My husbands ex wife keeps calling him on his cell phone?

Question

She left him for another man and there kids are grown men. However 6 months ago I found her cell phone # in his wallet. He said that his son gave it to him. Then 3 months ago she called and left a message on his cell to call her at work. I was so upset so I suggested that we call her together and find out want she wanted. He replied that I could call her and stated that he didn't know what she wanted and didn't want to talk to her. So i called her and asked her if Joe ever got hold of her and did she want to talk to him and she said he called her already, so I caught him in a lie. He said that he called to tell her that she did not need to call him and it was a real problem. I kept his cell phone and nothing happened untill 2 days ago and she called again. and I suggested that we call her together and set my mind at ease that nothing was going on with the two on them and he refused. He wante to wait an call the following day (we have had no intimacy in months)

Answer 1

NOTHING to it , huh? YEAH, right! We BOTH know better! No intimacy in MONTHS???? Wonder if she could say the same thing?? Probably not...................

Answer 2

Many of the problems you may be facing could be just the tip of the iceberg on what is really happening in your marriage. I dont mean to scare you but many problems when they either first show up or if they keep reoccurring could be just whats showing from a larger problem that either you or your spouse cannot even see. One of the only things you can do to help is to talk honestly and openly with each other in the marriage. If things become more serious more serious options need to be looked at as possibilities. I have a blog that has more information on some of what I've been writing about. If you feel like checking it out I would completly suggest it. Read here https://tr.im/MFiNQ

Love is a choice that is made everyday when you wake up and every night when you go to sleep. Some days you may not feel the original feeling but love isnt a feeling or an emotion. Its an action a verb. Falling out of love may just mean you need to spice things up a little or that you were never in love in the first place. Don't just get out of a marriage just because you don't think you like the person anymore.

Answer 3

Your husband could stop the calls by changing his cell phone number if the calls became a distraction for him. It's up to him to deal with the calls, when they do come in; whether he answers them, or let's voice mail pick up.
He doesn't have any control over his ex-wife calling him. She is the one that dials her phone. The best he could do is to tell her to not call him in the future.
I, personally, don't know why there would be any communication between the two of them if their children are grown. I would think that beings the children are adults that they wouldn't need a liason between them and the relationship that they have with their dad, but sometimes it does happen.
There also seems to be a Trust issue in your marriage. This issue between you and your husband, which is being instigated by the ex calling, needs to be discussed between you and your husband, and then allow him to deal with his ex. If their relationship only consist of a telephone call, I'm not sure why your are so totally stressed. There is nothing you can do about the situation, other than be depressed about it all,,,and what good is that for you??? If they are having something going on other than a phone call then, there again, there's nothing you can do about it.....
It sounds like to me the ex is only trying to cause dissention between the two of you, because her life didn't turn out the way she wanted it too. Some people go out of their way to cause issues and problems between others. It's up to the others to recognize it and not allow it to continue.
It seems your involvement in it all is causing more stress than what is already there. Your husband might be caught between a rock and a hard place, trying to deal with not only you, but also with an ex he really doesn't want anything to do with. You need to stop berating him for something he has very little control over, and distrusting him is only allowing more problems to slowly tear you apart.

Answer 4

You are way over-reacting. Why would you want to catch your husband in a lie? Don't you have any trust in him. What point does it make catching him in a lie? Whatever is going on between them (which is most likely there is nothing really going on), why not to remain a self-confident and intelligent woman which you sound like you are. Stay confident; there is no need to lower yourself to calling her, or taking away your husband's cell phone. He is a grown man , not a little boy. You are only going to win, if you will start thinking "I am better than that", stay above all that, give him the phone back, and let him handle the problem. He already told her not to call, and she keeps doing it. So what you expect him to do, to go and shoot her? Make it clear to him that you don't like her calling and that you expect him to take a good care of it. And then entrust him to handle it.

Answer 5

Ex wives call for many reasons, when there is something that concerns the kids < grown or not> or mutual friends. The need for a friend that they know will understand. he may be afraid you will not understand that they are civil or still friends, not all divorces end in a war. Some second wives are very insecure about their mans past... In most cases there is a good reason they divorced and men rarely forget that. a lack of intimacy can be many things , stress,medical,frustration over not being trusted. Put your fears aside unless you have proof of unfaithfulness , a lack of trust is a marriage killer. Your husband married you, do you believe he loved you then .... don't let the green monster ruin your marriage.

Answer 6

Beekah,

From what you have told there is no definative evidence that your husband is cheating. However there are behaviours that you describe that your husband is hiding things from you.

Rather than the problem being the ex-wife you may have a problem with your husband.

Here is what I suggest.
1) Plan a meeting with your husband. This has to be planned ahead of time. Tell him that it is important that he take this seriously because you feel hurt by the recent events of his ex-wife calling.
2) Tell him how you feel. Tell him that it hurts you that she is calling and that his reaction indicates that he is hiding something.
3) Tell him that it is important for the relationship that you determine what the nature of the relationship is with his ex-wife.
4) Concerning your intimacy. Tell him how you feel. YOu need to communicate with him about what you are feeling. What you think.
5) Make sure he has time to express his thoughts and feelings.
6) You must understand that the ex-wife thing COULD be harmless that they were best friends at one time.
7) Keep your emotions in check. You are allowed to feel however you feel. But be sure that you are grounded with ration.

These situations are NEVER easy. It also takes time to understand and possibler heal from them. The idea of our spouse cheating sticks with us. That constant doubt always in your head telling you things that may or may not be true.

Listen to him.

If he is resistant to answer your questions then you may need to seek counseling or even an attorney.

I wish you the Best of luck. Take care!

Answer 7

If you can't trust him (and you don't) I'd suggest you lose him. Keeping his cell isn't a cure; he has her number, and access to phones all over the world. He can get another cell and use that (tracfone only costs $20, you know). You can't keep him in a cage. You should probably talk to him about it, and if he won't talk, you can reasonably assume he's doing something he doesn't want you to know about. He had to know if you called her, she'd tell you he'd already called her. He has to know you're snooping in his stuff to find out if he's calling her or has contact. If he wanted it out in the open, it would be.

Answer 8

Well there is more to it then he is telling you,If he is lying to you and you forgive him for it that would be your first mistake, i would call and talk to her husband, and ask him why his wife is calling your husband.He is Cheating on you,If it was me i would leave him in a minute,it doesn't matter what he says and how he explains it to you,he would come up with excuses,i have done told my husband you cheat ,i am gone you can take that to the bank life is short and i will not stay with a man that would start a relationship with any ex's when he is married,that tells me that he doesn't love me.

Answer 9

You are very insecure. His ex is always going to be in the picture because they have kids together. He probably didn't want to upset you that is why he told you what he did. Maybe your insecurities have pushed him away intimately. If you are married to him, don't you trust him? He is with you, not his ex. Didn't you say she has another man in her life? If you really feel that their is a problem and you want to find out, hire a detective. Or follow him.

Answer 10

I was where you are... You can not stop a man or women from doing what they are gonna do... I bet anything he called her more than you no and asked her to call him back.. maybe he left a message to her and she was returning the call when you saw the number....It doesn't help to tell her not to call or him not to call they will just sneak anyway and the problem comes along where in every second marriage the kids seem to play their parents in hopes to get them back together no matter how old the kids are.

Answer 11

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