My employee who just started her job a week earlier took 6 days off for her mothers death? Is this fair?

Question

I hired a private sitter to take care of my special needs child. I'm not a huge company.

Firstly, the employee didn't ask...she told me she was taking a week off for her mother's funeral arrangements, then ended up taking an additional day off to get paperwork straight. Being compassionate I let her go, although it inconvenienced me severely. Since then, she has been off 5 additional off (total 11 days off) in the past 3 months, three of which was for her child being sick.. I'm starting to see a pattern. I am writing a handbook laying out clear guidelines for being employed with me, regarding sick days, funeral leave, etc. It will take effect January 1, 2007 and I will give her a copy to sign and date and hand back to me.

How should I present this to her? Give it to her before leaving for the workday? Should I discuss it with her in person to make sure she understands what the guidelines are? Was I too late in preparing a handbook or do you think I still have time?

Answer 1

I don't feel like your a business owner at all. Your probably the employee nervous of your actions and feeling guilty about them.
Do what you have to do ,and don't feel guilty about it. Your family comes first, especially when it's the health of a child.
On the off chance you are a indecisive business owner, your course of action should be quite obvious.

Answer 2

These kinds of issues should have been reviewed before a sitter was hired, but it is not too late. As an employer (large or small) you have the right to reasonably direct and control your employees, especially short term, "probationary" employees.

S/he has had problems in the past few month (death of mother/ illness of a child), these are things that can't be anticipated or controlled. Hopefully, your compassion will not label you as an "easy touch". I recommend that you have a "counseling session" as soon as possible. Articulate your concerns for the present, be clear and blunt as to your expectations and her responsibilities and obligations as an employee in the future.

Ask if s/he understands your position, and ask if there is anything that will or might interfere with those responsibilities and obligations. Listen to her comments, if any, then ask if s/he has any questions/ concerns about what you have discussed. Inform her that you will be putting the substance of the meeting in a memo and s/he will be provided with a copy as soon as possible.

I would also advise you against an employee handbooks. They have a tendency (in the eyes of a good employment lawyer) to become "employment contracts" and invalidate the "employee at will" standard.

Answer 3

First off I have a message for~outformen & stinkydog~you BOTH need to read ALL of the question!!!

As for my answer, I lost my sister who raised me~last Jan. and I was given ONE day off for her funeral and they didn't really want to let me have that!! I had worked for this COMPANY 6 &1/2 years at the time so I think that you have been very understanding & compassionate especially being an individual with a special needs child. Which this woman is suppose to care for, personally I think that you need to find another care-giver for your child!
If/when you do be sure that you not only give them the handbook but talk to them about it so there are no misunderstandings.
Give this woman 2 weeks (or whatever length you think is fair) notice, during this time find someone else! Best of luck to you with this whole situation. I hope that you have a Happy New Year in spite of this! God Bless you & your child!!

Answer 4

hello,
Well i really believe that everyone that is looking to be employed whether its by a small or large company knows that it is unacceptable to have that many absences. Even if you didn't prepare that handout earlier she should have the common sense to know that this is unacceptable.
I do believe that her mothers funeral is a very good reason to why she may have called out or asked for days off and even extra days off this is a very hard situation but I also believe that instead of saying I AM GOING TO BE OUT she should have asked before giving herself the authority to do so. I do think that you should talk to her before she starts her shift and explain to her the importance of her being at work everyday and how it inconveniences you as well as your child. Also give her the handbook and have her sign and understand it. If after this she does not abide by the rules then unfortunately you should let her go and find someone that will be reliable...Reliability is very important especially having a special needs child. I hope I was of some help.
Thanks

Answer 5

This is going to sound strange but talk to her and be empathetic and let her know you are on her side and take a " one team" stance.Put the ball in her court and ask her how you two can meet in the middle to achieve a mutual goal of her dealing with this change in life and your need to have her as an employee. You may want to talk first and then bring out the hand book. Also by asking for her input you can ascertain by her words and attitude if she is really trying to pull herself back together or if there is a lack importance in terms of employment with your company. Keep in mind this is the passing of a mother and not a grand parent or a distant relative while also balancing the importance of your employer, employee relationship. Best of luck in finding a resolution.

Answer 6

I doubt your employee knew that her mother was going to die just after she took the job. Not sure how effective she would be as a sitter if she was too focused on the loss of her mother. I understand how inconvenient it must be for you but show some compassion.

Addendum: I apologize, I did not read your question in its entirety. I think you are justified in telling her that it is not working out for you and letting her go. I doubt a handbook will change her pattern of behavior but it will be good to have for your next employee. Good luck with your situation.

Answer 7

it's not like you are the head of a major company where you have to negotiate everything.
this is your home with YOUR CHILD.
you don't have to ask her anything or give her a time limit on anything. YOU TELL HER what you want and how you want it. if she doesn't like it she can work elsewhere.
but, if i were you i would get rid of this one. you are in for lots of headaches with her!!!
find someone that takes her job, your job and the welfare of your child MUCH MORE SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it is my opinion that she seems like the kind of person that would not take care of your child properly anyway. be cautious if you keep her!!!
and as far as your handbook goes, you will be rewriting that thing many many times before it is finished properly. (lets not forget, dress codes, behavior codes(having friends over etc.) food that she can eat, phone use, housekeeping, etc. it will be lengthy to say the least.
i am a motel manager and i have rewritten an employee handbook every time i have a goof working for me. they all seem to find something new to screw up.
good luck and be careful!

Answer 8

You should have set up the guidelines ahead of time. I can understand a death in the family. Speak to her, explain the import. of having a reliable person who has good attendance. Give her a 2nd chance, but maybe after the 2nd/3rd abs.(An abscence once a month is resonable) warn her that you will be looking for someone else.

Answer 9

You are too generous. Get rid of her and find someone else. Every time you discipline her, put it in writing and show it to her to sign. If she refuses to sign, put that down - Refused to sign. I think a handbook is important, but if you are seeing a pattern she is likely to continue doing it. Cut your losses. Just from what I read, I wonder if I would want someone like this taking care of my child.

Answer 10

some of these answers are very cruel...I have a business and I expect ALL of my employee's to show everyday for all day...I realize extenuating circumstances and allow for them, but only in emergencys...I think your idea of a handbook is appropo for your establishment...I would sit all your employee's down and discuss the contents of the handbook and then take questions....you are unconciensely being taken advantage of.....good luck..and email me if you have any further problems