i filed for diviorce in March 2006. he was served papers in August 2006. he did not contest my claim for full custody within 30 days because he did not want to pay court filing fees. now he will not sign the final divorce papers. he does not pay any support for the children because he claims he cannot affford it. he does see the children every other weekend and sometimes one night during the week. i would like full custody as i am the resposible parent who has always taken responsibility for there care. i also make more money. i think he wants 50/50 custody - though they will live with me full time and i will be the only person responsible for them financially-
what do i do? i do not want to give up full custody - also should i file for child support or will the court grant him custody if he begins to pay me support?
2006-12-31 09:14:04 · 20 answers · asked by quki g 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get a good lawyer and get it over with- it will be worth every penny. Your lawyer will be able to advise you of the correct legal answers of all your questions. Good luck!
2006-12-31 09:17:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Go ahead with the divorce, as if he were mising or contesting as he is doing. The courts will sort all this out and chances are you will get custody with some support, the house and he will probably get state mandated visitation rights. Now if he should be awarded spousal support since you make more than he does, you can offset that with the child support awarded you, if this happens. You probably cannot get him ruled as an unfit, dangerous dad so you could get him out of the picture so take the support and deal with the visitations if he even decides to do them. Once again if you two cannot work out the details outside court,then the judge will, but unless youve been charged with child or drug/mental abuse, you will get automatic custody as the courts lean awarding custody to the mother. Good luck and have a fantastic new year.
2006-12-31 09:24:39 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want you to have full custody cause he cares about the children. He thinks he can't afford child support because he can't see how he can afford anything above what he already pays.
I have been through the entire process. Just award him the 50% custody with yo as primary care taker. The court will not allow the children to be placed in 2 homes at 50% time. They need a foundation. This agreement will prbably be what happens no matter what you choose.
Then give the child support issue to the distric attorney. They will decide how much he needs to pay, get the judgement, and attach his wages.
A custody battle is never easy. The trick is to not bring the kids into the battle. They need to know that you both love them and this is not their fault.
Try to remember that you both loved each other at one time. The shame is that you have to turn a relationship into a business transaction. What's the conversion in that?
Just try to keep everything mature. Don't deprive the kids of their father's relationship. Just remember the money will be handled between adults, not children.
2006-12-31 09:27:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
If he did not file an "Answer" with the court, as a reposnse to your Complaint, then you can probably get a default judgment against him. Call a lawyer. If you can get the DJ, then it may not cost you as much as you think.
You will need to present proof of his income at the hearing to get proper CS, otherwise, you'll get stuck with $25 a week (or some other nominal amount)until you can show the Court what you are entitled too. The fact you make more money than does not factor in to what he should be paying as CS. I don't know how your State works, but here, in Arkansas, you could everything taken care of via DJ except any large debt issues.
2006-12-31 09:41:39 · answer #4 · answered by kathylouisehall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is required by law to pay child-support regardless of custody status. Thank President Clinton for this as he made child support a mandatory in escapable issue for either parent.
I'd add child support for the children, court will more than likely grant you full custody and give him visitation rights. Take that child support he pays and slam it in an account for the kids future education costs. you'll be glad you did.
2006-12-31 10:12:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the court, they will grant the divorce whether or not he signs the paper. Since you already have full custody, it is highly unlikely they will grant split custody. As for support, go to the court, they will ORDER it, he will have no choice. I'm paying for two kids on child support making 40K a year, so I don't feel sorry for that deadbeat. He will just have to get a second job and that's exactly what judge will tell him, they have stopped listening to "I can't afford it " excuse...he'll pay or go to jail or lose his license or both. It's time you cut away the dead weight and put a boot in his *** to do what's right. That he still sees his kids is great, but he has a legal/moral obligation to support his kids. Stop feeling sorry for him, you got divorced for a reason, remember that. Drop the hammer on him and move on to bigger and better things.
2006-12-31 09:20:29 · answer #6 · answered by bigbro3006 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Actually there are not many states (if any) that allow you to seek NO child support, they MAKE you take the minimum and he is required to pay at least that regardless of what his income is and if he doesn't pay then they take his drivers license and at a certain amount of arrears they actually send the non paying party to jail! I would not relinquish custody if I were you, he doesn't have to sign the papers for you to get your divorce, your lawyer should be taking care of this for you, all it takes is a court date where he doesn't show or give reason why he can't show. My ex refused to acknowledge any of our divorce, I had to run it in the paper for 30 days to show "due notification" then wait 6 months and go to court, he didn't show or acknowledge anything and the judge signed the papers.
2006-12-31 09:22:25 · answer #7 · answered by missyvixen1217 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh THIS is a good one! THIS is typical of irresponsible parenting, brought on by the feminist movement. NOW that the grown ups can't play well together any more, they are turning their children into a tradable commodity and then using the courts to support their hissy fits.
That will go great on the children, once they discover that the only reason that you want full custody is for the power and control over your husbands money and HIS rights to EQUAL ACCESS to his children.
Yep! You just keep doing what you are doing missy and by the time your children become grown mature adults and look back at what you did, and they will, because EVERYTHING you do in court becomes a matter of PUBLIC RECORD and EVERYBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO REVIEW, COPY AND EXPLOIT ANYTHING OF PUBLIC RECORD!
Yes, your children will grow up to realize that you didn't really love them, you were too busy trying to control your Ex-Husband with powers and controls over WHEN he gets to spend any time with HIS CHILDREN. Yes, they are HIS TOO!
THIS is where the destruction of civilization begins to take place. Here we have yet another vindictive woman attempting the power of God over another human, because she can.
Doesn't matter what the children have to say does it? I guess Mom just never bothered to ask them? Of course the issue of "Out of the mouthes of babes" doesn't count when ol' mom is on a power surge. She just want to keep digging her nails into ol' Dad and keep screwing him any way she can.
To hell with what is best for the children. EQUAL
To hell with EACH PARENT paying their fair share of raising their children UNDER THEIR OWN ROOF!
Make Daddy submit to Mommy! Yeah! THAT will teach the kids moral substance and maturity! Go MOM! Screw everyboy while you got the chance.
What bothers me is, just HOW did you ever hide the fangs and claws long enough for this man to get close enough to you so the two of you were able to mate?
EQUAL. Mathamatically perfect and it disarms the parent that trys to use their position or income as a power tool against the other parent out of spite and vindiction.
EQUAL shows to work best for the children's sake.
NO parent should EVER have to pay the other parent ANY money AFTER A DIVORCE! THAT is what DIVORCE is all about!
2006-12-31 09:31:03 · answer #8 · answered by gromeo747 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Unless you can prove he is an unfit father then most courts go with joint custody now. You do have the right to file for full custody but unless you have some heavy evidence most likely it will be joint.
The child support is an entirely different issue, he does have to pay child support if they reside with you on a daily basis. You would need to petition the court for a order of support and they elect to allow an agency to enforce it for you so you are not dealing with it directly. This way he would have to sent the payment to them and they deal with it if its not received.
2006-12-31 09:20:04 · answer #9 · answered by just_trump_my_ace 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hire an attorney and file a child support claim against him. The court will laugh at his excuse as to why he doesn't want to pay child support. He'd be lucky if a judge didn't cuss him out.
2006-12-31 10:02:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im a recently divorced father of a 4yr old so i understand what you're going through.Laws are different in my part of the world but parenting etc is more or less the same everywhere,im just telling you what i did and hope it helps.To begin with my wife was really fiesty about the custody issue but i could tell she was just trying to blackmail me emotionally so i gambled a bit and told her she could keep the kid without going to court..believe it or not next thing i know she said i could keep her and wanted permission to take her on weekends.
Best of luck and a Happy New Year
2006-12-31 09:29:06 · answer #11 · answered by ytee 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋