My fiance left me when i was 4 months pregnant with our second child. he didn't want another baby and i didn't want an abortion. besides this we had other issues....such as him not being able to keep a job, not helping with houshold chores/childcare....etc. since the birth of our son, he has been begging me to take him back saying he will support me and our kids and never leave me to do everything on my own again. i have seen deffinate possitive changes, but i'm scared that if i do take him back he'll fall back into his old habits again. should i give him another chance?
2006-12-31 12:53:09 · 10 answers · asked by The Spazz 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's a tough one. I don't think anyone can give you the absolute "right" answer. If you think you can trust him to do the right thing, then go for it. You've gotta stick to your own guns here. Good luck.
2006-12-31 12:58:19 · answer #1 · answered by hiclaude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's a solution, being the guy is your Fiance, DON'T marry him------ No.1. Not yet, anyway!
And yeh, like others have said on here, set the man "ground rules" .
Good for you that you didn't abort the baby! (Takes 2 to Tango) they say!
Now, being that you said you already see some positive changes, then you should put those ground rules "in place" to make sure he won't back out on what he promised you! Make it hard on him since he left you once already, esp. during your pregnancy!
It's good to give him another chance, YES, under the different circumstances though and see if he sticks with it!
You deserve it! If your Fiance can't live up to what he bugged you about, tell him there is no chance of marriage and leave it at that! Don't ever let him string you along, ok? Just keep him on his toes!
I'm behind you. You really need your man at this time and make sure he appreciates you and your children!
2006-12-31 21:19:32 · answer #2 · answered by julesrules 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't. He should of NEVER left you at 4 MONTHS PREGNANT with your SECOND CHILD! because HE didn't want a baby, and wanted you to get an abortion, no hunny I wouldn't take him back. You can do much better without him. You both made that baby and for him to leave you when you were in a time when you really needed him, that is definately a no-no. I would not take him back no matter what and how much he shows that he has "CHANGED." Good luck.
2006-12-31 21:01:35 · answer #3 · answered by vwbabe7463 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, Maybe. I would say some preliminary requirements would be:
1. Does he have a job? How long has he been there?
2. Is he supporting his children?
3. What positive plans has he put in place to keep a job and not fall back into his old habits?
4. Is he saving some money so you will not be broke?
2006-12-31 20:59:03 · answer #4 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you see these changes and I you LOVE him then yes you should give him another chance. Guys can be so stupid when they get scared, thats why they leave and not chose to talk about things and work them out
2006-12-31 21:23:12 · answer #5 · answered by Rosie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its harder when there are kids involved, but easier too. You ultimately need to do what is best for your babies and put your feelings aside for now. If he loves you in time he will show you. You you to think of your kids becuase in the end they are ones who love you unconditionally and if you do right by them they will always be there for you too.
2006-12-31 21:15:24 · answer #6 · answered by wicked1too 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay people do make mistakes,so No. 1- Do you still love him? and No. 2 - If so You have to be able to forgive and move on because without trust it will never work!
2006-12-31 21:12:12 · answer #7 · answered by Momma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you and your children would be better off without him. Children need happy healthy moms. A mother is the most important person in a childs life
2006-12-31 21:33:18 · answer #8 · answered by smurf_punky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this were I in this situation. I would take him back but I would also let him know what it is that you would be expecting of him.. set some ground rules if they get broke you both go your own way.. and try not to sweat the small stuff.. No one is perfect if as you say you see changes in him ask your self Has he made them for me? If that is yes then he would be trying to prove to you that he is trying.
2006-12-31 20:59:02 · answer #9 · answered by mrs.mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read your own questin: I AM SCARED. Let him show you by supporting you and the kids for the same amount of time he has been gone - no sleeping privileges. If he is serious, he'll show it by "Working his way back to you, babe."
2006-12-31 21:09:40 · answer #10 · answered by Joe Cool 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋