I am wondering if I may have some kind of subconscious issue?

Question

Talking to my beau last night, he pointed out that I don't look people directly in the eye when having conversations. I believe I do such a thing to refresh my mind of events and to give my perspective flawlessly, without error. He asked me if I had any insecurities, but as born-again Christians... he doesn't and neither do I. He suggested that it might just be shyness or lack of confidence, and then closed the topic at hand.

When I spoke to someone else I figured I'd enable my awareness of the interaction, but I found myself truly struggling to make eye contact. I could really feel this internal struggle just to look that person straight in their face... so now I am worried that it is a real problem.

Is there anybody who can explain my dilemma? I'm looking for a meaningful answer I can use, not one that is too logical and somewhat emotionless... I am a passionate, deeply loving person and I want to relate to the advice. Thank you.

Answer 1

usually most people do. in the world looking into someone's eyes can be taken so many different ways that it's a little scary to do it. in the animal world it is taken as a challenge to authority and a sign on insubordination and can lead to fights for dominance. in umans it can mean attraction, challenge, or respect but how are we to know which one it is? so it's perfectly normal to avoid it ,b ut most people take eye contact as attention when sometimes it isn't try looking inbetween their eyebrows or their eyes if you want to.

Answer 2

I also do this when I am intimidated by the person I am speaking to. For example, when I think a person is judging me and I know they are an insincere person...it is hard for me to look them in the eyes. It is not because I am lying like many body language studies suggest. I think it is just because I do not trust some people and therefore I am not going to give it to them by looking them in the eye. Although, I am far from being shy, I could see where it may also be a lack of confidence for me, even though others would not buy that explanation from me. good luck!

Answer 3

i have the same problem sometime.
check out WHO you were looking at more than assume its a problem of another sort.
it may be shyness. when i talk to ppl i havnt seen for a while i tend to feel awkward when looking them in the or feel that they might think i lke them or something if i look at them like that.
just try practicing looking at ppl in the eye. i know that sounds weird. it polite to look at ppl proerly when they are talking to you so naturally you really need to reslove this issure.
ask someone you have known for a while like a parent or bestfriend if they have noticed that you do this, when you started etc.
you'll probably find that they say you're overreacting and its nothing to worry about it.

when i do it i am still listening the person, i assume you are too. you just find t hard to look them in the eye. maybe its a personal thing and you find it too intamite to have that connection.

i hope this helps in someway. goodluck
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MDH.SA

Answer 4

when you listen to others, do you look them in the eye?? If not, then try looking them in they eye while they are talking to you. Do it in small increments at a time until you are use to looking at their face and then see its not so bad. Take deep breaths to stay calm and make it natural. until you can do it consistently, and then try talking back while still maintaining eye contact. Just sneek little peeks at a time, and then try to last longer and longer until you can have a full conversation looking someone dead in the eye for a few sentences at a time.

Answer 5

Maybe you haven't separated your self from being childlike yet. You are know a woman. right. In some ways it is an actual conscious declaration that helps us make the change. It could also mean that you are very trustworthy of others and don't feed off of body language and facial expressions.

Answer 6

In some places in the world it is considered rude to make such constant eye contact ..... just to reassure, but not constant .... especially between a man and a woman if not a pair...

Answer 7

It is good you don't Look in their eyes. If one looks in the eyes of dishonest, sinful, hateful or lusty people they can take on their qualities. It is said in the Vedas that one should never look in the eyes of these types of people. Also women should not look in the eyes of other men other than their husband. It is considered uncased. Go to stephen-knapp. for Universal truths. The World relief Network.

Answer 8

we owe no one who prys into us anything, they want to beat down the door and conquer, so as this on the agenda, it all so means that how we want to be received is dashed to pieces sometimes with other peoples eagerness to exploit, i don't take the b.s. unless i want to. privacy in first meeting anyone is no always tabling the same ingredients, it isn't that I'm saying you can't tell apple from oranges, I'm just saying how many apples do u want to take on at once, this was like a guilt trip to do better to meet someone Else's expectation, can make u jump in to his arm(faster) is what it sounds like, want to break all the ice he can so next time it is eliminated and he can go for the next head game

Answer 9

There are many possible answers. Perhaps you are intimidated by what you see in others. You might not be fully comfortable with yourself. You could be lying to yourself. You could have some guilt buried deep inside that you are afraid they might see in your eyes.

Fear is the root of it. You are afraid of something. Only you can come to know what it is that frightens you.

Answer 10

i'm exactly like you except im a boy. i think the reason for me not being able to look at other people in the eye is insecurities from my childhood. im not a very outspoken person. to me its not a big problem, the only problem it makes for me is paranoia - i get scared of what other people think of me when i dont look at them i the eye.