and after being split for more than a year- he gets them 2 times a month- the ex girlfriend is already pregnant with the guy she cheated on him with and left him for-- should he move on? Is he being used as the baby sitter or the back up plan? -- its my friend I am talking about here.
2006-12-31 08:20:44 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is tricky. If if the children developed that sort of bond with him then it would do them harm to break it and this is NOT the kids fault at all.
The mother might be using him as a babysitter, but the kids are not. If they are calling him daddy then that is all they know. A Daddy is not just formed from being the biological "dad"
If he loves the children and they love him then more power to him for stepping up and continuing the relationship with them.
2006-12-31 08:26:52 · answer #1 · answered by just_trump_my_ace 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is called a bad parent in my book. Her most important concern in life should be her kids! It bugs me when so called mothers do this crap. A parent is supposed to be setting an example for their kids! What, she actually thinks her kids don't realize this guy isn't their natural father. He might be treating them OK, but what happens when he meets someone else and falls in love, and doesn't want those kids around NO more? What about the poor kids feeling than? Now she has a belly full again? Your friend needs to grow up, and get her priorities together. Once she had kids, it was NO more about her, it's about the kids-and their happiness. Yes the guy needs to move on. But your friend also needs to start acting like a responsible mother or give the children to their natural father. Children need stability and security in their life-day in and out!
2006-12-31 16:40:24 · answer #2 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The way you worded the header of your question, I thought the kids were yours. Ok, apparently, the kids don't have their father, due to a divorce and they want a father. So this ex bf, who should be either a current bf or a husband, enters their lives, and their mother's life, then they gradually got to the point, where they like him enough, to call him "daddy" out of respect, and wanting him to be their father. It's their way of telling their mother something. And since he obviously doesn't mind them calling him that (they wouldn't have started with out asking him), he likes the idea. Clearly, the kids are saying, "mother, this is the guy for all of us. Marry him!". But will she listen and make their wish come true, or dissapoint them? That's the real question in this all scenario. She should marry him for their sakes. You didn't say if their mother is the cheating ex gf or not. But I can't help wonder if, their mother is you.
2006-12-31 16:33:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he cares about the kids and they care about him, then who cares what her motives are? As long as your friend doesn't feel taken advantage of, let it go. Good for him for maintaining contact with them. He's moved on from her, but a relationship with children isn't something you can (or should) really "move on" from.
2006-12-31 16:31:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he loves the kids and loves spending time with them. Kudos to him! Therefore, I’m sure he doesn’t consider it ‘babysitting’. Leave your friend alone and let him make his own decisions.
2006-12-31 16:39:12 · answer #5 · answered by kp 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is not responsible for her children, and it is best to move on when someone has hurt u, and not have contact with her or her kid's. as the past needs to be in the past, and as long as we are connected to the past we can't move on to the future. she is keeping him in her life either as a babysitter or if the new relationship doesn't work out, she can go back with him.
2006-12-31 18:08:06 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Legally he is not responsible for the kids, but if it is working out, then let it go on
2006-12-31 16:23:32 · answer #7 · answered by tiggerluvbug72 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is the one who needs to wonder of such things. If he does NOT wonder, than it's not a concern. If it affects YOU, then it's your concern, and you need to speak to him about it.
2006-12-31 16:27:42 · answer #8 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I admire him staying connected to the two children for their sake.
2006-12-31 16:23:54 · answer #9 · answered by Raven 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
huh?
2006-12-31 16:28:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋