http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AovPEnjEPx78NU4stb6We.3sy6IX?qid=20061230215638AA0J4g2
Ok i asked this question yesterday and got some good replies, see link above for more info. Should have been a little more descriptive though. The reason I asked this is because I am considering putting her on birth control pills to help control her mood swings. She is on medication for bipolar but they seem to do nothing for her pms related mood swings. She is only 12 yrs old which is another reason for asking. If the doc thinks the pill would be a good choice for her and she has to have the exam done, I would be taking her and be in the room with her when it is done, I'm not letting anyone do anything to my girl without someone there with her, understand? I know how uptight our society is and everyones first thoughts are that the mother should be doing this, not dad, but I handle all the doctor appointments and taking care of her when she's sick so it's no big deal to me. Thanks.
2006-12-31 04:04:07 · 12 answers · asked by Tim M 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Ok, apparently this was asked the wrong way, I was simply looking for opinions on this matter, not permission, not saying i was going to take her to one soon, or saying i would be in the room no matter what. This has gotten blown way out of context and I am sorry for that. I asked this question because I was thinking of birth control to help with her mood issues, and I would leave that up to the doctor, their decision not mine, just looking for alternatives to pysciatric meds. Everyday is a struggle with her and what kind of mood she is in. Bipolar, ADD doctors tell me, she was hospitilized in Jan for suicidal thoughts. I'm looking for various solutions. 12 yr old, hormones going crazy, the pill seemed like a logical choice to settle them down, or maybe something else? My daughter knows she could have anyone take her if this is what it came down to, mom, aunt, grandmother, but she said I was the one she was comfortable with, which was odd to me, which is why i asked opinions on here.
2006-12-31 06:24:42 · update #1
being that she's only 12 a pelvic is going to be uncomfortable for her anyway.. having her dad in the room may make it more ackward, but if ur going to the doc with her they usually always have a nurse in the room too.. but i would call the gyno first and see if they think she even needs the pill... it could be a reaction with the bi polar meds and her hormone change during her cycle.. i had my first pelvic at 14 and i was a virgin at the time and i really didn't want my family in the room with me.. why not let ur daughter decide if she wants u in there.. and for her comfort try and get a femal gyno they are a bit more gentle and they tend to be a bit more understanding with younger female patients ( i know this because i had both a male and a female gyno when i was young) it's great that u want to help her out but respect her wishes also
2006-12-31 04:10:24 · answer #1 · answered by ypsilady 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most gynecologists don't allow the parent/guardian in the room during the exam. There is always a female nurse present if it is a male doctor, not always if it is a female doctor. The nurses are generally kind and understanding and many will be willing to hold your daughter's hand through the procedure if she wants. Make sure she is comfortable with the doctor and gets to talk to him/her outside of the exam room before anything is done.
Twelve is awfully young to be starting on birth control pills... could you talk to her doctor that prescribed the bipolar medications and see if there is a different kind she can take now that she is having more hormonally induced mood swings? There are other things she can take too for hormonal mood swings, such as Omega-3 fatty acid supplements and a b-vitamin complex (especially b-12 and b-6). Talk this over with all her doctors and see if there is a non-chemical way to help her control these pms-induced mood swings.
best of luck.
2006-12-31 04:28:42 · answer #2 · answered by Twistedsheets 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i am a mother and a daughter,now if i were your daughter I would feel uncomfortable having my Dad in the room with me...Is there any reason the mother cannot go?that would be my first question,however since you Must go,it appears her mom is unavailable,so i will assume that is the case......you have a daughter that is bipolar i understand that because i have a son that is bipolar...It seems to me that other you need to consult the doctor that has her on medication for her bipolar to see if she is taking the correct medication..I for one would not put my 12 year old child on birth control unless it was the last resort....and I certainly would not let a doctor do a pelvic on her at age 12...I think that is a bit much...I don,t think that you have any bad motives behind what you are doing,don,t get me wrong,but can you just imagine you being 12 and just devloping and your mom went in and watched it,I think it is putting your daughter in uncomfortable situation,girls at that age are sensitive....I don,t think she needs to be on birth control,pms is natural and not harmful and i think i would first check on her medication she is now taking,like i said....If it becomes a must to take birth control pills and she has to have a pelvic which i would not suggest,but if it must be,I think a nurse is always in the room with any pelvic test anyway,i think thats a rule,but if not I would make sure a nurse is in the room ,but I don,t think you should be in the room,unless she wants you there and that should be her choice.Ilove my dad but i would be mortified if my Dad watched such a thing,and I really don,t think the doctor would agree either,but you can make sure a nurse is in there...I am only thinking about your daughters feelings ,not yours...you ask and Im just giving you my opinion...good luck.................its a shame that this little girl cannot have a mother to support her in this....
2006-12-31 04:33:09 · answer #3 · answered by slickcut 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OH NO!!! you can not be in the room with her--Seriously!! A doctor is not molesting a child when they are doing a pelvic exam. But the procedure is very uncomfortable and awkward and NO MATTER WHAT--you don't want anyone there--Not even your mother. Listen-- I am 34 and I have had exams every two years since I was 16 and I can tell you that I have had men doctors and womens and a pelvic is difficult no matter what. Some doctor (men or women) have been very rough and I feel almost violated after the procedure. So what I did recently was ask around to my girlfriends to find out who they use and who they like. I found a nurse practioner who is fantastic! I do not feel sore or violated afterward, it is still uncomfortable (realize that a doctor sticks their hands in there--they are looking for tumors, cysts, etc...). They also do a breast exam and you would be seeing your daughter's breasts--inappropriate. But having a good nurse now is a huge difference. I would never even let a boyfriend in the room. It is not like a women when she is having a baby and you are in the room. Your daughter is not ready for her father to be in the room. Think about how she might feel and how uncomfortable she might be.
2006-12-31 05:41:12 · answer #4 · answered by shamrock5858 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well im going to take it that sence you mentioned PMS she has started her period. Realize tho that this could make her mood swings worse at the same time. usualy the pill is used to regulate her monthly not her mood. as for you taking her in. Yes thats the mothers job. she is becoming a younglady and for her dad to be there may make her very uncomfortable. if the mother isnt available then have a family friend (women) go in there with her. Its the fact that your her dad and "dads dont do that" also get her a female doctor if you already havent especialy do the the pelvic exam that way you dont have anything to wory about. they have a medical licence for a reason. have a lil trust. lol. becoming an EMT i know what you are feeling becase i deal with people just like you on a regualr basis. Talk to your daughter and ask her waht she wants its her body that you will be putting the medicin in and her body getting looked at.
2006-12-31 04:14:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It may not be a big deal to you, but it may be a big deal to her. If she prefers her mother, then that should be the final decision. A doctor is no longer the only person in the room with an underage patient. You can request nurses to stay as well. But again, I suggest your wife be in there with her.
I also suggest you get out of the "control" mode of being the handler of medical appointments and make this a shared category for you and your wife. It's not about you, it's about your children. If they want one parent over the other, they should have it. It's acceptable for a daughter or son to discuss all topics related to their puberty and growing up, but it's another to physically present in a room which may make them uncomfortable. Give them the voice to decide what they want.
2006-12-31 04:18:07 · answer #6 · answered by S H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know any doctor who would suggest a 12 year old get put on the pill for mood swings. Most likely, they will suggest that your daughter wait several years until her body regulates itself.
I find it extremely bothersome that you are jumping to the decision that you want your daughter on the pill. You alone handle your "girl's" (you refer to her as your girl, not as your daughter, and that sounds like someone seeking or in a position of power.) medical issues. Why is her mother not involved? Why is a female nurse not involved.
Your post reeks of someone who might possibly interested in his daughter for more than typical father daughter relationship. You are aggressive, defensive, protective and your statement about not letting anyone "do anything to my girl" are scary to me. The doctor will be in the room and so will his nurse who most likely will be a woman/female. They will carefully explain everything to your daughter; as you are not qualified to explain any of this to her.
You don't have any knowledge of such exams and you can't help her out in this circumstance. However, I am sorry to say this if I am wrong but you sound like a controlling, creep of a father.
I hope someone investigates you. I wish I knew who you were.
I may be way far off here but usually my instincts are very good. Sorry if I am wrong but the welfare of a child is at stake here.
2006-12-31 04:42:28 · answer #7 · answered by ssssss 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sir, please be respectful of your daughters feelings in this matter. If she is 12 years old. Ummm I am not sure the Gyno's office is a place where a daddy should be with her. This procedure although very routine is of a descrete nature. Please ask her what she wants. Do not insist that you are going to be in the room during the exam. Doctors are trained professionals and they usually require a female nurse to accompany them into the exam room.
I am not sure it will be a good idea to have a 12 year old put on BC pills. There synthetic hormones that are not good for female bodies with prolonged time. There has to be other drugs and combination of drugs that may better for your daughter.
Handle situations like this with kit gloves.... Dont do somthing to scare her..emotionally or physically.
2006-12-31 04:14:40 · answer #8 · answered by Igottheanswers 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that it is great that you are so involved with her.
However you could ask about Buspar helps very well with mood swings.I have taken it for Panic Attacks for years off and on it helped alot.I had my tubes tied and 1 week a month I am taking 1 a day to help with the mood swings and it really helps me.I feel for your DD it is very stressful. And she is very lucky to have a dad like you.(Buspar is a Chem version of Serotionin in which controls moods and etc.)
2006-12-31 04:12:21 · answer #9 · answered by billieleann78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
considering the fact that she is 12 and will have a doctor put hteir finger in ure daughters vagina then insert a speculum its best if the mom does this
your daughter will not even want to do this you have to be co,mfortable with her and talk to her and exlain the procedure
many kids at that age will cry.
tell her its not going to hurt
if you go with her don't be in the room she will feel too uncomfortable
2007-01-01 07:08:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋