My wife is ill and can't fulfill my sexual needs. I find myself wanting to look for a sex partner. I don't know how or where to look! I don't want to leave her and don't want to hurt her. I guess there are some women that would like a sex partner. Should we try to find each other? Am I being selfesh by wanting to fulfill my desires?
2006-12-31 06:19:07 · 43 answers · asked by bigh5586 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
next day after marriage
2006-12-31 06:22:40 · answer #1 · answered by evening_dewpoint 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A married person should never have an affair, period. Either leave your wife and move on with your life, or accept your celibacy until such a time as her illness allows her to have sex with you again.
You don't have "needs" (no one dies from lack of sex) you have wants...what is sad is that she's the one who is ill, what do you think she wants?
Stop thinking with your "richard" and be a man of morals and integrity. If sex is THAT important to you and masturbation isn't satisfactory, then end the marriage. You can still be friends with your (ex) wife if you feel the need to support her through her illness.
Otherwise grow up and do what you know to be the right thing. What goes around comes around...karma doesn't care if you feel justified in cheating, just that you did it. Those consequences are rarely pretty.
2006-12-31 06:23:45 · answer #2 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're vows did include the "for better or worse" part right? Well, an illness would fall under the "worse" category. Yes, you're being selfish.....you know damn well that you can fulfill your own sexual desires....BTW, sex is not something we "need". Do you think having a secret affair on an ill partner is better than leaving her? Or maybe it's just better for your public image....then you can appear to be a good guy who stands by his wife...awwww, isn't that special.
2006-12-31 06:32:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are being selfish. Your poor wife is not only sick but has a husband considering looking for sex with someone else. What sort of woman do you think would be looking just for sex? Would you feel okay if the situation was reversed and your wife was considering the same course of action? Perhaps you could consider putting your sick wife before your sexual needs.
2006-12-31 06:23:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat I have been without for going on 8 mths and have also had thoughts of cheating and have had several oppertunities but when it comes right down to it my wife is the only women I want to be with no other women turns me on like my wife I feel like she don't appreciate the fact that I go without and I get accused all the time of cheating and have NOT sometimes I wonder if there is anything really wrong and if it is just an excuse because she won't go to the Dr. I sometimes wonder if it matters to her that I am sexually frustrated. BUT I WILL TELL YOU NONE OF THAT MATTERS THERE IS NO REASON TO CHEAT IF YOU DON'T LOVE HER ENOGH TO GO WITHOUT THEN TELL HER OR LEAVE BUT DON'T CHEAT WHAT IF THE SHOE WERE ON THE OTHER FOOT!!!!
2006-12-31 06:44:11 · answer #5 · answered by hmwh_mwc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get your sexual needs under control. There is more to a relationship besides sex. If the tables were turned, and you were the one who was ill, would you want your wife to go outside the marriage for her sexual needs? Sure you would probably feel badly that you could not have the fun you once had, but you surely would not want her to go and share herself with anyone else as she once did with you. You have to get a grip ( no pun intended) there are things you can do to releive the sexual tension you are experiencing, you have lived long enough to know what they are. Do not disrespect your wife. find ways to be loving to her and with her. If your just a dirty dog, go have your fun. Your the one who has to suffer the consequences.
2006-12-31 06:41:51 · answer #6 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you really love your wife is the question if you do then you would stand by her side you would not even think about wanting to find a sex partner you can fulfill your sexual needs by your self or you can tell your wife that you what t5o leave her because ether way you are going to hurt her so you better think long and hard on what you are thinking about doing
2006-12-31 06:37:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you don't know me, but since you asked, may I answer you? How would you feel if the tables were turned? Would you say, "Well, I'm sick and can't fulfill her needs so I don't mind that my wife is having sex with another man?" No. You'd probably feel even worst about yourself on top of your illness. You say you don't want to hurt her? There's no way to break your wedding vows without hurting your spouse. It just doesn't exist. You made a commitment to her. Please honor it while she needs you most. Pray for strength to do the right thing.
2006-12-31 06:23:20 · answer #8 · answered by TP woman 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A man should never have an affair outside of a marriage for any reason even if it is life or death. A promise a promise. If you love your wife enough, you would put your sexual aside and be there for her. If you don't think you love her that much, then a divorce would work because then you wouldn't look like one of those lying, cheating husbands.
2006-12-31 06:23:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are selfish and only thinking of yourself and not your wife. No reason justifies having an affair. If it is that important to you...divorce your wife and move on loser. I hope nothing happens to you that makes you unable to perform sexually....or maybe that is actually what the problem is. Maybe your wife doesn't find you desirable anymore and that's why she won't give you any.
2006-12-31 06:26:03 · answer #10 · answered by digorbat11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think you are being extremely selfish and wrong for wanting to go out on your wife like that. C'mon dude put yourself in her shoes, would you want another guy banging her? No you most definately would not. Sex is not all there is to a successful marriage. Communication is the key!
2006-12-31 06:52:28 · answer #11 · answered by chris a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋