Myself and my wife, and a married couple (our friends) are both having problems with our spouses. In each of our cases, one is a responsible, active, satisfied personality and the other is never happy, irresponsible and lazy.
The difference is that I'm the responsible one in our relationship, and in their's, it's her!
Obviously, it's the old 'Opposites Attract' saying that brought both couples together, but both marriages are now failing.
Although it's never come up, I am almost certain we would all be happier if I was with the girl similar to me, and the other two similar (Equals) were together.
But where does that leave the 'Opposites Attract' idea?
And does age make a difference? (we're about 8 years older than the other couple)
2006-12-31 04:47:08 · 9 answers · asked by AUTO S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think Opposites,Equals become bored !
2006-12-31 04:50:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Opposites Attract is too broad of a statement.
People that are "never happy, irresponsible and lazy" will *definantly* be drawn to "responsible, active, satisfied" people because they know that a miserable lazy person will never get anything done. They need the responsible active person to take care of stuff for them. That relationship works out for the lazy person but not the responsible one (who probably gets more and more worn down evey minute they have to spend with lazy one) . I have been in your situation here and I don't think that you should force yourself to stay in that relationship.
Unfortunatly, if your partner is truly "never happy, irresponsible, and lazy" than, in effort to make your relationship work, you've probably adapted to try and control and take responsibility for more than you should have to (maybe more than you ever wanted to). In your new relationship, you'll have to share responsibilities with your new partner. It may be hard at first but you'll have to do it in order to make things work. If you go into a new relationship and act the way you do now with your current wife, your new partner will feel like you think that they are also irresponsible and lazy (that's not what you're going for, right?)
Two responsible people can be very VERY happy together. However, both of you must be able to share responsibilities or agree on certain things for each of you to be responsible for.
The older you are, the less age matters. If she's 18 and you're 26, age will probably matter to her but if she's 30 and you're 38 than it might not matter so much. Why do you feel the need to split from your wife and automatically jump into a new relationship? Waiting isn't for everyone, but sometimes it gives you a chance to get to know yourself again rather than just transferring your problems and dissapointments from your last relationship (however undeservingly) onto your new one.
Good Luck!! :)
2006-12-31 13:15:06 · answer #2 · answered by rude_girl_terry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that opposites DO attract and usually level each other out. There's the out going loud one and the quiet shy one, both being loud and in your face would be a mess. I've also witnessed the shopper / non shopper couples and the control freak / whatever couples. If the marriages are failing it has nothing to do with this, I'd say it's a communication problem. You need to stay where your at and try to work it out with your spouse, if it fails then you know for sure that your not just jumping into something you shouldn't have. Good Luck! =)
2006-12-31 12:56:08 · answer #3 · answered by DB 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, opposites attract. However, character attracts character. You get what you are. Remember, most people don't fall in love because of their housekeeping skills. You married your spouse for a reason. Try to remember that.
You might also want to remember the old saying about the grass always being greener on the other side of the fence.
Good Luck
2006-12-31 16:21:16 · answer #4 · answered by Beth B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I heard that marrying before 25 years of age you will marry your opposite but after 25 you will marry people of similar interests.
I have seen my folks married for over 50 years they were totally attached to one another ;married in their early 30s.
While my guy and I married younger and he goes off on different tangents than I do but we are a family unit with different tastes and ideas its all what you like living with. But neither one of us is lazy if nothing else we do more than most folks do just different things.
2006-12-31 12:53:15 · answer #5 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that age matters....I think that opposites do attract one another but it's not always a good thing...case in point...your relationships...Sometimes it can be good if you balance each other out or you learn to like the things the other person does...but with issues like unhappiness, complaining etc. that is very wearing on a positive upbeat person....so if your talking about likes and dislikes, activities, neat vs messy etc. then it can be ok...if you are talking about personality traits...then similar types would be more suitable....I wish you luck...you're in a tough place.....
2006-12-31 12:51:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't finish the ol' saying: "Opposites attract,... but never get along". It's only fun when you first meet, (like eveything else), then it just gets annoying.
2006-12-31 12:52:29 · answer #7 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think back to y u love her and y u 2 r married. remember the things u use to do and try to do that. try to get on her level & do something she would want to do that is wild and irresponsible! instead of always being responsible! make her feel lucky 2 have married u!................. TALK TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!.................... u will never get anywhere w/o communication!
2006-12-31 12:53:49 · answer #8 · answered by lauren s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they attract, just not for long.....
2006-12-31 12:53:03 · answer #9 · answered by thelovebuzzard 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋