Well I was willing to just let it go until tonite--Hubby came home with a gift bag that had a cell phone in it--stupid me said "oh is that mine??" He said - Hell no!it's my new cell phone - costs $70--I might get you a track phone next week. I've put 30 years into this relationship--but someone's going out the door and it ain't me!!! Not just about the Christmas present--but today-here I am typing to strangers after he's been hanging with friends all day and is snoring on the couch. I don't ask for much----oh well ---oh I've got to at least ask a question ---- Can I be Sad and Disgruntled!????
2006-12-31 12:58:39 · 11 answers · asked by fallingstar 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I love him dearly but for the last few months I've not liked him--he just lives his life--comes home, eats and goes to bed. Weekends are the same--goes to visit his "buds' comes home, eats and goes to bed. Then wonders why I don't feel romantic!!!! I said I'm not asking for diamonds, furs, anything pricey--just a few moments with me!!
2006-12-31 13:11:38 · update #1
Yes l guess you can be upset about not getting a Xmas present, but does he do other things for you ?? I personally would prefer to have a good, caring husband all year than all the Xmas presents in the world. Do you hang out with your friends too sometimes ?? It's xmas, have a little xmas spirit and let him have his fun. Honestly life is too short, everyone needs to relax a bit and have some fun. 30 yrs is far too much time invested to just throw it all away. Speak to him about your concerns and l'm sure you can come to a compromise. Good luck and Happy New Year to you both.
2006-12-31 13:13:13 · answer #1 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got nothing and wanted nothing for Christmas. I got a happy and healthy family. Lots of gifts for the kids and tons of hugs from my husband.
It sounds like there's more going on in your marriage than lack of gifts and a hubby hanging out with friends. Sit down and figure out what the real issue is and then address that WITH your husband and the rest of the small things won't bother you.
Also tell him you miss him and want him to spend time with you. I know how hard it is when you get mad to NOT point the finger and bring up all the bad stuff, but it'll get ya nowhere.
For example, "honey I really missed you when you were gone all day with your friends, I'd love to spend more time with you" or "Here I am stuck at the house all alone while you're off having a blast with your friends". They mean the same thing, but will come across much differently when said to your spouse. The second choice will get you a rebellious, unloving response from your husband.
2006-12-31 21:05:44 · answer #2 · answered by mycountryfamily 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like there is something that he is going through that he doesn't want to burden you with. Not because he doesn't love you, but because he doesn't want you to be worried about it. Remember, men and women think and talk differently. If you would tell him about a problem you are having, you are looking for support. What he hears is you have a problem that he needs to fix. If he tells you a problem, he is thinking that he is dumping on you his problem and wanting you to fix it. I know it's ridicules, but that's the way we think. And regardless of what anyone thinks, there are things that a guy feels more comfortable talking about with friends then talking about with his wife. And the same is true for wives. Talk to him. Don't nag, but talk. Don't say you want to help, that's why he isn't talking. Remind him that he isn't alone, that you are always there for him, no matter. For better or worse. As for the phone, I wouldn't worry about it. Despite the stereotype about women, men also often buy themselves to feel better. Of course this is only my opinion based on what you have said, but I was a pastor and counselor for many years.
2006-12-31 22:45:49 · answer #3 · answered by Deus Luminarium 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, there is something really wrong with your husband. It sounds like he is trying to make you mad. You go out and buy yourself a new phone and you start hanging out with your friends away from home. Whats good for the goose you know. And yes you should be sad he sounds like a rotton apple.
2006-12-31 21:59:30 · answer #4 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will not say I know exactly how you feel, but I have been and still in a current situation very similar to yours.
I have been with my fiance for five years, we have a 7 yr. old, to this day I have not received one single mother's day gift, valentines day gift, maybe a total of 2 birthday gifts, and a total of maybe 2 christmas gifts, but they were one of the gifts that you just quickly go out and buy type deal---no thought put into it.
My fiance comes home and eats, watches tv, drinks, and will fall asleep on the couch and all.
He used to ditch myself and our daughter to go out drinking with his buddies and it turns out, he had cheated on me.
The best advice I can give you that started to kick his butt in gear was leaving him, then when I decided to give it a chance, I pretty much gave him his medicine back, if he went out, I went out, ect., ect.
2006-12-31 22:38:52 · answer #5 · answered by !?! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can, and you need to dump him. Getting gifts isn't why you got married, but it is a perk. It is a sign of respect. I got my husband several nice gifts for our anniversary and yule which are the same day, but I got nothing. This just adds to the list of things that are wrong with our marriage.
2006-12-31 21:04:41 · answer #6 · answered by Ruairi 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He has everything he needs. You make sure of that.
He is pretty damn selfish, self center and self absorbed huh?
I feel your pain. I treated mine good because I loved him so and then they come to expect it and give nothing in return.
Yes it is sad, but you have to honestly ask yourself, didn't you create this monster? I created mine, and now I have to move on if I want to feel like a valuable human being. Good luck honey
2006-12-31 22:21:59 · answer #7 · answered by Annie R 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Girl, I know how you feel....You must be scared to leave like me....I know exactly what you are going through...lol...lol
2006-12-31 21:08:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anastacia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I said this before...did you marry your husband just to get gifts?
2006-12-31 21:01:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
the thrill is gone.. mention divorce and see how he reacts... he won't want to lose his material goodies.. he likes things just the way they are!
2006-12-31 21:22:08 · answer #10 · answered by goodolelady 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋