For 2 weeks we tried to make a plan for our NYE date. We discussed what we'd do a million times and even made a local hotel reservation at one point. But he would never make (or let me make) dinner reservations. He kept saying, oh, let's play it by ear. Well I knew he was doing this to get out of having to dress up and go to a nice place. So now of course we can't get in to any of the places I want to go. I told him, you railroaded us into having to go somewhere casual at the last minute by refusing to make reservations. This is just one of many examples of ways he just won't own up to his own emotions.
2006-12-31 02:10:04 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This morning, when we couldn't decide on a place to go, he lays a guilt trip on me about, "Well, I guess I just didn't understand what you wanted." Trying to play the good guy, but really, he is the one who painted us into this corner by refusing to make a reservation so that we had OPTIONS. That is why I say he's not owning up.
2006-12-31 02:16:20 · update #1
It sounds to me like he is somewhat selfish....and if he didn't want to go out to a fancy place he could have just said that from the get go. Going forward, I'd go ahead and make plans - this way you're covered...assuming he does this type of thing all the time. Then follow thru on the plans - not to be selfish - but as a way of demonstrating the benefits of planning ahead. This way you can be flexible at the last minute if your plans change. Someone once told me that compromise is the glue that keeps a marriage together....I think it's a part of the equation...
However, I don't believe you teach someone who 1) doesn't think they have a problem & 2) doesn't want to learn....good luck & have a good time wherever you end up!
2006-12-31 02:30:19 · answer #1 · answered by curious! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think many Women assume that Men are in a position of always feeling up to going to anywhere and being comfortable. Maybe he feels a bit self conscience getting dressed up and going to fancy places. Maybe you could say something like "let's go find you a nice pair of slacks and a nice shirt for New Year's Eve. (It's not to late). Just cause you didn't get into something fancy doesn't mean you both can't get dolled up and have dinner somewhere else. Who Care's where your eating at. Don't be so hard on him. I see Women being so hard on their Husband's all the time when it comes to going out places and such. (believe me all my best friend's are girls). Women forget that men are insecure as well sometimes and it's not like men are programmed to talk about such things. Don't land blast him on "a possibly" that he railroaded the situation. Make the best of it to where you both feel comfortable and have a great time. Who cares if your eating taco bell in the room when the clock strike' twelve. Remember there are millions of people ringing in the New Year by themselves. Go give him a hug and tell him how much you appreciate the fact that he chooses YOU to be with on New Year's Eve and How much you love him. If you want to get into a restaurant start making phone calls this morning and then go out get him a nice outfit to wear. Good Luck! '-)
2006-12-31 10:19:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Learn your lesson. Make decisions for yourself. You should have made reservations and if he decided he didn't want to go, you go ahead and take a girlfriend with you. UPi can't make the hubby change. You can change yourself though.
2006-12-31 10:17:32 · answer #3 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't , instead try to find away to accept him as he is and understand him. Why don't you make the reservations and suprise him with where you are wanting to go.
2006-12-31 10:13:50 · answer #4 · answered by bostonmn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is emotions he has to own up to. He seems a lazy git who can't be bothered. For future nights out just go ahead and make the arrangements if he won't go then take a buddy.
2006-12-31 10:12:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What the hell does this have to do with emotions? It was probably way too expensive. Men tend to see money as security, and women tend to see it as affection. That's a generalization, of course.
2006-12-31 10:12:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Another example of a woman trying to change a man. If you want him to "own up to his emotions", then you need to convince him to have a sex change, so that he can become a woman and you and him can talk about curtains and flowers...
2006-12-31 10:13:03 · answer #7 · answered by summit_of_human_intellect 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
He is a man that is what they do. Your best bet is to make the plans and tell him that is what you are doing.
2006-12-31 10:24:54 · answer #8 · answered by Right Wing Extremist 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is frustrating when they can't just be upfront with how they feel about certain things. It's just something you will have to talk through.
2006-12-31 10:19:10 · answer #9 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wonder what it's like for him having a live-in therapist?
2006-12-31 10:12:49 · answer #10 · answered by tumbleweed1954 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋