My husband and i have been married for 3years and he thinks it's time for us to have a baby. I dont know if i'm ready to take on that resonsibility. hes wanted us to have a baby since last year. is 2007 a good year or am going to be in over my head?
2006-12-31 05:47:05 · 31 answers · asked by shoud i? or shouldn't i? 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I have 4
you can never be REALLY ready
2006-12-31 05:49:07 · answer #1 · answered by Mary Mary Jane 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to be sure that you guys care ready for a baby. Babies change your life and your way of thinking. If you're still selfish, meaning that you don't like to sacrifice, then I would say don't do it till you are 100% sure this is what you want. When you have a child you are also giving up all the extras you're use to, no more eating out 3 or 4 times a week, no more being able to just walk out the door, you have to plan for everything. You will know that you're ready because you will feel it. My daughter is 4 now and I swore that I would never have another one because I wasn't ready to have a child when I got pregnant, but now I know I'm ready to have another one because I can feel it. Being a mother is wonderful if you're ready for it, but have a baby because your ready for it not because your husband is talking you in to it, if you're not ready you may find your self resentful towards him for "making" you do it and even a little resentful towards the child.
good luck what ever choice you make.
2006-12-31 05:57:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one is ever really ready for a baby. I am expecting my 3rd child in May and not sure I am ready to tackle the baby thing all over again, but day by day you learn that you are ready for the challenge, and hit it head on. You just have to take the plunge and go with it. No matter when you have a baby, you will never truly be ready until its almost over.
This is something my mother told me when I had my first child, she was never really ready until I was grown up and she was going to be a grandmother. Children will break your heart and make you smile all at the same time, but are you willing to open your heart for the challenge? When you can say yes, then you are ready to go down the crazy path of parenthood.
2006-12-31 06:30:55 · answer #3 · answered by sunflowerlizard 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a baby is a huge responibility. I was 23 when my daughter was born and I thought I was ready for it but I really wasn't because I was really too young for a man. The truth of the matter is that you have to make sure that you are really ready to have a baby on all levels. First and most important one is emotional. You need to get in touch with your maternal instinct and study yourself by watching other mothers (female friends, family members) to see how they cope with the issue of motherhood and if this is really for you at this present time. I was only one year married when my daughter was born. Even though I still think that I was too young for the baby we were very happy to have our daughter right then. Now that she is 17 and I am 40 we have the best understanding with each other. My daughter has this comfort to have a young dad that she can communicate with very easily without crossing boundaries of a generation that could have prevented us from having what we have now. As you can see there is a lot of factors that you should consider when making decision to have a baby. It should not only benefit you but also the future of your child. Good luck.
2006-12-31 06:08:10 · answer #4 · answered by theivorybrother 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is hard to say. Ask yourself this, is it 'now' that is the problem? Can you imagine a time when you would feel 'ready' in the future? If not, you are probably just worried that it is too big of a responsibility. That's normal, and it's true!! It's a huge responsibility, but what you don't realize is that when you have your little baby in your arms you really won't mind at all....and you'll rise to the occasion. I used to be such a baby about sleep! I could never imagine that I would survive all the early sleepless nights with a newborn. But, even though I was so tired, I would look at my little newborn and feel so lucky to have her. So, stop thinking about what it's like to have a baby with your head and try to imagine it with your heart and then you'll make the right decision.
2006-12-31 05:57:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you selfish? Can you look at a child and see that you have a intractable responsibility to love and protect without regard to your own selfish needs? Can you realize that you have created a life and you a now responsible for it's care and development?
Sadly feminism has all but gutted what used to be known as motherhood and replaced it with the soulless shell that now thinly passes as womanhood. Your child will be your life, it's that simple. Anything less is child abuse and anything less than a total commitment will result in yet another lost soul set loose upon the world.
Maybe this sounds horrific to you. Is it possible that the self absorbed life style has left you, like so many, destined to a life of conflicting and half hearted emotions? Never truly finding the happiness promised by the lie, always one step away from finding your place in the world.
YOUR child is number one, not your shoe collection, your job or the next vacation. Children need families, they need fathers and mothers. It does not take a village to raise a child, it takes a family. The very corner stone of a viable society.
So are you ready? Maybe so, maybe not. Look at your life, look at the history of your choices. They will tell you who YOU are and if indeed you posses the capacity. We rarely look at ourselves and in the rare instance rarely see. So search your soul, ask yourself the really tough questions and repeat this process with your husband. If there is doubt in either of you than it's not a question of weather or not you're ready but more a question of weather or not you deserve to parent a child. Have a nice day.........................
2006-12-31 06:30:22 · answer #6 · answered by Weasel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a BIG change, that's for sure. You may not ever feel completely ready. I think that people who take family planning seriously, and actually bother to consider whether they are ready to be parents, make the best parents.
Think about this -- What kind of mother do you WISH you had? Think about the best qualities of your own mother, and also about the other things you would like to do differently. Do you think you can come close to being that person most of the time? You will never be perfect.
And there may never be the perfect time. Will things be much different for you a year or two from now ?(financially, emotionally, etc)
Good luck!
Sherry
2006-12-31 05:57:33 · answer #7 · answered by who me? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a perfect world, you would be ready if you were married to someone who was a decent person, had an education, a career, and unlimited funds. Seeing as this world is not perfect, and anyone capable of having sex can have children, the best answer I can give is that no one is EVER really ready. There will always be things you want to do in life before kids come along, but once they do come along, you forget about those other things. I know people who I never would have expected to be good moms and they are phenomenal.
2006-12-31 06:09:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you financially ready for a baby?
Are you willing to devote 24/7 to that baby?
Are you willing to give up free time & weekends?
Are you willing to be totally responsible for the next 18 years?
Are you in good health? Do you have a good insurance plan?
Do you have a sound marriage? Will he also get up in the night, change diapers, give baths, walk the floor at 2:00 AM with a screaming baby?
Have you and your husband discussed appropriate disciplinary actions while rearing a child. Are you in agreement that one person will not be the sole disciplinarian. If the answer is yes to each of these, then yes... welcome a child in 2007.
2006-12-31 06:01:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having a baby is a LOT of work. Nothing can prepare you for it and as much as people tell you how much work it is, you won't get it until you have one. It is a 24 hour a day 7 day a week job, there are no breaks. The first months especially are very hard and you get no sleep. It is however worth it!! My advice is if you think you aren't ready than wait, but trust me, you will never be ready.
2006-12-31 06:25:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can never be really, really ready for a baby. This is something you just go for, and then you'll be glad you did. The sooner you have a child, the better. After the first one, don't wait long to have a second one, so they can play with each other while growing up and help out each other later in life.
2006-12-31 05:54:16 · answer #11 · answered by OC 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋