I'm a massage therapist, nationally certified and state licensed, a complete professional with nearly double the CEU's required to maintain my standing. Up until now, I've hesitated to tell a new guy what I do, because I didn't want to have to wonder if he likes me for ME, or if he's more interested in my skills.
Just this morning, a very good (male) friend told me that he'd have a problem dating a massage therapist, and that in his opinion, 50% of the guys 'out there' would too....
Could he be right? Or am I correct in believing that men might be more interested in dating a woman if they knew she was massage therapist rather than, say, an administrative assistant or sales associate?
(And absolutely NO offense intended to administrative assistants or sales associates! I've been both in the past, and I have to say: I've never seen men's eyes light up when I told them that I'm an office worker....)
2006-12-31 04:58:03 · 22 answers · asked by Mona H 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Attn: Zerro - you're right, it wouldn't last!
Attn: RightShot - if my guy was also an LMT, then I can honestly say I would have NO problem with him massaging women all day long. I admit, I'd feel differently if he were, say, an elementary school teacher or gynecologist....
Attn: Lucky - oh, forget it...
2007-01-01 22:39:01 · update #1
Attn: ImTired - you rock, too! :-)
2007-01-01 22:40:42 · update #2
Attn: It'saBoy aka Joey - You're too sweet! YOU are great bf material!
2007-01-01 22:45:15 · update #3
Hmm...that's an interesting question. Interesting enough to answer AT WORK, now that I've see it. (And, I seldom do that.)
I think the 50% thing is pretty much pulled out of the air. It's going to entirely depend on the two of you. If he's too insecure, doomed. If you're actually doing anything inappropriate in your work, doomed. (Unless he's the kind of guy who would also be OK in a relationship with a working prostitute, they are rare, but do exist. Careful though, they frequently also beat the girls.)
Barring these extreme cases, I think it's hard to say. If you conduct yourself in a professional manner, it seems likely this would be fine...you might need to work a little harder than the average administrative assistant or sales associate to make it clear you're not "bringing work home with you".
If you're really worried about this having a negative impact on your relationships, working for a well-established business might leave less room for paranoia than do-it-yourself, one-on-one, in-home service. Many gyms, spas, and medical facilities employ massage therapists...and would leave somewhat less room for for the appearance of impropriety.
AFTERTHOUGHT: You have to just come clean with the new guy...he'll like it...or not. Either way, it'll all work out fine in the end. Secrets, in general, are far more corrosive to a relationship than anything that comes out as truth. The longer you wait, the more suspicious it will seem when you do finally say something. (If you're worried about how people will react, maybe he should worry too. I'm not saying that's fair, I think it's human nature.)
2007-01-03 07:22:42 · answer #1 · answered by David G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mona, it looks like you're getting a lot of good answers here, from a lot of very reasonable men (which is encouraging--gentlemen, keep up the good work!)
I understand your concern about letting a new guy know what you do. I'm a yoga teacher, and I'm on an internet dating service. I learned to list my occupation as teacher, in order to weed out the slimy "you're a yoga teacher? You must be really flexible, huh?" responses. Some guys may be more interested if you're a massage therapist, but some of that interest isn't the kind you want in the long term, so I advise you to continue to wait before letting a new guy know what you do. If he asks, you can say you work in health support services, or rehabilitation services, or something like that.
As for the men who would be uncomfortable with your career, they're not worth your time, as many others have already said. The massage therapists I know are mostly very caring, interesting and open minded people. If you're like them, some lucky man is going to be very happy!
2006-12-31 05:22:53 · answer #2 · answered by Yogini108 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be bothered by it at all. If a guy is, then you already have trust and insecurity issues from the get-go.
If you want to try and weed out the purely physical types, don't be specific about what you do. If you aren't working as an independent and work at a spa, clinic, etc... just say you work in health care, or a clinic, do rehab therapy or something non-specific like that. Furthermore, take the massage out of the equation. Even if you tell a guy what you do, don't make that part of the dating experience... wait til the relationship part when you feel he is truly interested in you, and vice versa. If anyone is just trying to just go for the physical stuff, then they likely will go away and not want to stick around.
Personally, a girlfriend with massage skills would be a nice bonus, but it still comes down to personality and interests. If those aren't a good match, then there really is no potential there.
2006-12-31 05:13:10 · answer #3 · answered by Cruel Angel 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd have no problem with it. You sound like a hard working person who has done well. As long as you enjoy what you do and you get paid for it it's all good. I'm sure you'll get some answers about doing this or doing that with your customers but massage therapy isn't like a massage parlor that people have in their minds as soon as you say it. You have an important job. Just look around this place. Plenty of tense, high strung people that could probably use a good massage to relax. Good luck with your survey.
2006-12-31 05:06:37 · answer #4 · answered by Dorkboy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
legitimate massage therapists actually do a favor for society. If done right a good massage can take away alot of the stress that a person feels during their life. It is form of healing warmth, as long as your intentions were strictly business why would it be a problem. Its not stripping or prostitution for pete's sake.
Yogini can u recommend a form of yoga breathing that strengthens a persons immune system
2007-01-02 18:43:50 · answer #5 · answered by virgin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a massage therapeist doesn't mean that a woman is sexually skilled and only a moron would make that association. Do you want to date a moron?
Maybe some would be interested in the free massages, but a c.p.a. would be handy too. Or a dentist, an attorney ....
As to being turned off... again, would you want to date THAT guy?
If your friend's stats are correct, that still leaves 50% of men (and I can assure there is a lot of morons among them too.)
2006-12-31 05:06:49 · answer #6 · answered by John Dull est 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i wouldn't have a problem with it. If you are uncomfortable finding out if he likes you for you, maybe just wait a while before telling him what you do. I don't think someone's career should affect how you feel about a person. That's my point of view, I would care about my girl if she wa a massage therapist, an animal trainer, whatever she was, i care about her for HER!! Hope this helps at all
2006-12-31 05:03:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the problem SOME men would have about it is the fact that you've got your hands on someone else's body all day. Those men are just jealous assholes and possible abusers and not worth your time anyway. Move on. When you find the right guy, he won't have a problem with your career and will be proud of you no matter what you do.
2006-12-31 05:00:27 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer F 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont agree with your friends 50% statistic. Actually you are really talking about two different issues. Some men would like to date you to partake of your skills undoubtedly but what your friend seems to be alluding to is that some men would not consider your occupation respectable or would be threatened by it. These type of men you would be better off without anyway, so eliminating them in any way possible seems a good thing!
2006-12-31 05:06:19 · answer #9 · answered by Mr. CoCo 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if i was in love with u i wouldnt care if u were an undertaker ♥
the only thing i would be worried about is if u would get mad at me if i asked for a massage becuase u'll think im using u or soemthing cuz i think u do it all the time... so i would wait until u offered.. ♥
a real man will love u no matter what
2006-12-31 05:06:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋