I don't feel like things will get any better. How do I tell my husband I think i'm ready to call it quits?

Question

You can read the details of my question posted about 3 or 4 weeks ago to get a better idea of what's going on. My husband had a relationship with another woman, and we decided that we would at least try to work things out. I don't feel like anything is better. The following week he acted like nothing happened and even asked what was wrong when I cried. I am still having a lot of trouble coping with this. I have nightmares about him with another woman, I worry every time he is on the phone, or could be on the phone, or on the internet. There is just so much worry and anxiety there, and I don't see how it will ever go away. Things are right back to where they were before, and I can't get over the feeling that he will do this again. That's the worst part, it makes me feel like why should I try to change things, if we're gonna end up right back there and get divorced anyway...? I think these are pretty good indications that we are not going to work out.

How do I explain this to him without him feeling that I gave him false hope that we would work
through things, but really only used him to keep things “happy” for the baby for the holiday? I
honestly did want to work through things and thought that we could, but I just can’t cope. I feel
like this is just killing me. I have been through depression before, and don’t want it to get that far
this time, especially since I am now 30 weeks pregnant. How do I do this right?

Answer 1

Sweetheart, you need to seek the advice from a trained professional---quickly!!!! Asking for a 'poll' on the internet is not the way to help your family. Please seek help from a counselor, priest, pastor--someone, anyone with professional training in family/marriage counseling.

Answer 2

You can ask all the people in the world what to do about your delima, but only you get to choose which one you do. You have to have an uninterrupted discussion with him about what is happening and what you are thinking. You can't expect him to read your mind or know what you are thinking. It doesn't work that way. I say to pray for an answer.. follow your heart. The answer will come. God Bless you in your decision!

Answer 3

Get a lawyer and start the process. Write him a letter about how you feel, but don't get all pissed off, that'll cost you ALOT of bucks in litigation down the road. Let him know you're hurt, and follow your lawyers advice. Take the moral high ground and stay grounded by keeping in contact with your friends.

Answer 4

Sit him down and explain it nicely.
Just tell him "I thought we could work this out, I thought I could get past it, but I am constantly worried that it will happen again"
Be gentle don't yell.
say things like:
"I am in constant fear you are going to do it again and cant live like this"
"I promised I would try and I swear I have but it is always on my mind I need to be able to get it out of my mind."

Answer 5

The best way to let him know it's over is to serve him divorce papers at work and change the locks before he gets home.

Answer 6

talk to him right away and be totally honest with him. tell him its over. divorce is not so unsual when a spouse cheats. its the ultimate relationship killer. you wanted to work it out, but you just can't. then work out with him what needs to happen next. the separation details and the final divorce.

Answer 7

YOU REALLY HAVE A TRUST ISSUE TIME IS SUPPOSE TO HEAL WOMBS BUT IF YOU DWELL ON THE WOMB IT WONT HEAL YOU MAY NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE BEFORE YOU THROW IN THE TOWEL ANY MAN YOU MAY GET WITH IN THE FUTURE WILL CHEAT ITS THERE NATURE ONCE THEY ARE CAUGHT THEY DONT WONT TO LOOSE THE PERSON THEYRE WITH THEY WILL TRY AND MAKE IT BETTER

Answer 8

YES I WOULD SAY SO
LEAVE HIM
YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE BETTER