my fiance and the father of my child really pisses me off sometimes these are some of the things he does tell me if this makes him bad. he wont change a stinky diaper. when hes over supposed to be spending time with us all he wants to do is either play on the computer (world of warcraft) or play ps2 for hours and hours at a time. pretty much expects me to do everything for the baby. he goes out and partys while i have to stay home and take care of the baby. for instance tonight is new years eve and he said before he was going to try and come over but now hes too busy working on the truck and his xgf and some friends are having a party and how much you want a bet that when they finish working on the truck they go to the party. is this right?
2006-12-31 09:24:50 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Forget it hun, you are never going to change him. Until he is ready to grow up there isnt much you can do but you can change the way you react to him. I say,
Dump him and sue his butt for child support. Can this guy really give you and your child the life you deserve? will he ever build a home for you? Will he ever provide for her basic needs...
My advice is to move on. It's a new year, make it a new start.
I have watched this situation over and over and over again. the result is almost always the same. One of two things will happen,
you will hang on to him, let him not take responsiblity for his child and let him walk all over you until you get sick of it or
you move on and make a life for you and your child that doesnt involve him. There are so many good men out there, dont settle for a guy who obviously for what ever reason wont or cant take the responsiblity..
Just my 2 cents..
Hugs
Jo
2006-12-31 09:34:51 · answer #1 · answered by kensjo63 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, honey you did the deed with the loser and now you have a child. You should of thought about protection while having sex.
Just because he is the father doesn't make him responsible or mature. You shouldn't have had sex with him, you were both too young. Having a child is a lifelong job, it doesn't stop while you play. You need to focus on your child,and quit whining that you made a bad decision. What did you expect him to do.
Most boys do the crime and don't do the time. You end up being the one at home with all the responsibilities. He wants to just have fun, which is what you should be doing but you have made other choices. He will probably find someone who is single, doesn't have kids, has no responsibility and get them pregnant too. He doesn't take precautions and lives his life in this state of immaturity and irresponsibility. What makes you think he is going to change????
Maybe you should try and meet someone who can give you the things that you need, stability, love and caring for someone other than themselves....
2006-12-31 09:33:59 · answer #2 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think God is giving you a window into what marriage with him will be like--I truly would rethink this whole relationship---If you are the sole provider and caregiver of this baby already then why do you need him around when he choose to make you unhappy?? You cant force someone to be physically responsible for a child --but you can have them be financially responsible --he needs to have an eye opener--tell him to move on and file for custody and support--see what he does with that--when he asks why?? Tell him he is more interested in everything else in life besides you and his child so why do you need him?? As far as the party?? What a jerk--show him my answer he deserves to see what the general public sees in him--LOSER comes to mind
2006-12-31 09:36:44 · answer #3 · answered by skizzle-d-wizzle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's a jerk like most kids are at his age. I stress the word "KID", because he sure doesn't show the maturity of being a real man.
He is still stuck in the mentality of letting "MOMMY" pick up after himself, and "mommy" probably use to let him go play rather than teach him some responsibility.
If i found my daughter in such a situation, I'd tell her to pickup and move home, go to college, get a degree, find a good job, and above all else get rid of the buy even if it involved divorce.
He will more than likely never change, he's going to act like a child well into his 40's.
leave him.
2006-12-31 09:32:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well there's no real telling to what happened after working on the truck. You'll have to keep us updated. But I know exactly what it's like to be with someone that only wants to play video games. I've been with someone that it seems like it's his life mission to go from one game to the next and he HAS to have a game to work on always. Just because he beats one doesn't mean he'll stop. He'll just find a new one. It's very annoying and he also plays World of Warcraft.
I am a female and I play this game and can see how it can put a strain on a relationship. The game gives you a false sense of accomplishment. It makes you feel like you did something with your time when it's all virtual. It's as poisonous as being an alcoholic. Playing games too much may make someone lose touch of what it's like to socialize with the people that mean the most to them.
I agree with Missy. This is a new year and a time to appreciate yourself. Cuddle up on the couch with your baby and help raise him right. It's not your job to raise your fiancee, that was his mother's job. And from my experience I've seen mothers raise their children on video games cause they were too lazy to socialize with their baby. Don't let that happen to your baby, but don't make gaming taboo because of the father.
I would maybe leave him alone for a while. See if he calls...if he does maybe not answer. I know it's not always a good thing to test someone, but at the same time if he does care he should be able to get off those games and spend time with you two. He is not going to get over video games just like that. It's an addiction, and it's hard to break. Try setting some boundaries of when he NEEDS to be there.
There are plenty of men out there who would respect you for being a great mother to a child...and even wish you to be the mother of theirs...and a great partner in life. A man should only have one mommy...and it's sad but sometimes I see far too many men nowdays think their wife is their mom too.
They sit and complain that we nag and treat them like a kid, but how do they expect to be treated if they give no respect, no responsibility, and get defensive and whiney over video games. I play hardcore, but if my man wanted to watch a movie I'd fly off that game so fast I wouldn't care if my character died and was sent to the graveyard. And that's how it should be. I hate hearing when ex girlfriends come into play....some can be harmless...truly truly harmless...others may not be. Depends on what their breakup was like.
There's been many times I assumed my man was telling me he was doing homework, to just go off and hang out with buddies, and lie. But I was wrong. We're in our 20s, btw.
Maybe if you have Wow or PS2 at your place, put a password up on your computer for 1 day and tell him your place is not for gaming EVERY time. Maybe sometimes, but not all the time...and if he does come over to play World of Warcraft for 5 hours straight, that it's his duty to change the diapers when the kid needs during that time frame. Make up some comprimise.
Some guys need a kick in the butt to get them in gear...cause sometimes i swear they're looking for their mommies in their women. Hopefully a few will grow up. Good luck.
2007-01-02 13:58:51 · answer #5 · answered by pizzagirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's an a**! You're stuck with a loser honey! Do you think things are going to get better after the wedding (assuming there ever is one)? If so, guess again! They will be ten times worse.. Get this joker to pay chid support and dump him like a hot potato. You deserve better!
2006-12-31 10:45:45 · answer #6 · answered by Johann 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Child support, New boyfriend and what better way to bring in the new year, but with the one you love...your child. Cuddle on the couch under a warm blanket with a cup of hot cocoa and cookies and watch the movie cars together.
2006-12-31 09:36:16 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's a bit of an ***, but mainly he just has his priorities crooked. Be stern with him and help him become a better man for you and your child.
2006-12-31 09:46:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is, and it's not you. Couselling and improvement or move on. You need a partner, not two children, and your child needs a good male role model in his life.
2006-12-31 09:29:59 · answer #9 · answered by mld m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is very immature, irresponsible, selfish, and definitely not boyfriend or marriage material. Dump him and find a real man!
2006-12-31 09:28:39 · answer #10 · answered by Joe Prosnick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋