How can you build your confidence?

Question

I'm african american and dominican and sometimes I feel as if I don't belong. I sometimes think I am too fat or my hair is too short. I constantly try to lose weight but I never pull through and I'm aiming for a size 6 with measurements of 36-24-35. I feel as if since my skin color is darker than most people automatically shun me away and think I have a ghetto black hip hop way of life/personality. When the truth is its totally diffrent. I even tried to look for skin bleaching materials..I just really need to build my self confidence and I don't know how?...PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Answer 1

There are tons of people who can help you build your confidence.
First reconsider your thoughts about your appearance, do you actually think you are unpleasant to look at? If yes slowly change the things you dont like. Set goals for yourself like your size six goal. About skin bleaching, that is not a good idea. You need to only change some things, if your skin is what is keeping you from being confident you should try some affirmations:
stand in front of the mirror and repeat the following several times:
"I am a beautiful and confident human being and my skin is just as good as anyones."
Affirmations, when repeated loads of times, will help that confidence settle in. Its not easy to build your confidence. After being comfortable with your appearance start making friends and expand that circle of friends until you are confident. You will never be fully confident (no one is)but this is a start.

Answer 2

You should talk to a therapist about your distorted self image. Chnaces are you see yourself far worse then anyone else does. BUt just saying that doesnt change anything. You could have a mild emotional disorderlike anxiety or depression, both of which are easily treated. Also you need to find something about yourself that you do like or that you are proud of and focus on that. When you start feeling yourself go to that place where all you do is think bad thoughts about yourself, then you have to redirect yourself to the better side where you say,"I like that I am a good listener to my friends," or, "a generous or compassionate person," or "I'm good at ____________." Good luck to you and happy new year. I hope you learn to find happiness within yourself.

Answer 3

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. This applies to you too. The problem is not how you look but how you see yourself. You list your shortcomings often, how about focusing on your assets for a change. What good points you do have? Try compiling a list of reasons why people should like you. Work on this list often, so your mind learns to disassociate itself from the habitual negative thoughts about yourself. Practise looking in the mirror and focusing on your good parts--soulful eyes, or hips made for birthing healthy babies, clear skin like ebony night, and so on--learn more poetic language and apply it to you--it is fun! Eventually you'll be able to look in your eyes and with feeling say I love you Tishara, you are o.k. as you are. When you'll begin to love your Self more, your self-image will begin to change--you'll project yourself better and others will perceive this positive self image and respond to it. Good luck and happy New Year.

Answer 4

I use to feel the exact same way there was a point in my life where I felt that I was too light,my hair wasn't pretty enough, I was too fat and basically I hated everything about myself. What you have to do is put it in your head that regardless of what people think, you are beautiful. I think dark skinned women are beautiful and you just have to tell yourself your beautiful and believe in yourself thats how I became as confident as I am today :)

Answer 5

Confidence comes with knowing yourself, and liking yourself and being true to who you are. You base your value of yourself on your own opinion, not others' opinions. So, you look at your strong points and you acknowledge the things you like about yourself and you do things and act in a way that shows character and integrity and you make a positive influence on others so that you respect yourself. You do things that build your self-esteem, like conquering fears - and achieving goals. You listen to your own drum, follow your own lead, make decisions and choices that are in alignment with your values - you need to clarify your values and surround yourself with people who make you feel good, who support you. But most of all, you have to learn to support yourself - no one can do these things for you. It has to come from within. It takes insight and listening to your inner self and being observant and paying attention to what's going on around you and having the courage to be you. Don't let yourself be defined by others - you be the one to decide who you are.

Answer 6

confidence is a hard thing, sometimes the people around you can help but mostly its from within you, you have to truly know that your a good person and theres nothing wrong with your looks, etc when you exude confidence from within then other people sense that and everything else comes natural, its sad that people judge other people on trivial things but you have to start being with people that have better dispositions and appreciate you for you. and not for what you look like or your lifestyle etc.

Answer 7

Its really delicated situation, in point u should begin keeping ur friends close, I mean ur real friends, then u must accept u.
If u dislike yourself u never get ur self confidence

Answer 8

you probably wouldn't want the people who shun you as friends anyway. just try to be yourself and ignore those who try to shoot you down for no good reason. it's hard, i know, so keep your head up.

Answer 9

do some community service, that'll make you feel better about yourself by knowing that you helped someone else

Answer 10

don't worry
people treat you as of equal value
don't feel insecure
about your looks
you are who you are