Do I have a right to meet ex's girlfriend?

Question

My boyfriend of 5 years and I broke up in early October. We have a three year old daughter. I (thought) I loved him very much and got the impression we were still trying to work things out. I found out less than a week after Thanksgiving that he had a girlfriend because he was going with her on a trip and had to tell me that I needed to find a babysitter for our daughter while I was at classes or I had to let her go with them. (A woman I never heard about..apparently he knew her for a year from work). We were also intimate on Thanksgiving because I didn't know he had a girlfriend. I tried to be civil and just move on. I felt it was too soon for my daughter to meet this new woman but have let that happen before Xmas but have not let her sleep over her house. (He is staying in her apartment). I think my ex is an ok dad (could be worse) but don't think my child should sleep at this woman's house so soon. My ex thinks I'm crazy. Maybe I'd allow it if I met her- do I have a right to?

Answer 1

yes you have a right to meet her especially if your child will be going there for visits or overnight visits. You need to make sure you meet her and ever run a background check on her before you let your child go there especially for a night..

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Legally no. If your ex was any kind of gentleman, then he should have realized the possible problems here and would have you two meet somewhere,just for the sake of your daughter and also had your daughter meet her at the same time. Since he is her father, theres not much you can do in this situation except press the matter that you would like to meet her, not to start any trouble, but just for your daughters sake. This meeting should take place in open public where trouble is less likely to happen. You dont need to make a scene in front of your daughter or anyone else for that matter. Good luck and Happy New Year

Answer 4

Your 3 yr. old little daughter doesn't need to know ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, current, past or present. What good does it do her to meet all these people who are here one day and gone the next? Her dad isn't even real. You two never married.

Look at your daughter. Is she a little basket of nerves? If she isn't as yet, she will be soon. Does your daughter deserve a decent, healthy, normal good life? If she does, tell her dad to get home, marry you and become a father and husband or get out of both of your lives. That simple. If he says NO, then you need to raise your daughter until she is 18 yrs. old without a man. You have no right to introduce her to other men. Your boyfriend dad has no right to introduce her to other women. Kids only want to be instructed by their parents not a whole village of people. They don't want half dads, part dads or sugar dads. They want their dad and their mom and nobody else except Grandma and Grandpa. We treat our most precious possessions, our children, like cattle. Move them here and there and over yonder. You gave up your right to happiness when you acted stupid with her dad. Have you ever heard about getting married first and then having children?

I know I am very hard on you. Evidently, I am the only person who ever cared enough to be hard on you and tell you the truth. You don't have to listen to me, but your little daughter doesn't deserve all the men that you plan on running through her life. And the same goes for your boyfriend dad.

Answer 5

Wow! To say that you thought you loved him, but the one in the middle that is really getting hurt is your 3 year old daughter. So much chaos for her right now. She lost her daddy and now she is in a broken home without a daddy in her life but a mommy. Plus, you two were not married. Being intimate on Thanksgiving doesn't mean you are ready for eachother....there is a lot of growing up to do with both of you. This man is living with another woman who he is not married to. He played you on Thanksgiving and is now playing her. You let your daughter meet this other woman out of wedlock.....even if she is too young to understand it...she still knows that that woman is not you, which should have been. You should not let your daughter sleep over her house even though her daddy is living there. What kind of example would you be setting for your daughter? Your husband is not an OK dad, otherwise he would have worked out the marriage and made things work, and not have left his daughter and you. Your child should not sleep at this woman's house, period, because they are not married.

If I were you, I wouldn't even think of letting my daughter stay with her, unless they are married. If your ex wants to see her, you should make other arrangements to have him see her at your place or another place, but not at this other woman's home. I wouldn't consider on even having relations with him, due to the fact, that he had slept with another woman. You don't know for a fact how many he has slept with. Do yourself a favor, don't date anymore. It is time for you to raise your daughter now and move forward. Because your daughter doesn't need anymore chaos. She needs her mommy there for her. (smile)

Answer 6

Better that you meet this woman and have a talk. see if she is a responsible adult, and before you meet her, ask your ex what is his intentions for his new girlfriend, is this serious, because you rather not expose your child to a string of women. If he is now in a steady relationship then meet with her briefly to chat. It will be easier for you if you know who she is and if you feel you can trust her then there should be no problem, the most important thing here is your child and that your daughter has a good relationship with her father. I know it's difficult for you, but children adjust and if it's explained to them correctly and the environment is child safe (You have a right to go see where your child will be staying and if they have appropriate accommodation for her).
Good luck, happy new year.

Answer 7

I'm in a very similiar situation, and yes you have a right to meet her if she is going to be around your daughter. However you can't make him not take her with him over there unless there are illegal or unsafe things going on. Take care of your daughter and yourself, make sure she knows that she has a mother who loves her more than anything in the world and that she can come to you for anything.

Answer 8

Is it not his child too. Does he only get to make decision that YOU agree with. Maybe you will let him decide when it's ok for a guy to stay at your house with her there. You sound like a very self centered, vindictive person to use your and his child to try and get even with him. Once you are broke up, he does not have to get an ok from you to have a girl friend, and that's what this is all about.

Answer 9

Yes-you do have a right to meet the other woman that your child will be staying with-you need to know as much about her as possible-we are talking about your child-being an OK dad is fine but he should understand that you are concern about who your child will be with especially when he is not there with them and you are not there-tell him that you would like to talk to this woman before you will let your daughter stay over-be civil-he is where he want to be-just remember this is all about the child-I think that he should understand how you feel-a good mother always want to know who their child is with.

Answer 10

You definitely have the right to meet the woman. It's like this - you wouldn't let your child stay at a friend's house without first meeting the parents. Just because he is a good Dad doesn't mean she is a good woman. You don't know her from Adam! So yes, you should demand to meet her first.

Answer 11

I think you an absolute right to meet this woman and know who she is. She is going to be around your child and you have a right to have concerns. If he is unwilling to let you meet her, then he might have something to hide.

I got divorced earlier this year and we have a 16 month old. When I find out who my ex is seeing--he's never let me meet any of them and he knows I don't want these women around my child--especially since there seem to have been so many (at least 6 in the past year)--anyway I am smarter than him and when I find out who it is, I get a background check done on the woman and I have used the Internet to get her address/phone number just to gather info.

I don't think your child should be spending the night over there until you are sure this woman is not a danger. I may be over reacting, but it's bad enough not knowing what is going on over there--it's even worse when you don't who it's going on with.