Okay....you are on a New Year's Eve cruise with the love of your life.....?

Question

A great mystery takes place!!!! Can you write an amusing paragraph or 2 or 3 about it , that includes these phrases??
1. Let's see,now.....knit one, stitch three.
2. I have two words to describe this cruise. IN. SANE.
3. As if we needed anymore drama, a tidal wave is headed this way!!
4. Let's not,let's not....what's the word?! Let's not panic!!!
5. The captain of this ship looks quite a bit like the captain of the Titanic.
Thank you for pointing that out!
6. If you say that ONE MORE TIME, I'll feed you to the sharks.

Answer 1

'What a load of old rubbish' Murphy complained once more 'but we have not seen a single person on board who is under 70. Even the Captain of this ship looks quite a bit like the captain of the Titanic'. 'Thank you Mr. Murphy for pointing that out' I replied. 'Is this another one of your brilliant ideas like the Dude Ranch fiasco' he asked. I could not answer really, for in truth that escapade had indeed been a blunder. Also, a quick look around confirmed what he had just said. 'Bloody rubbish' he added. 'Listen Seannie' I was getting a little annoyed at his moaning 'if you say that one more time, I'll feed you to the sharks'. 'OK' he replied 'no need to get up on your high horse, I'm going for a pint'.
As he made his way along the deck to what I guessed would be the nearest bar, I strolled over to the deck chairs. I must admit, Seannie was right, for there in a row, about 8 women, all well into their seventies were all engrossed in their knitting. I watched until one old dear who reminded me of my old Mom, looked at me and smiled. I smiled back and approached her 'Hello, my name is Michael' I introduced myself 'you know, when we were kids we all used to knit, boys and girls. I was very good at socks. What is it you're knitting?'. 'Only squares' she replied 'we send them to the Red Cross who sew them together for disasters and such'. 'Mind if I have a go' I asked and she actually too eagerly passed the needles and wool to me.
'Let's see, now.....knit one, stitch three, purl two' I then stamped my foot onto the deck and said 'Darn it, I just dropped a couple of stitches. The old lady was quick off the mark 'Oh dear' she added 'but let's not, let's not.....what's the word?! Let's not panic!!! let me have it and I will redo it'. We laughed and I wished her well as I decided I would join Murphy in the bar.
Sure enough I found him in the nearest one still moaning 'They haven't even got any draught Guinness' he complained 'I have two words to describe this cruise. In.sane'. I had a couple of glasses of orange juice and watched in silence as he downed several pints of lager. He was now in a better mood.
'Let's have something to eat Seannie' I suggested 'but first let's have a little stroll around the deck'. 'Gameball' Seannie replied and away we briskly walked.
We made our way to one of the Buffet Restaurants to save us the trouble of getting changed and helped ourselves to a wonderful meal. It had always amazed me at the quantities and the quality of food on these cruises. I have never seen anything like it elsewhere. Seannie's eyes, once more, were bigger than his belly and he was in my opinion, asking for trouble. I had noticed on deck that the weather was beginning to close in and I felt that a tropical storm was about to give us a surprise. I had not said anything to him about my fears.
As I made my way to get coffee, I saw three stewards having a conversation together in a corner and from their body language I sensed that it was more than a union meeting. I evesdropped on what they were saying and I heard one say 'As if we needed anymore drama, a tidal wave is headed this way!! What with the engine trouble, I reckon the Captain has no alternative but to make for a safe harbour'.
I must tell you about Seannie. You see he is one of the biggest cowards that I ever met and yet I have seen him take on far bigger men when he thought I was in danger. However, deep down he was easily frightened and panicked easily. It was for that reason that I kept what I had heard to myself. 'Let's have a look outside Mick' he said 'I feel like some fresh air'. 'No Seannie' I quickly replied 'let's have a quick lie down and you can have a good drink later on'. 'Fair enough' he said and away we went to our cabins.
I dozed off for about half an hour or so, or at least that is what it seemed like when the motion of the ship awoke me. She was rolling violently. I made my way quickly to Seannie's cabin knowing exactly what to expect and sure enough I wasn't disappointed. He was being violently ill with tears running down his face.
'Geeze Mick' he pleaded 'get us out of here quick, we're going to sink. I want to go home, I've had enough and I'm scared sick'. I knew that there was nothing we could do about it so I cradled him in my arms like a baby and he slowly began to quieten down.
When I now think back on those eight hours on that damn ship, I sometimes cry. Not self-pity in any shape or form but for Seannie. He was just like a lost child who could not find his mother. I had seen it many times during our long friendship - his fear of dying and yet when it came many years later, he never knew what happened. A sudden heart attack and he was gone. You know, he was the only man for whom I ever cried and that includes my father and favourite grandfather. He was a true friend and yes, I admit it, and not in any funny sense of the words, the love of my life.......

(after my wife of course)......

Answer 2

Shelia and Howard McDaniel were married in a small chapel 50 years ago on New Years Eve. As a anniversary present their three children pooled their money and surprised their parents with a New Years Eve Cruise to Alaska. Howard is a detective in the San Diego Police department and some might describe him as being grumpy. He is scheduled to retire next year. Shelia is the president of the knitting club and likes to take care of her grandchildren. She never goes anyplace without her knitting needles or yarn

The line to board the ship was long but moving fairly fast. Shelia was knitting a lilac sweater for one of her granddaughters and Howard was carefully observing all of the other passengers. When they got up to the boarding gate the steward being friendly asked Shelia what she was making. After a brief conversation, Shelia had to think where she was in her knitting. "Let's see, now...Knit one, stitch three." she said aloud, but Howard having been around his wife for so many years knew to ignore her.

They found their cabin on level three right by the stairs in the middle of the ship. Neither of them have ever been on a cruise. Shelia being excited wanted to to immediately explore. Howard was quite unhappy and let it be know when he said "I have two words to describe this cruise IN SANE". Shelia just kissed her husband on the cheek and slipped the door key into the lock. The door spung open revealing a large beauitful cabin. Their suitcases had been placed on the luggage racks waiting for them to be unpacked. After unpacking they decided to rest in the room a bit before before dinner.

When they entered the dining room they were seated at the captins table along with eight other couples. Will and Mary are in their early thirtys and had won the trip through a contest. Peter and Hank are brothers who enjoyed traveling together. Paula and Ben are married (to other people - can you believe it!) but go on cruises together. Finally there are Hawk and Romona a tired looking couple who didn't talk much at all. In fact it looked like Romona had been crying.

As dinner progressed, all couples sat around and talked, except for Hawk and Romona who both seemed lost in their own world. Shelia was done eatting and had picked up her knitting and was absently moving the yarn through the needles. All of a sudden Romona says "As if we needed anymore drama, a tidal wave is headed this way!" Everyone looked in the direction that she's looking and sees a very pretty teenaged girl heading their way. "Let's not, let's not...what's the word? Let's not panic" Hawk says. When the girl comes to a stop at the table Hawk tells all that she is their 16 year old daughter Sara. The girl takes the empty seat next to her mother, leans over and wispers in her mothers ear. Shelia sitting in the chair right next to the daughter could hear part of the conversation and the daughter was saying that she was sorry about something. The mother kissed her daughter and smiled and the people at the table resumed eatting their dinner.

When dinner was finished, Howard and Shelia took a walked along the upper deck. "You know, the captain of this ship looks quite a bit like the captain of the Titanic" Shelia commented. "Thank you for pointing that out! and if you say that ONE MORE TIME, I'll feed you to the sharks" Howard joked as he grabed his wife and kissed her.


Please forgive the spelling mistakes - I couldn't get the spell checker to work!!!!!!

Answer 3

Rose's Dream

Jack and Rose embraced atop the ship's bow. They gazed lovingly into each other's eyes. This was where it had begun. It was New Year's Eve and also the eve of their honeymoon.

"The captain of this ship looks quite like the captain of the Titanic." implied the observant young Jack as he drew Rose closer.

"That's impossible, Jack. He went down with the Titanic." Rose replied brushing back a wisp of red hair.

"Thank you for pointing that out." Jack sighed and tipped his cap to his bride.

"Let's see, now ... knit one, stitch three." the unsinkable Molly Brown sit upon the decktop.

"If you say that ONE MORE TIME, I'll feed you to the sharks." the young arrogant tycoon, Cal Hockley abhorred the sight of Jack and Rose together again. He thrust his hand inside his coat pocket retrieving a small squirtgun to his dismay.

"Let's not, let's not...what's the word? Let's not panic!!! " Cal felt a strong hand upon his shoulder and turned to face the Captain whom gave him a stern look.

Cal scowled at him in disdain and retorted. " I have two words to describe this cruise. IN. SANE."

"As if we needed more drama, a tidal wave is headed this way!!Fool." the Captain warned.

"Let's see, now ...knit one, stitch three." Molly Brown repeated once again. With that... as if on cue, old Rose woke up. She was safe and sound in a nice warm bed just as Jack had promised.

Precisely at that moment, I awoke from Rose's dream also. The waves lapped against the ship as I yawned and glanced over at the love of my life. He clutched a small squirtgun and snored LOUDLY. I wondered if he had dreamed of Jack and Rose as I had.

NAAAAH!!!!

Answer 4

whilst i became little, the family participants stayed up all night observing video clips and in the lifeless of night we toasted the hot 365 days. in the past toddlers, I extra kissing my significant other on the evening chimes. Now, I roll over in mattress and attempt to get some extra hours sleep in the past the romping and guffawing of toddlers tells me to stand up.