You do not change a man to be affectionate. This is the problem with many women who date men. They want to change them and you'll only make it worse.
Many men inherit their traits from their parental guidance and environment. Many men will learn affection form their mothers and hopefully, treat other women as they would want their mother to be treated.
You want an affectionate man, then find the affectionate man. Do not attempt to change a man to be affectionate. Caring about your feelings is a natural occurrence and instinctive reaction. One which isn't taught at a later age.
You'll have much better success finding the man who you want than changing the one you have.
2006-12-31 04:27:24
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answer #1
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answered by S H 6
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That is a VERY hard question to answer!! Some men are and some aren't. Also, some women are and some women aren't. I do believe that trait is more connected with men though.
About the ONLY way I know is to FIRST, look for a boyfriend that is that way to begin with, since it is a trait maybe taught, learned or just the way he is. Meet his dad and see how he treats his wife. However his father treats his wife will probably be the way you boyfriend/husband will treat you.
Most young women seriously believe that they can marry a total misfit and change him to the way she likes/wants him to be. That is and has been pr oven in most cases that a woman will NOT change a man. Keep that in mind.
Probably the best way is to marry a man that has the traits you like. The second best is to set him down and talk with him about what you want from him. Do this in a nice loving way without being accusing or too agressive. Good luck. Pops
2006-12-31 12:29:10
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answer #2
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answered by Pops 6
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Well, with respect, the plural of man is "men" -- not "mens" (Ebonics?).
A man may have intimacy issues (shyness in intimate situations) that may make them appear cold hearted. Has the man (men) in question been affectionate in past situations? Do you have any friction (arguing) in the relationship recently that may have caused him to pull back?
With me, I have intimacy issues. When I love a woman deeply I find it hard to show it to her in a meaningful way. I find that I feel more at ease if SHE makes the first move. It seems to give me the "ok" to express my feeling passionately -- otherwise I feel like I'm being inappropriate. Give him an unmistakable invitation (unexpected kiss on the lips, hold hands, or cuddle up) and look out! Chances are he'll take the hint (unless he's stoooooooopid - smile.)
2006-12-31 12:32:07
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answer #3
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answered by TurnMeOut 3
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if your man isn't affectionate with you then i'm afraid their's nothing you can do about it. each man is different and they each have different levels of affection, my ex that i dated for 6 years didn't even want to hold hands in public and i used to get hit on when i was out with him b/c people couldn't tell we were together. i broke up with him. my current man of 4 years is the most loving, attention giving man i ever met and i love it!!! you need to find another man and someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated! you can't change someone to be what you want, so you must find someone who is what you need.
2006-12-31 14:15:55
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answer #4
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answered by Caterina C 3
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You can't "get" your man or any man to be more affectionate with you.
Very few men are sweet and affectionate by nature. and when you broads meet them - you buzz them off - since they're not macho enough, not jocks, enough, not rough enough to please you. You women know damn well that you refuse to love men who are sweet, caring, kind, gentle, compassionate, etc.etc.etc. You mock them as not being cool enough or man enough to impress you.
My mom once told me that most women look for guys who are goofy, silly, chew gum, crack jokes 24/7, act like comics to get a laugh out of the girl. Girls dislike anyone serious, reserved, too polite, well-mannered, who doesn't laugh & giggle constantly.
Women only want the BAD BOYS to marry, and live with.
You broads choose the creeps and dregs as your idols - then you wonder why they're not more affectionate.
You get what you deserve - sweetie!!!!
2006-12-31 13:41:59
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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Men do not have that affectionate gene that we women have. They need to be told how we feel and what we want.
2006-12-31 12:23:13
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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Thats hard, because its hard to teach someone something they just don't do. My wife still gets on me because i don't like holding hands etc in public or private. I am a reformed street guy and i don't know how your man is but guys like me just aren't used to all that affection type stuff so we may show you we love you in other ways. Maybe you can talk to him about it and he may come around or he may not. Maybe its just not in his nature. I hope I helped some . take care
2006-12-31 12:25:09
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answer #7
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answered by big stan 5
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I beleive most women think us men know what they want. In some cases we do. But more than likely you need to tell us, otherwise we dont pick up on these things.
2006-12-31 12:25:14
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answer #8
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answered by chris18j2002 2
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Tell him you're both going to learn massages & practice on each other. Then do exactly that. They can be very intimate without being sexual.
2006-12-31 14:57:56
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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Stop complaining.Give compliments
2006-12-31 12:35:49
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answer #10
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answered by EL-BRAY 3
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