I grew up with a father as an abusive, violent Alcoholic, my mother finally left. we went to her parents and her father was a kind calm Alcoholic (Drank several times a day a lot so not just social drinker), I married my wife and her mother and father I found out just gott back together from a seperation after violent abusive Alcoholic behavior from her father and her brother has been arrested for his 10th DUI this year. her mom still drinks and her father started again recently. I have not drank for over 3 years out of fear when my mariage started to decline. Now that I am separated and getting counseling and trying to heal, my sponsor wants me to go with my family tonight, New Years Eve after I repeatedlty told him I can't and I realize I just don't want to because everyone will be drunk. I am very uncomfortable with it. He says now is the time in a safe environement with my brother since he is not an alchy. I WILL try but AM I WRONG to WALK OUT on drinking ALCHOHOLIC FAMILY?
2006-12-31 12:05:03 · 13 answers · asked by bSquirrel 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have never been more than a trial drinker with my wife (e.g. honeymoon or vacation), I am sure it is what I witnessed that I have a problem with, but if I am pre-Disposed to the genes to even possibly become what I saw my dad do to my mom, hey, I aint drinkin jack squat and I am AOK with that. I do not get the reason I have to accept that others do, but then again, I've been told I am pushy and over-bearing so I will try anything for this healing they say I can have!
2006-12-31 12:12:48 · update #1
After showing up I felt a lot of pressure and uncomfortability more from others knowing I was not drinking. I was offered and asked to take a drink by everyone at the New Years Eve Party. Some of your responses suprise me, but I am loistening to it all, it is great input! I accept that people have free will. I will not say any one person in this party was an alcoholic or had the violent tendencies from alcohol use like my father or in-laws. I think that is what I learned. I relaxed and decided these people were there with my brother and their kids were very happy. I do not think this is the choice of activity I will seek to do, there are too many things and baggage associated with this. I pray for my wife Colleen and if it is her choice not to reconcile with me, that is her choice, not mine. I am saddened that she started drinking when I left as my kids are emotional because of the violence in her (my wife's) family that we have witnessed. I have to think where to go next?
2007-01-01 06:17:37 · update #2
I'm a 17 year old teenager and to tell you the truth my father used to be an alcoholic and very abusive. He would beat up my mom but then he quit after he got called to court for DWI. My father stopped drinking but my mom was the drunk now and very abusive. My father got cancer and eventually died in 2004. He was a good father when he stopped drinking but this affected us either way. 2 of my brothers are drug addicts and alcoholics. So is my mother and my second oldest won't touch a drop of alcohol. I am stuck in between my brother doesn't want me to drink but my other ones want me to and push me calling me a sissy if i don't. If you have an alcoholic family get out!!! It depresses you and makes you feel like S***!! Personally I think you are better off without them. And straighten up your life you are better than that.
2006-12-31 12:27:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I think it would be a wise decision. What I don't understand is why your sponsor would try and force you to be in an environment where there will be drunk people that you have a hard time being around. I don't think you should do anything that will put you in an uncomfortable situation, where you might slip up. I know how you feel, I also come from a family of drunks. I also choose to stay away from them when I know they are going to be drinking, there is nothing wrong with it, in fact it's a wise choice.
2006-12-31 12:12:28 · answer #2 · answered by purpledragonflyjrh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What takes position at the same time as the guy would not have an wide-spread drink? Can they function with out ingesting. Violence isn't an illustration of alcoholism only a difficulty with some drunks and how alcohol impacts them. Emotional instability is likewise not inevitably an illustration of alcoholism. in the journey that they could't be with out a drink and performance to drink many times is more desirable in all probability an illustration of conceivable habit to alcohol. relatives historic past and genetics play a large function in a persons potential to develop into alcoholic.
2016-10-16 22:41:59 · answer #3 · answered by dudderar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason why you have to accept the fact that others CHOOSE to drink is called FREE WILL, they get to choose their lifestyle just as YOU have chosen your's. You don't get to dictate the choices of anyone else. You might want to learn a bit of tolerance otherwise if you don't you may find that your wife and family has left you because of your attitude.
2006-12-31 12:46:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are completely right
and you shouldnt go
stay home or go with friends and have a good time
skip the family and go make your own family (friends included)
and being that you may be an alcoholic yourself (because it's inherited) you should stay away from drinking and people who drink
2006-12-31 12:10:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO actually I commend you for NOT wanting to go and to standing up for yourself. I am surprised your sponsor is insisting you go and KNOWS you do NOT want to do it. I would stay away from them and ask your brother if he wants to go someplace away from all of them so the two of you can have piece and quiet with this.
2006-12-31 12:13:55 · answer #6 · answered by grbarnaba 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all!
It is your best defense!!
Look at it this way...if you had the flu, and did not want to infect the others, would you be with them tonight???
I think not, because you CARE about them!
So!
Think and care about yourself, and rent some movies and stay the heck away from their alcoholic influence!
Blessings!
2006-12-31 12:11:18 · answer #7 · answered by susieque 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get some backbone and tell your counselor you said no you're not going and they can go since they think so much of this party. What part of "no" don't they understand? The "N" or the "O."
2006-12-31 12:08:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can not always listen to a Therapist.If you feel that strongly then you know what is a safe place for you mentally.Go with your gut.
2006-12-31 12:07:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why does he want you to go out with them if they are going to be drunk.i agree with you.
What i want to know is, What does your counselor say?what is his reason why you should go?
Looking forward to Edit to help me understand maybe my problem.
Thank you for asking question
2006-12-31 12:16:06 · answer #10 · answered by bri n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋