I know my bf is.had been cheating we jsut had a daughter together..Im so angry but I want it to work out and every time i confront him he denighs it...how can i confront him in an effective way so we can discuss it..because ive done it so many times with no sucess...
2006-12-31 13:33:35 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sweetie, I'm not sure I know why you want it to "work out" with a man who's cheating on you....especially when you just gave birth to his child!
I have been exactly where you are and the sad truth is that he is unlikely to change. He's going to cheat (btw, do you know this for an absolute fact?); you're going to accuse; he's going to deny. Since you're tolerating it, what motivation does he have to stop?
Tell him goodbye (yes it's hard, I know) and when you meet someone wonderful---which you WILL, if you give yourself the chance---and you'll be asking yourself, what in the hell was I thinking by staying with him! That's exactly what happened to me :)
2006-12-31 13:45:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're gonna hate this answer, but I'm telling you from my own experience, there is no way to work this out with him at this point. BF needs to be kicked to the curb so he can learn his lessons. You should respect yourself enough to expect more for yourself. Don't try to stick it out because you just had a child together. She will come to learn that how he treats you is normal behavior. You know the truth, he wont admit it, this probably isn't the only thing he's lied about, and he will continue to lie to you if you continue to let him. You can't make him stop. All you can do is change yourself. Respect yourself. Expect more for yourself and your daughter. Think about what's important to you to have and not have in a good relationship and don't settle for less. It's a hard lesson to learn but you're putting yourself through unneccessary hearache. It will hurt less in the long run if you get away now. At least there will be light at the end of the tunnel.
2006-12-31 14:09:05 · answer #2 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know for a fact he's been cheating then put the proof in his face and then pull a Dr. Phil and kick his butt to the curb. You have a child to think of now. If he brings an incurable disease home to you who is going to raise your child? Life is too short to be with someone who doesn't respect you. There is someone out that will love and cherish you and your child. Don't settle for this guy!
2006-12-31 14:05:03 · answer #3 · answered by sweetie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that you have made up your mind to stay together with him whether he cheated or not. So, why do you need him to admit it? There isn't anything to discuss. If you don't take a stand and leave him, he is only going to do it again, because you accept it. This has nothing to do with your daughter.
2006-12-31 14:03:49 · answer #4 · answered by mich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A cheater is a cheater, no matter what. If your guts tell you that he is cheating, trust your guts. LEAVE HIM. And make him pay for the child support. You need to get some education and a good job if you do not have one already and stand your own two feet for yourself and for the sake of your baby. Prove to the idiot that you can survive without this looser. Go girl.
2006-12-31 14:11:39 · answer #5 · answered by "Vallamkali" 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be great for it not to work out but start putting money aside and preparing for when it won't. He probably feels trapped now that he has a child to care for and eventually may move on so you have to be prepared for that. as long as he is not ready to stop cheating and work things out with you, it is like talking to a brick wall and nothing that you can say will make him change until if when and if he wants to change.
2006-12-31 13:39:58 · answer #6 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...i believe undesirable for you and im sorry. first problem basically be particular you truly opt for to stay with him after this. it really is ordinary to say you opt for to stay b/c of your daughter yet that isnt a superb adequate reason truly in case you do not wanna be there. youthful ones %. up on such issues as that and that's going to influence the baby. 2d, in case your keen to artwork it out means that you're keen to forgive him. if you're keen to forgive him meaning you need to be keen to enable it bypass and under no circumstances convey it as a lot as him after that's all out and talked about. ideal suggestion is to take sometime and really mirror about what you opt for b/c the options you're making now not basically influence you yet your daughter as well. What she learns in existence and how she bargains with issues will come from the way you dealt with them so keep that in concepts. once you've stone chilly information that he's and under no circumstances assumptions and third party information yet information you should use in courtroom...do not tutor THEM TO HIM. tell him you recognize what he's doing and call the guy(s) he's messing with and tell him flat out "we now have not something to talk until eventually you commence telling the truth." he will proceed to disclaim and u proceed your agency stance. If it ability kicking him out or u shifting out to expose him u propose employer then try this. No lengthy convos or something. except he starts talking then you truly haven't any opt to envision with him. once he realizes how severe you're he will tell little stuff. Your objective is to confirm each and every thing u can. U do not tutor him your information b/c once you do he will basically admit to that and believe there possibly more desirable stuff that he's hiding.
2016-10-16 22:47:55 · answer #7 · answered by venturino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to be with a man who is lying to you, breaking a comitment he has with you all while risking your health? Do you know how wide spread stds are. I know it;s hard to leave because you do have his kid but honestly it's probably best to leave for your physical and mental health and esp for your daughters. You wouldnt want to bring her up in a household where the husband is cheatign would you? It can have serious scars on your daughter
2007-01-04 14:21:16 · answer #8 · answered by superstar77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you love him and wont leave. you want to work it out, if this is the case... and tell him how much he means to you. my parents split up when i was young. it sucks to not have a dad around. here is a link. it tells about why he might me cheating.
http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/infidelity_and_cheating/public/why_do_spouses_cheat.html
if it isnt any of these things, then talk to him, ask him what is the matter? try to help it the best as you can. not alot of relationships work anymore, but its so much better if just one works out than it getting ruined like all the others.
2006-12-31 13:41:02 · answer #9 · answered by caseyrae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Mikey Mike, and add that though you might want to work it out, it is evident that he doesn't. Dump him before he does bring some disease home to you. There are plenty of nice 'honest' guys out there who would like to see you (daughter included) and you would probably be much happier.
2006-12-31 13:42:59 · answer #10 · answered by J T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋