We have been together for 3 1/2 yrs and married almost 2 yrs. But we split back in Sept. We have 2 daughters (2yrs & 10mos.). I an trying to move on and enjoy my freedom, but he won't leave me alone; always harassing me, talking sh!t to me, asking me stupid questions about the past, and much more. He won't get the hint and leave me alone. Can I get some genuine advice. PLEASE!!!
2006-12-31 11:21:39 · 26 answers · asked by adeleighernandez26 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There has to be a good reason to why he won't leave you alone and that's his 2 daughters, I hope. It's too bad that your marriage didn't work out, but now you have two daughters who are now suffering for what you two have done. How can you say you want to enjoy your freedom, when you have 2 daughters to raise? You shouldn't be dating, you should be raising your daughters since now they don't have a daddy there for them.
If he is harrassing you, you may want to consider getting a restraining order against him, if it is that bad or if he is dangerous to be around....especially when you have kids.
But he does have the right to see his daughters, unless you put a restraining order on him. But he does have those rights and your daughters have the right to see him too. Guess you can make arrangements with him to have visitations somewhere else rather than at the home. Seek a social worker of some sort, they can help too. Wish you the best!
2006-12-31 12:11:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you say split, do you mean divorced? If you are divorced, you should have a child support order and a visitation order. You should not have to see or speak to him unless he is seeing the children. mabe you could arrange to have a friend over when he comes and he will not have much of an opportunity to say too much to you in front of them. Mabe a family member for support. Its obvious that things were not a settled for him as they were for you. He has unanswered questions, mabe about what went wrong. It seems that he still cares for you, and that is sad. Remember you will always have some kind of a relationship because of the children. He has not let go, give him some more time, he needs it.
Two people do not always move apart at the same time . The best to you and your family.
2006-12-31 11:34:54 · answer #2 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sure would be interesting to hear the other side of this story.
What are the stupid questions? Something like..."when can I see my kids"?
You say you are trying to move on and enjoy your "freedom" after only 3 1/2 years? Why did you get married in the first place?
2006-12-31 11:34:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, unless he cheated on you or you cheated on him, you both are the wrong. Sorry bout your freedom loving and such. I guess you both should have thought about what being married means and having kids means before you said I do or got pregnant. Now you have kids, so they have a right to expect you and dad to do what you promised to do, which includes making a good and happy family with their other parent. Frankly, if he is trying to make it work, I give him credit here. Just cause you dont, doesnt make him wrong.
Dont be the typical person of today. It isnt all about what you want or like or what makes you happy anymore. Those things went the moment you got married, pregnant or both. You and hubby have a duty to God each other and the kids to do what you promised. Now stop the crap, both of you grow the hell up and do what you are suppose to do. Life was never suppose to revolve around what makes you happy or what you like all the time.
2006-12-31 12:44:28 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Besides moving away, only time will heal a rejected husband/wife. Usually people are not in love like they think they are, they are simply hurt when they are no longer needed. In your case, I think that time will take care of your wounded ex. So far, for you everything is over but your husband is yet in the denial stage and it is difficult for him to conceive life without you. Being lost leads him to ask "stupid questions" talk non-sense and/or harassing you. As a person, you can be nice but firm in your decision. There is no need to grieve badly someone who is already hurt. After all, remember that he is your two daughters' dad. This is a new year. let life hurt him but not you, you will live with no remorse.
2006-12-31 11:55:39 · answer #5 · answered by alpha & omega 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact the local law enforcement that he is harrassing and stalking you. Then on Tuesday morning,contact an Attorney and file charges against him. What he is doing is stalking,harrassing,slandering,terroristic threats,I AM VERY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS. Call the Police IMMEDIATELY and keep your doors locked and windows shut. Do NOT go out alone while he is on the loose,it could be very dangerous for you and the children. I will pray for you to get some safety in this issue as soon as possible.
2006-12-31 11:26:43 · answer #6 · answered by grbarnaba 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him point blank that you do not see a future for the two of you getting back together and you will not accept being harassed or putting your daughters through the fighting or agrueing anymore.
Tell him from now on he shouldnt contact you unless it is about your daughters anymore. If he calls and it is not concerning them tell him you dont want to discuss it and just hang up.
Let him know itd be nice to be able to get along for your daughters sake and its time to move on with your life and wish him the best and stick with it. If he will not stop and is harassing you then you can get a protective order against him.
2006-12-31 11:42:02 · answer #7 · answered by hopefloats 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If its truly over for you then make arrangement during visitation with the kids for them to be picked up somewhere you are not. make it difficult for him to see you which will in return make the conversation be less and less. Should he use the kids as the excuse to talk have a close friend or family member be the go between until there is enough breathing room for him to start healing. Sounds like he still loves you and doesn't' care if its good conversation or bad he just want to be near you.
2006-12-31 12:12:21 · answer #8 · answered by m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had and still have a marital obligation to this man and to your children. You took an oath before God and men to be with this man until death did you part, and your 'seperation' is nothing more than liberal irresponsibility to your family and to your children.
I suggest you put all the liberal nonsense aside that states that there is nothing wrong with abandoning your responsibilities to your marriage and you BOTH go get professional help, preferably with a Christian organization.
Personally, I can't see how most people can even live with the shame of having abandoned their spouse and their oath to be with them. I can't see how you can cause so much harm to your children due to your own selfishness.
2007-01-03 02:13:46 · answer #9 · answered by j70141 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋