is there any way that i can let my wife take on a lover but minimize the chance of her leaving me for the other?
like, just let her have a boy toy and nothing else?
2006-12-31 06:59:57 · 29 answers · asked by w0t_b0t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is a huge risk since for many women sex is very emotional and she may form an attachment to someone else. I think a bigger problem is why you would be considering this.
2006-12-31 07:02:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beyond the initial shock of your question and why you would accept this, the words "Let Her" and "Nothing Else" are a worrysome as well.
How much control do you plan on asserting over your wife and why? I would suspect that if you wife is going to 'Take on" a lover that it should be you and if its not you then it is probably something she's probably going to do despite what you "Let her" do. Why would you accept this? Most marriages include the concept of being faithful to each other and breaking this is usually a deal breaker.
Concerning the controlling words, I think a good first step is to ask yourself whether or not you own your wife or if you have choosen to share your life with her. Assuming you didn't buy her at a market and keep her in a kennel then I would back off the controlling words and consider whether or not you love you wife, can invest yourself in her and your family and how badly introducing a third party would destroy that relationship.
2006-12-31 15:11:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW!!!!! It would take someone very special and trusting to allow something like this in a marriage.
Assuming that this is what you both want, it COULD be a good thing,but the chances are that it will only end up resulting in destruction of your marriage.
I would think that the better thing to do is for both of you to sit down and talk about why either of you would want to introduce this into your lives. I think you two will find out what's causing this line of thought and will resolve the issues. If you can't find the answers this way, then get to counseling and let it work for you two.
2006-12-31 15:34:08 · answer #3 · answered by kamikaze_4021 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would have no control over any emotional attachment that might develop between them. There are no guarantees. Play together (even if you want to add another party or couple) but I would never suggest okaying either party to take a lover of their own.
2006-12-31 15:03:40 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you out of your mind???
If she wants another 'lover' let her go have one as far away from you as possible. What do you want to deal with all that hassle for? You can't make someone 'not leave' no matter what you do, if she wants to go, she's going to go, nothing you do, no allowances you make, no begging, pleading or bending over backwards will stop it.
If she wants someone else, you've lost her already so your best option is to let her go, do your grieving and get on with your life with someone who wants you for you.
2006-12-31 15:03:12 · answer #5 · answered by jaynic72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all it works for men to have a toy and nothing else. As for women, there is an emotional attachment so be ready for anything to happen if you agree.
2006-12-31 15:06:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smoky the Bear would tell you sir...."DON'T PLAY WITH FIRE"! This would certainly qualify has fire and you'd be commiting the arsen!! I understand being bored in the bedroom.. we all go through that. I bet your wife is much younger than you. You failed to mention your ages....your trying to keep her sexually gratified and still want to have her on your arm. It won't last if you allow it. Try sharing porn together, toys, etc. Be careful!!!
2006-12-31 15:07:39 · answer #7 · answered by Hear2Help 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really think she will stop at one? One is never enough, according to any woman I know who's been been given license by a husband to put out for another man. I'd advise you to move on. If you have to settle for this kind of life, you're better off alone.
2006-12-31 15:06:54 · answer #8 · answered by Jeff W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If its a mutual agreement between the two of you and you are not able or willing to please her any longer, than let her have the physical activity. If its only sexual than she is not leaving you, but chances are, that if she hangs out with the other guy other than the sex, she might develop feeling for him.
2006-12-31 15:04:04 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is no one way of doing things.Every marriage is different and may be yours is a little different from normal.If you both are matured and you think it will not affect your marriage then go ahead.
2006-12-31 16:58:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋