seems unappropiate to me?

Question

last week i was asked to go with my g/f to the dermatologist for her to be "checked " for moles what seems strange to me was first she was asked to dis-robe then during the exam the doctor asked for my help in basicilly holding her buttocks apart so he could see better. he looked everywhere with my help is this normal or a little overboard thanks

Answer 1

It would be inappropriate if he was alone in the room with her. Seems ok, especially if you were there. A nurse would have been better though.

Answer 2

If I was paying a Dentist to clean my teeth, I would want all of them cleaned. If I were paying a barber to cut my hair, I would want all of them cut.

Personally, I think your Doctor did a conscientious and thorough exam. I think he should probably be commended. If anything, he should have had a nurse assist him rather than you.

I have been known to say, "I don't have a dog in this fight" meaning the discussion or debate means nothing to me.

In this case I think you have a dog in this fight. You are a man not used to having some other man inspecting your girlfriend’s naked body. Just don't loose sight of the Doctor's job. And, do you think you might feel differently if the Dr. had been a woman? I'm not trying to hammer you; on the contrary I know exactly how you feel. I was with my wife when our fourth child was born. I found out after the fact that a man I believed to be a Dr. was in fact a nurse and he was checking her dilation. I wondered if it was a little more frequently than was necessary.

We are men both men who feel a need to protect our loved ones. It isn't a bad thing, it is just something we have to set aside once and a while in order for our loved ones to get the best possible treatment.

I hope this takes the edge off of the situation. It would have been easy for the Dr. to do a quick once over and miss a malignancy in some private place. I.E. he did good, and you let him live. Congratulations to all.

Answer 3

I have never heard of this before. Normally people go to dermatologists when they have one or more moles they want examining. In such consultations the doctor would only look at the affected area and maybe other similar areas (eg if you have a mole on a shoulder they would check the other and back too). As the main cause of skin cancers is UV and the bum is usually always protected from sunlight it is not an area to go checking without a good reason such as you or her spotting something and reporting it. I'd be tempted to take the matter to the hospital complaints officer for investigation.

Answer 4

Your girl friend is entitled to have another person present during the exam although usually the choice is the nurse or a female relative or friend. You also have the same right if you feel uncomfortable about having a doctor check you out in the nude. He should have been able to conduct the exam without your assistance. Ask your girl friend about her thoughts on the exam. It's how she felt that is the important thing.

Answer 5

That seems inappropriate.

Disrobing is probably standard, since they check your skin, but he shouldn't have been checking the inside of her buttocks--that's the protologist's or gynecologist's job. The skin in there is different, not somewhere where moles would grow.

Next time she should go to a female dermatologist.

Answer 6

Yes it is inappropriate for a profesional to ask a layman for help.It could simply be that he was checking for moles(though he could have looked one side at a time)but unless she has a history in her family of cancerous moles I'd wonder why he was being so through.He should have asked the nurse for assistance.

Answer 7

Dang seems the two of you could have done the job and saved a Dr's bill sure he enjoyed it does seem a little unprofesional and inappropriate but guess ya would have had to say something like I don't think so or don't you have a nurse or maybe he could tell yall wuz lovers.

Answer 8

Invasive, but normal, actually it's good that he was being so through, cancerous moles can be in places that you would not normally check. Also, it was conciderate of him to have you touch the most intimate area, because she would be more comfortable with you touching her bottom, than have him do it, I think he sounds like a good doctor.

Answer 9

The Doctor should have never asked you to assist in the exam. He has a nurse to do that. That isn't normal at all.

Answer 10

If she has a history in her family of skin cancer, than yes, that could be appropriate. She can't see between her own cheeks, although the doctor should have asked her to do that for him.