I've never really dated (i'm only 18) but from what I've seen, all guys seem to be such big jerks. All I want is a strong, loving man who can be mean and tough if he wanted to (but isn't) and who is sensitive and protective over me too. Are they really that rare?
2006-12-31 11:35:26 · 20 answers · asked by _____ 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Firstly, this is a personal development issue, not a 'gay' question.
Sounds like you're looking for a lover that resembles some sort of father figure.
You attract what you project, and you project what you THINK you deserve.
The question you must ask of yourself now is "What do I think I deserve?" Only then will you be able to be 'protected' by a 'sensitive' man.
2006-12-31 13:08:15 · answer #1 · answered by Ashley 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Such guys ARE rare, but they do exist. Unfortunately you are going to find more b@stards out there than you would ever think possible. However, never give up trying to find a guy who is as capable of loving you as you are of him. If you're searching for such a fellow, then you can be sure that he is searching for someone just like you.
2006-12-31 14:01:52 · answer #2 · answered by castle h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're still young, dude. Just put yourself out there and keep looking. I know it can get frustrating because it seems like a lot of guys could care less about more than sex and doing what makes them happy instead of you, but there are some amazing guys out there. the best way to draw them in is to demonstrate yourself the qualities you're looking for in others. When other guys see that you're sensitive and and have a loving personality, look to see what happens. It may not happen right away but good men who share similiar characteristics in a boyfriend will be drawn to you as a result. Just never compromise who you are. It sounds like you know what you want, don't let anyone tell you to change it!
2006-12-31 11:48:30 · answer #3 · answered by Paul 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The Short Answer: Yes, they're pretty rare. I'm in the same boat you are (never dated, would like to date that type of guy).
The Long Answer: Plenty of guys are jerks (probably b/c plenty of people are, too). Please don't ever become one of them. You presumably have a long life ahead of you and I suppose you'll be thinking of college and/or work. You'll meet thousands of people, and even if only one percent are dateable, that's still a couple hundred people. And even if only one percent of those works out to long-term relationships, that'd be twenty people to choose from for life mate. Don't lower yourself just to get somebody, stay who you are and you'll find that somebody and that somebody will find you.
And have a Happy New Year's!
2006-12-31 16:28:28 · answer #4 · answered by Target Acquired 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Focus on yourself and being happy with who you are, then you will dfind that the right person wil lcome along naturally. If you are not honest with yourself and do not love yourself for who you are though, you will not find the right person. Took me until I was 30 to figure that out.
As to long term relationships, There are a lot more of them out there than the short term ones, you just don't see as many becasue most people who are in those relationships rarely go out... no need to.
Also, a daddy is nice, but not emotionally fulfilling. It is like prostituting yourself for soem new toys, and the minute he gets tired of you, a new boy will be replacing you. (I've seen that happen too...)
Best of luck in your journey, and remember, you are still young, enjoy what life has to offer and don't worry about finding Mr Right, because when you are ready, he will find you.
2006-12-31 12:02:07 · answer #5 · answered by mresl2005 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes and no. The best way is to "be" who you want to be. Let your friends know what your interested in and hope they can be secondary look-outs : ) The more looking the better the chance and its much better than meeting at a club where alcohol is involved! Trust me, you will met him, because he's looking for you too!
2006-12-31 11:50:55 · answer #6 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, they are not that rare..but from my (admittedly limited) experience they don't seem to come around when you're 18...more like when your 30-40.
and Jim w is dead wrong...I know far more people in long term relationships than I do singles...I've been in one for 20 years...my brother-in-law for 39 years.
2006-12-31 12:51:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
their out there...keep looking and dont over look the ones that are plain .. they are sometimes the ones that will be the nicest and do the most for you.. also the one answer that talk about a daddy is right men in their 40s are the ones to treat you right
2006-12-31 16:51:16 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do hope so Tyler, as a fellow musician.
It's a pity I'm not 40 years younger, or I'd have been on a plane by now.
Still, I guess I can wrap you in a big cyber-cuddle. (*Hugs Tyler*)
Be strong!
2007-01-01 01:24:16 · answer #9 · answered by musonic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DUde, you realize your gay right?
YOu do know most gay relationships are short term?
Anyways, I'm gonna talk to you like you are a girl - The things you want are dangerous things. If you are looking for a guy who can be tough and mean, you're gonna find a tough and mean guy. If you are looking for a guy who is loving and strong, that's what your gonna find. Drop the tough and mean part, 'cause that's gonna get you in trouble.
Lastly, and I'm saying this to be nice to you, understand, you're description is desturbingly paternal. It might be that you have some needs unrelated to a sexual relationship that you desperately need to take care of before you go venturing into looking for a partner.
Trying to find a parent ina partner doesn't work out no matter what your bent. (And nobody thinks to themself, "Gee, I'm gonna find a partner to replace my parent." It's just that you want the same traights in a partner as a parent) People who try to do that end up finding unhealthy things attractive: like controling partners, or dangerously obsessive and jealous partners. It ends up being really bad.
Take care of yourself.
2006-12-31 11:42:23 · answer #10 · answered by jim w 2 · 3⤊ 4⤋