Hiding behind a mask
Unable to carry out the simplest task
Wounded and healthy
Lazy and stealthy
Sleep
Sleep a little while
Hiding from yourself
Keeping your thoughts on a shelf
Clueless and suspicious
Pleasant and vicious
Think
Think for a little while
2006-12-31 06:58:41 · 11 answers · asked by vera lynn 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
As a reader of many great poets I wont lie it's not that great, but you sound very young so dont quit. Everyone started somewhere.
2006-12-31 07:07:44 · answer #1 · answered by digby_by 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really like it... I think it feels unfinished though, write some more verses! How about starting one with "Hiding from the world" and ending tht verse with "cry, cry for a little while."
:)
2006-12-31 07:01:49 · answer #2 · answered by April 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's pretty good! Sounds like you're talking about a person with depression which I am & know several more of. Are you, if you are~it is VERY good & insightful!
2006-12-31 07:09:22 · answer #3 · answered by Donna J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I must say a little bit unoriginal. But the rhyming is good.
2006-12-31 07:03:08 · answer #4 · answered by eradicate 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats pretty radical!
you might think about entering it in for some contests
and maybe add more verses
fabulous!
2006-12-31 07:02:02 · answer #5 · answered by ychismbw...kayla 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A bit dark.
2006-12-31 07:01:05 · answer #6 · answered by mountain woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not the most origanal. good try! add some more versus.
2006-12-31 07:06:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love it,,,Sounds like me,,lol...put some more on...take care..happy new year..
2006-12-31 07:06:46 · answer #8 · answered by CATWOMAN xxx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly i think it sucks, but thats just me, it sounds unoriginal and boring, then again we all have to start somewhere.
2006-12-31 07:01:13 · answer #9 · answered by d0wnward.spiral 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
beautiful.
i like it.
its dark, but i like it alot.
2006-12-31 07:06:04 · answer #10 · answered by MW saved my life. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋