that he means a lot to you and he should see what he's doing to your family. you might feel like your mother beating you is a way for her to make you feel like she knows your there but thats not the answer. you need to tell someone. its not right for a child to raise a child. but i'm sio glad you didnt' let him get subjected to the violence that you have been subjected to. your situation sucks alot. but you can do something about it. i dont' think that they'll take your brother away from you. he is obviously the most important thing to you in the world. and cutting yourself only endangers your life. he can't live without you. i'm not trying to make you feel bad, but i'm sure he needs you. he looks up to you a lot and im sure your the biggest influence in his life. what would he do without you? you wouldn't leave him to your mother or father would you. there is a way out. but you have to go find some help. go to a school counceler and i'm sure they can help you. there are many people who would care about you and your life. don't ever think that no one cares because there is always someone who will. and as for the jerks at school. the heck with them. you don't need that. stand up for your self. you are obviously very brave and courage like yours is hard to come by. don't let your life slip away. take care of the most important person to you. keep going , and don't ever give up because there is someone who needs you. your little brother.

Answer 7

holy mary mother of god. if this is true, then if you want to cry, cry, it makes you stronger not weaker. one day you will burst and kill everyone in your school. that happens. call the closest family you have and tell them whats going on. if that doesnt work, see a doctor or a school counselor. you wont get seperated from your brother, make sure they know you cant do that. as for people at school, tell them to **** off. and if they dont kick their *****. and maybe find the right time to talk to your parents. good luck, and your in my prayers.

Answer 8

MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOR brother as well as your family.
I know about the cutting, I still have a couple of deep scars from 17 or 18 years ago, I am 35 now.
One thing that GOT my attention as far as the cutting goes, is that you can ACCIDENTLY GO TOO FAR, or a rusty blade, or whatever can cause LOCKJAW or something like that.
I am really sorry for you, at 14, you should be able to BE A KID.
I pray that the other schoolchildren would give you a break, but you have to consider, they are PROBABLY MOSTLY ALL MORMONS (morons)... They think that THEY will one day REACH ,"god-hood, and have their own Universe to rule over.
Sorry, i do not usually like to badmouth other religions, but , being that I am Human, and I feel or see your pain, trying to somehow HURT them seems like it is gonna somehow make it better.
I wish there was someway you could , with your brother, ofcourse, go down to live with some of your EXTENDED family in AZ.
Or in CANADA.
I do not mean any offense in any way, with this next comment; but just being around more of "YOUR" people, is better for YOU and YOUR little Brother right now, as it seems, if you are with more of your family, friends, and more natives, rather than all whites, who are RUDE LITTLE *SSHOLES...(oh, I'm white...But I believe we all are the same...we all have ONE CREATOR...GOD)...
So anyway.
Stop Cutting yourself, I know the PAIN can feel good, but if you accidently cut an artery, or if you cut a tendon, you will be less likely to be able to help you or your brother.
So DO YOU HAVE ANYONE in Canada, or AZ. you can stay with?
(This may be bad advice), but if so, forget CPS, who may just SEPERATE you and your brother from eachother, or who may take weeks or months to investigate...(BAD ADVICE I am sure), ...
But get on a BUS to AZ. or to Canada, have someone you trust in your family meet you, SOMEONE you know WILL LOOK AFTER YOU, if that is a possibility...
Arizona is BEAUTIFUL, just look out for the SCORPIONS, And AFRICANIZED BEES, Canada is also very beautiful, BUT AZ. IS WARM, WELL HOT!!!
You need help.
I wish you could contact one of your ELDERS, or atleast, some of your family, and tell them what is happening.
You need to get your WHOLE family help, or GET OUT OF THAT TERRIBLE situation.
You sound like AN ADULT, and you are just 14 yrs old, I have a daughter who is 14.
I do not know if she could ever do what you are doing, and yet she too has had a rough life...
So, PLEASE for you and your brother...STOP CUTTING...
See what CPS can do, if anything really...they may be able to get you and your family into COUNSELING, but it sounds like it is way beyond that.
You need to get out of there if your mom is beating you.
CPS may be able to help, they may be able to keep you and your brother together.
Yeah the BUS IDEA is BAD, do not listen to that advice, there is a STOP in LOS ANGELOS, California... THAT BUS STOP IS SCARY EVEN FOR ME, I was 19 or 21 when i was there...on a couple 2 or 3 different trips from WA, to AZ/phx.
So yeah, call your family in AZ or in Canada, let them know what is happening to you.
Let some of the ELDERS know, they can and will help you, but you have to talk to them, just like you FREELY TALKED to us here on this OPEN WORLDWIDE FORUM.
May God, or whatever GREAT BEING you believe in, BLESS YOU AND YOUR BROTHER.
May God also SMOTE some of those NASTY LITTLE MORMONS who are teasing you and calling you names.
Even as a Christian, I still believe in and KNOW KARMA is very real...
THEY WILL ALL GET theirs, what goes around comes around.
In four more years, you can be happy that all of this HORROR will be behind you, things will calm down greatly, as peer pressure, and school chums fade away, as just a bad ADOLESCENT experience.
Kepping you in my prayers...well i guess i will have to remember to pray...but I will pray for the safety and best for you and your brother...Even for your mom and da....
God Bless you.
Douglas

Answer 9

wow. honey first of all, get out of that house. ur parents are not doing anything for u. second talk to ur priceipal. if they are good they will make an effort to stop. last. try and see s counicler. i know it sound stupid but really it will help. u need someong to talk to. i wish you the BEST of luck!!!! happy new year.

Answer 10

i think firstly you need to find an adult you could trust and just tell them about it and see what they suggest.
you and your brother may not be seperated but you and ure borther will be seperated from your mom.
she can hurt you
and you should not be cutting yourself though it is hard to live like this.
you and your brother deserve better.
talk to another family member
please don't cut yourself what if your put in the hospital
what will happen to your brother then?!