He's been having an affair for almost 2yrs. We're separated. He asked me to take him back and we would work things out. Except he can't leave that girl alone. If he wants to be with her and continually chooses her over me and my son why does he string me along? What does he want from me? He lives overseas so we hav'nt even seen each other in 7mos. He ruined our marriage to be with her, why does'nt he just continue to go with her and leave me alone?
2006-12-31 04:00:08 · 20 answers · asked by lasvegas 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A lot of guys do this its not uncommon for a guy to want to keep his marriage intact, but as an open marriage; ie still be with women.
Its really what you will tolerate. Some women live like that all their lives read stories of the President's lives like FDR and all the Kennedy's were like that.
If you have separated file for the divorce and let him know you mean business. In the military they will garnish his wages for child support and he won't have as much spending money on the new gf.
Happy New Year!
2006-12-31 04:13:24 · answer #1 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To break the trust in a marriage (infidelity) is the end unless there is remorse, regret , ending the affair and working through it together, it's been two years and nothing has been done and nothing has changed.
Just tell him that he made his decision two years ago to leave and you and your son and have moved on without him. If it has taken him two years to figure out he had made a mistake, it is too late and he has done nothing to make things right, even now. He is welcome to stop by to visit but a relationship is not an option (he can't play house and the field at the same time).
I would get a divorce if you haven't already, this would make your decision final and would show him you are done with him also. Good Luck.
2006-12-31 12:21:29 · answer #2 · answered by trojan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are allowing him to use you like this. If he called I would let him talk to your son (if he is old enough you didn't say) or if he began that "come back" "work things out" I would tell him to stop or I would hang up......He made his choice 2 years ago so now for him to live with it.
Maybe he thinks he needs a place to stay in the states when he comes back, but then have his place overseas when he wants...best of both worlds for HIM.....
2006-12-31 12:08:43 · answer #3 · answered by Gypsygrl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How can he be stringing you along if you don't LET him? Tell him the ONLY contact you want or need from him is child support, and to be there for his son when and if he needs him. Any other conversation will be cut off by a HANG UP!
2006-12-31 12:04:22 · answer #4 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he wants both of you. If you are separated then steer clear of him. if he has visitation rights and comes to see/pick up his son then arrange for someone else to do it.
But it sounds like he isn't around at all so it should not be a problem to simply ignore him.
If you are thinking of taking him back then no one can help you with that decision. But why would you ever want to?
Get out there and meet new people and consider him done.
2006-12-31 12:05:39 · answer #5 · answered by lilygateau 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't string you along unless you let him.
Don't let him take over your life there is some one out there for you he already leave you for the other girl, so what more do you want? Do you want to keep on getting heart by this man? Or do you want to move on?
Get a divorce with this man. it is for your own good
Good luck
2006-12-31 12:12:40 · answer #6 · answered by mimi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like he's gonna get this other woman out of his life anytime soon. It could be because she's convenient. YOU have to decide if you are willing to tolerate this. YOU are the one who states the marriage is ruined. Run away! He's made his choice clear. Sorry!
2006-12-31 12:07:26 · answer #7 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The thrill is gone. Don't you get it? It was so thrilling when he was cheating on you. Now that you have said, "OK, I am stepping aside so you can go ahead and be with your mistress, it's not fun any more. Don't let him do this to you. You have stepped aside so now it is time for you to focus your energy on someone else. He made his choice and now he must live with it. Find a man that can really appreciate you and will be faith-full to you.
2006-12-31 12:08:55 · answer #8 · answered by sunny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is stringing you along because you are letting him,he is probably so proud of himself for having 2 women in his life. Dump him totally and don't let him to that to you or your son. Live your own life and don't worry about him, just take care of your boy
2006-12-31 12:07:47 · answer #9 · answered by Urchin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ever think of divorcing and starting over?? I really cant feel that bad for you considering the fact that you are only separated!!! make a stand tell him to drift and take HALF!
2006-12-31 12:04:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋