I met a man in the Summer of 2005 and we "fell" in love and moved in together after a month of knowing one another, then married three months later and had our first child together in July of this year. I never thought that he would dispise my eight year old daughter and treat her horribly. At the present time he has become more physical with me to the point where I have ended up with bruises and broken glasses. Now the day before his 36th birthday I have had to call the police to have him removed from my home because he physically assualted me in front of my five month old son and verbally assualted me in front of my eight year old daughter. Now I feel fear, regret and sadness but at the same time I feel that this is the only way that I can have a more stable and safe home environment for my children.
2006-12-31 09:22:29 · 27 answers · asked by curious 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get you and your kids out of the situation now.
Please dont be angy but number one when there are children involved not only do you need to really get to know the new person for your sake but you should make sure there is a bond between them and your child as well. As a single mother you had an obligation to ensure and see how he interacted with your child B4 you even considered moving in and getting married. Your children are your #1 priority, this happened way to fast.
Now that it has happened get out. He has show his true colors to you and its time to fix the mistake. Now that you have called the police go to the Magistrate's office and file an order of restraint to keep him away from you, the kids and your home. Then go straight to Juvenile and file for full custody of the child that you had together.
If he treated your 8 year old that badly she may need some counsiling to get over it and understand that it was not her fault. Keep his butt out of the house and protect you and yours.
Good Luck
2006-12-31 09:29:02 · answer #1 · answered by just_trump_my_ace 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A situation like this goes to prove that you should get to know someone for at least six months to a year before you move in together or marry and unfortunately I think you found this out the hard way. You will feel fear regret and sadness for quite some time, but you did the right thing. You will get over him eventually. If you stay gone it will only hurt for awhile, but if you go back it will hurt you for a life time. You will never be safe with this man and neither will your children. I pray that you are more careful in the future about bringing a new man into you and your childrens lives. You are in my prayers sweetie. Be strong and pay attention to a lesson well learned.
2006-12-31 10:21:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is not a stable and safe home environment honey! Next he will be physically abusive to the children. Get out now. You and your kids are better off without him. Next time maybe wait a little longer before moving in and marrying a man. You hardly knew him and evidently still don't.
2006-12-31 09:36:41 · answer #3 · answered by Maggie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
YOu did right by calling the police. Now if he comes to bother you get a court order where he can't be around you and your children. ALso make note of everything that's happening becasue if and when you get a divorce you can use all that is happening to you and your children against him in court. If he left bruises and scars have to hospital or someone take picture of them and also take a picture of anything he breaks or briuses up like the children. He seems lika a very violent and abusive person. SO be carefull and tell your children if they see him stay away from him. So if you ever need to talk with someone just IM me anytime.
2006-12-31 09:28:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
wooo, you moved wayyyyyyyy too fast with this guy. Keep him away from your children and yourself. He is extremely unstable from what you've mentioned here. And I'm sure that there is lots more.
In any event, put your children and yourself first and move on with your lives. Get an order of protection so that this nut job knows you are serious. If he comes within a mile, I would call the police.
I am sorry that you are going through all of this. You deserve better and most of all, so do your innocent children. I applaud you for being strong and getting the loser out of your house.
2006-12-31 09:34:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Did I read your question correct did you say, a more stable and SAFER home environment. You better do some traveling and hit that divorce atty. yesterday. He Will end up getting worst everyday and you or one of your children will end up dead , because he has violent temper and you shouldn't subject your children to a mad man. You better get out while your able or something terrible is going to happen to one of you or maybe all of you. He is insane, hit that car and move on and hide from that crazy maniac
2006-12-31 09:39:43 · answer #6 · answered by Nicki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really don't have many options, but one thing to consider if you don't want to outright divorce him is insist on counseling and anger management, but of course he should be out of the house while doing all this, and you should slowly ease back into spending time with him, and always supervise him with the kids. Only time will tell if he agrees to all this, otherwise, get a good attorney, a really good one, and file the papers and make sure you get custody of the kids for their own protection.
2006-12-31 09:27:54 · answer #7 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Part of the process of the police removal will be a criminal restraining order. Don't let him back into your life, do what it takes to end this now for the sake of your family as well as yourself. And take a little time to get to know the next guy!
2006-12-31 09:26:48 · answer #8 · answered by heart o' gold 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, be sure your story is true, and not something you're saying to get sympathy. Then, once you're certain, divorce him, take your children and move to another state and find yourself a better man, who wants to be a father. Then marry him, if he propoes. By the way, you're not a single mother, until you divorce him. And you should be a married mother, only not until you find a better man- and you will, if you mentally allow yourself to.
2006-12-31 09:40:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Physical abuse is one of the few times I feel divorce is justifiable. You need to think of your children first, and get them into a safe environment. No one (man or woman) should ever put up with any kind of physical violence. Get out now while you still can.
2006-12-31 09:26:52 · answer #10 · answered by Peace 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋