military connections and contacts?

Question

i am currently a wife of a united states enlisted security forces officer with the air force.
he abandoned me at a hospital four months pregnant, i have not seen him expect for chance meetings in public with his new live in girlfriend.
i have received no financial aid and need to know my rights. i have contacted the first shirt and base commander, nothing has been done. i know my rights and i know i am entitled to the difference between single pay and what he receives claiming us as dependants, but nothing is being done to uphold that.
does anyone know what steps i can take to make sure he provides for our son? he helped to make him after all.
he is using the money we could use on diapers and food to put rims and tires on his SVT focus. this guy is a dirt bag and needs to learn what responsibility is.

in respect to some concerns.
the child is his admittedly. there are numerous accounts of domestic abuse, through local police and base. and this is happening for no good reason. i'm sorry but he get's enough protect from the military without me being accused of doing something wrong or demanding money for myself. i want the money to raise our child

Answer 1

Darling, write letters to your "dear" husband's commander and first sergeant and be sure to keep copies for your lawyer, congressman, and base commander. Because we all know, everyone has to answer to someone.

The first 30 days that pass without a response a letter goes to the base commander. After 60 days, a letter goes to your congressman. No one wants bad press.

Answer 2

You aren't entitled to anything. Your child however is entitled to support. Have you filed for Divorce? I would do that. Your son will have medical benefits through the air force, and your husband will still be able to get base housing or funding for off base housing. You won't, but that is not what matters here is it. He abandoned you at 4 months? Be ready to submit to a paternity test. Sorry I sound non supportive, but if the first shirt and commander aren't doing anything about this, this is definitely more to this story than you are sharing with us. The Air force does not accept this type of behavior from its airman.

Answer 3

I know that the military takes marriage and responsibility seriously. I am surprised that you have not had a better response from the shirt and his commander.
I am not sure what base you are at, but that all could make a difference... Have you tried talking to his direct supervisor? What about the commander for the base? (I realize that the Base Commander is extremly busy, but he or she should be informed that his troops are not following through on their responsibilities.)
Since you are still legally married and still have rights to JAG, I'd try to contact them and see if they can be of any assistance (they are not usually very helpful unless you want to draw up a will or something like that, but it's always worth a shot).
I don't know that you'd be entitled to "the difference" he recieves in BHA and pay because he's claiming you and your son, but you are entitled to be taken care of.
Have you already filed for divorce? If so, your lawyer can file the paperwork for you to be sure that you recieve alimony and child support. Once that is estabilshed, the military will make sure that he continutes to make those payments. In the meantime, the military will take his word that he is providing for his child. Without legal documentation of a set amount of child support being ordered, they don't need to investigate his financial records to make sure that he is paying. So, it is possible that he is telling them that he is paying you child support.
In the military, troops are not allowed to date while they are still married. They can actually be punished for this. I am very surprised that, since you have voiced your knowledge of the fact that he is living with a girlfriend, it has not been investigated.
I would say that your best bet is to have the court legally establish alimony and/or child support. Now, remember, if a temporary child support order is established, you need to follow though and make sure it becomes a perminant order. I know of women who think that if the man is told to pay in a preliminary order, that means that's what they'll always have to pay. That is not the case. Once the temporary order expires, if you want child support to continue, you need to follow through with the correct paperwrok and be sure that the court rules for child support to continue. The military will not hold him on a request for child support that expired when a new order has been issued saying he does not need to pay any support.
Once you have the legal documentation saying that he needs to be paying child support, you will need to make sure that copies reach the shirt and Commander. (You should also make sure one gets to the finanace department. If he is legally obligated to pay child support, it changes his pay. In addition, they might be able to help set up a withdrawl directly from his paycheck to your account - with his authorization, of course.) If after the court orders that he pay child support he still refuses to pay and the military won't do anything about it, go back to your divorce lawyer and take him to court. If he gets thrown in jail for not paying, the military will have no choice but to do something about it. Men have gotten thrown out of the military for not paying their child support.
Be sure to find a good divorce lawyer.
Be sure that you can prove that he's living with his girlfriend (that shouldn't be too tough to do). This will make sure that he can't request alimony from you.
File for a divorce.
File the papers to recieve alimony and child support.
Once the ruling has been given, be sure that the shirt and Commander know that he legally owes you child support.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

Contact the base commander and complain about his officers that are not helping you. Your child should be able to qualify for Tricare, plus have child support payments taken out of his check, and you can seek all the pay that he received for living with dependants. Depends on how long that you were married to him as to what else you can seek.

Answer 5

Go to your local JAG office. You are actually entitled to half of his pay, as well as half of his retirement if he does a full 20 years. If they don't help, look in your phone book for legal assistance. If you are near a base there are bound to be plenty of Lawyers who have experience with this kind of matter, and first consults are usually free. Good Luck!

Answer 6

you file for divorce, you file for custody of the child and child support.

Once you get court ordered child support, you serve the military with that order and they hold the money out of his pay.