my girlfriend has taken my 4 month old son?

Question

she says i can see him but cant have him overnight and whe i do see him it has to be at her mums who i dont speak to

can she do this or will i have to get a solicitor involved

Answer 1

You're being screwed royally, mate. Get some father's advocate groups involved. They will have links to lawyers who believe strongly in father's rights, and will be able to help you more than the solicitor down the street.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fathers'_rights_movement_in_the_UK
http://www.fathers-4-justice.org/f4j/
http://dmoz.org/Society/People/Men/Issues/Fathers'_Rights/

I've provided you with just a few of the links available. Please use them.

Answer 2

Since there is not a possession order in place, neither one of you has to allow the other parent to see the child. I recommend you get a possession order through the court system in your area, and visitation will be set. At that point, you will both be under court orders as to when visitation will take place. But, if your GF is made the custodial parent, be prepared for the court to also require you to pay child support.

At four months, a father is just as able to care for the child as the mother, even overnight. My ex and I were separated during her pregnancy. For the first couple of months after our youngest was born, I did not keep her overnight. Mainly, that was due to the fact my ex, a teacher, was out for summer, and did not have to go to work during the day. But, at about 2 months, i started keeping her overnight, and had no problems, other than some sleepless nights and long tiring days.

Answer 3

If you can't sort this out between you, you'll have to get some sort of mediator involved, and then possibly a solicitor. I'm absolutely DISGUSTED at the amount of people telling you that the child should automatically be with his mother. It's as much your child as it is hers, and she has no right to dictate where and when you can see him. If she won't listen to reason, you'll have to get the courts involved, which is very sad; it's a long, drawn out affair, and no one wins at the end of the day.

Society seems to think that a father is some sort of optional fashion accessory, yet children without fathers do worse at school, are less likely to go to university, are more prone to depression as adults, and more likely to have a lower paid job.

Do what's best for your son, not what's best for his mother.

Good luck mate.

Answer 4

Are you contributing towards his upkeep? That is one of the first questions you will be asked. You may also have to prove that there is no valid reason for her to keep you from seeing your son....i.e. violence, drugs, alcohol! If none of these apply, and there is no other justifiable reason for her to stop you seeing your son a court would allow reasonable access and it would not be at her beck and call or at her parents house!

However, as much as it probably grates on you and you don't want to hear it, the court will always take into account the child and what is best for the child! That is their priority!

The laws have changed over the years and the person deemed to be the main carer will almost certainly retain custody!

If there is no reason for her to stop you looking after your son the court can order her to allow you access.

BUT!! for your, her and your son's sake, I would advise that you talk it thru first...just the two of you....and for God's sake don't lose your temper or make threats! Tell her you don't want it to go through solicitors and make it messy and you must talk like reasonable adults to find a mutually agreeable soultion.

The other thing to consider is the fact that the courts may order you both to go to a family counselling/reconciliation advisor to resolve the situation. They hold a lot of power and if they get involved, they will make recommendations that you and her may not like!

Answer 5

First of all, IGNORE all of the answers telling you that you should allow this to happen because thr baby is too young to be away from its mother for a night. You're the baby's father! What about single fathers, and children of two fathers/no mommies?

You should speak to a lawyer/solicitor, or at least some type of Child Welfare organization or fathers' rights' group (i.e., http://www.fathers-rights.com/ ).

Good luck!

Answer 6

Without a court order, you both have equal rights/responsibilities re. custody/access of your son. But yes, basically in cases like this, possession is 9/10 of the law and the person who has the child in their care can decide. Having said that, this in no way means this child should be put in the middle of a tug of war!! The two of you need to act like mature adults and discuss this. If you can't work out an agreement yourselves, consider mediation or seeking legal counsel. Whatever happens I would strongly encourage you both to put your own agendas/issues aside and focus on what is going to be best for your baby. He needs to be safe, protected and well cared for by the adults around him. He also needs to have positive, consistent relationships with both of you (providing it is appropriate/safe). Given his young age, I don't believe that a Court would endorse you having overnight visits at this point (and especially if breastfeeding is an issue), but something to work up to in your parenting plan.

Answer 7

can't answer as u haven't said the reason she's so scared to leave alone with baby. I'm not saying its u but there is not enough detail. Go to a solicitor

Answer 8

No she can do this and the court will side with her all the way. You will have to seek legal advice but if she says it's through her mum you see him then so be it. It sounds like she is saying this so you don't see him. Im a mother and would never stop my child seeing her father but some woman are just born nasty unless you have done something bad for her to take this action then I side with her if you have done nothing wrong and have paid for your son then I feel sorry for you. The law stinks when it comes to fathers as they always go with the woman. I wish you luck but don't ever give up on him as one day he will be a man and will want his daddy.

Answer 9

At 4 months the baby needs Mum at night-
No matter what.
Is there a reason for the split ????

If you have been a supportive father both emotionally and financially then you have every right to as much contact as you like, but that would be best through the day.
When baby is sleeping through and doesn't need his Mum so much, then I would say you are just as entitled to look after him at night.

This is purely for biological reasons that I'm saying this.

Being a responsible father also includes supporting the mother, being respectful towards her and not getting into a slanging match.
If she's doing it though to score points then I would just play it all by the book and she will show her true colours.

Like I say though, it depends why you split.
Providing violence or neglect hasn't occurred on your part you are entitled to have him at your home.

Is your name on the birth cerificate

Answer 10

you will be best seeing a solicitor, do as she asks for now, then she cant throw it back at you at a later date, and see a solicitor ASAP, im a single mother, and hate it when mothers use their kids as pawns to get bak at their ex's, iv neva gone down that road, and dont intend to, good luck, and all the best 4 new year