If most men are selfish, why most fathers are not ?

Question

The Best Answer will be decided by vote to show respect to the majority. So, please come back later and vote the best answer.

Answer 1

We are all born with a strong survival instinct, but in the long run -- for all of us -- survival is not an option.

At some points in our lives, if we are lucky, this becomes clear, and we start to act on it by allocating resources less selfishly. We realize that our actions during our lives will determine the values and fates of those we love.

I was fortunate to be there when my son was born and the best way I can describe the experience is that from he moment he first looked at me, he owned my heart. It was like when I first met my wife. Under those circumstances I cannot live for myself, it would be a huge step backwards into a much less satisfying existence.

Answer 2

I agree with the respondent above. I don't even see the premise behind the question. Assuming most men are selfish, why would they change after they donate sperm? If they have made a commitment to the mother of their children and their joint offspring, that the children would come first, then maybe it would be different. As it is, there are too many men who have created children through an arbitrary sexual encounter who are perfectly selfish. Good grief, there's a whole fathers rights movement trying to exempt men from child support or any responsibility to the children, much less the mother.

Answer 3

The process of courtship and marriage is the main cause of it. Women judge human worth by sacrifice, and men judge worth by achievement. When alone, a man seems selfish due to his ambition to achieve and look what he believes is worthy in the eyes of others. When he meets a woman, he realizes his former beliefs don't work, and to the woman, sacrifice is most important. So a man must be willing to sacrifice his most valueable asset to impress a woman: time. He must be willing to give his time staying away from work and his own selfish interests to be willing to spend time with his girfriend (and wife, if he's lucky.) So a father has to be unselfish just to get married and have children in the first place. Those who feel their father was selfish witnessed a marriage who's love and communication dissolved, leading to both spouses seeming selfish and distant.

Answer 4

It is hard to say why. Maybe some people get lucky. Like i did. My father would of done anything for me he was the best thing in my life I want to live by the example he showed me and hope that someday i can be at least half the person he was.If he was selfish to others I never saw it.He never feel of the pedestal I put him on.

Answer 5

I think it kind of depends on what kind of man you're talking about. A single man can be selfish because he has to fend for himself and he may want to be independent and isn't ready to settle down which is why he chooses to be single, a married man can choose whether or not to be selfish with his mate, but a father isn't selfish because he wants to set an example for his child showing them how to care and share for their siblings, their friends, and the world in general.

Answer 6

Because not all men are fathers.

Not all sperm donors are fathers, in the moral sense. Several of your respondents nailed that one.

Real fathers are selfless, giving to the point of sacrificing, model their values, and make mistakes.

Answer 7

It isn't really correct to say selfish men aren't selfish fathers. They'll give their children everything they want them to have, certainly.

Answer 8

Whoever bashes Men or Women are speaking about their own experiences....Do not get carried away....only good men can make good fathers like good women , mothers....

The days are over for all those short-sighted and 'want to sound hip' king of language....grow up and be fair....

Answer 9

men are not selfish boys are .there are many boys that are fathers and in not being selfish to there kids they are showing signs of growing into men .

Answer 10

I agree men are selfish, though I have found a few that weren't, until you get right down to it, but fathers are not, because they love their children more then they love themselves.