How would you tell them? and what would you do if they made you feel bad about doing it. (ie guilty, insecure,/doubtful of the relationship) Would it be harder if you had kids and your were "taking their grandkids away"?
2006-12-31 01:48:43 · 15 answers · asked by amyth74 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I am from Chicago, IL and he lives in Edmonton, Alberta
2007-01-02 07:00:40 · update #1
Yes if he truly was the love of my life. I f there were kids involved as long as he got on great with them and vice versa then yes again. Family would stand by my decisions no matter what. It would then be up to us to make sure the kids saw their granparents as often as poss.
2006-12-31 02:51:40 · answer #1 · answered by Tammy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have one of the epic questions. Love of your life or the love of family. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce. You never divorce your family. Now we got that out of the way. How do you know he is the love of your life. I've heard that hundreds of times, and its never been true.
The fact that you did move with him tells me, that there was doubt, he's a foreigner, or he moved for a job and you are waiting to follow.
All of this still tells me that you haven't spent enough time with him to tell if he IS the love of your life. Do you have children or not? The theoretical question sounds like your fear of taking the grandchildren away w/o catching hell.
Here are some rules of thumb w/o knowing more;
If you are under 25 (roughly) you have no businesses moving off. You will understand when you are 30.
If you have been with him less then 5-8 years, you don't know him. (that's when most relationships end)
If you have kids by him and you haven't gotten married, something is already wrong between you two.
If you have kids by someone else, and they are still in the picture (by their own choice) you have NO business moving off. Between the children's grandparents and father, it just wrong.
Being a parent means 1 thing. Your children's well being is greater then your own.
Most times these questions are asked because people have doubts and are wanting others to tell you it's ok, even though you feel it may be wrong.
2006-12-31 02:08:46 · answer #2 · answered by Computer Dr. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are a single then it is quite normal for you to chose to go and live with your life chosen partner anywhere out in the world. This would entail leaving your birth family and this is done normally all over the world. No guilt
But---if you have created a family after marriage and have a husband and kids---then leaving them for another love is tantamount to dissertion, especially if they are young and need you.
But---If you have lost your husband and your children are grown and have loves and lives of their own---then you are free to chose what you want to do and where you want to stay. That does not mean breaking the family bonds. The world is now a small place and travel is much more easy, communication is great with the telephone, mobile, internet and videocams.
BOL
2006-12-31 02:04:04 · answer #3 · answered by itsmehuh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I plan to move with my old man in several years, I believe your family should be supportive, after all isn't that what family is for? Family NEVER goes away. You can always call and visit. The only thing I had to say about the move is I would be able to come home and visit once in a while, I will be leaving a grandbaby and 2 grown sons behind. As I told my oldest son once I would never ask him to give up his love and his wife for me. I will die eventually and I want him to live his life with the person he loves. We did decide not to move till my mother passed away, she was in bad health, and kids were out of school.
2006-12-31 01:59:15 · answer #4 · answered by Virginia C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well in that situation there are several things to consider. they are: 1) do you realy love this person enough to move to a foreign country? 2) how good is your parents health ? 3) is there a job waiting for you when you get there 4) will you have the money to fly back if and when one or both parents end up in the hospital with a serious illness or dying 5) whats more important to you the security off life as you know it OR throwing caution to the wind to follow your heart " so this i say to those faced with this problem --- consider all the reasons to and to stay carefully: cause it will be one of the biggest steps you take in your life and in your relationship;; so consider everything involed and deside for your self. no one can deside for you.
2006-12-31 02:18:13 · answer #5 · answered by oldcars12002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am leaving my family to go live with the love of my life in another country. I'm from Germany and I'll be moving to the USA in February.
To be honest, at first i wasn't planning on telling my parents. I was gonna tell them I'd go on vacation to see my boyfriend and then just never come back. But i just couldn't do that to them so i told them one night at dinner table. They were shocked but they said they knew something like that would happen eventually. They took it pretty well. Of course they tried talking me out of it but i said from the beginning, I'm gonna do this!
They finally realized that this is what i want so they got used to it. I'm already half there, I've packed all my stuff, everything is gone....
They never made me feel bad about it but id they did, i wouldn't do anything about it. They'll get used to it, trust me. They'll be OK after a few months...
I don't have any kids yet but we're planning on starting a family together. And yes, my parents are kind of sad that I'll be in the USA having their grand kids. But they'll always be welcome to stay with us for a few months.
I'm happy about the decision I've made. I know I'll be in good hands with my fiance. My parents know that, too. They trust him and love him.
2006-12-31 02:20:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that depends on the situation. if hes military and thats why your moving then i guess thats a good reason. or for a job etc...but if the kids are old enough to be stable in school then its going to be harder on them to have to go get used to a whole new situation but it can be done, just expect to deal with the problems they will have being in a new place. that can be dealt with too. see my husband is military and we have moved alot and its taken its toll on the kids so i'm just saying be careful with your decisions. if you truely think that this is a good idea then go for it!! your family will just have to understand like ours had to. we got the same treatment from his family and we had to tell them to knock it off because we were doing what we thought was best for us. but like i said we ran into alot of problems along the way so just be careful. GOOD LUCK!!!!!
2006-12-31 02:00:48 · answer #7 · answered by onyx maiden 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i only knew my husband 4 a month b4 we got egaged
i lived in sa he lived in the UK
we got married a yr back and i moved to the UK to be with him - so yes i left my family for the love of my life..
You need at some point in yr life build your own family and my family understood that.. no1 made me feel bad or guilty
2006-12-31 01:58:39 · answer #8 · answered by PeTiTe_Mummy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your life honey my sister is soon leaving and dont care about us or her 4 boys be cause she is taken her daughter from the man she is with and leaveing her boys from another guy here with me for me to take care of.so the choose is hers and if you decide to go then i am sure in the long run if not now people will forgive you and understand good luck honey and have a great new year where ever u r..
2006-12-31 01:55:28 · answer #9 · answered by lundie_g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only go if it is a move up and also if you have known the guy for at least 4 years.
2006-12-31 01:53:31 · answer #10 · answered by tenbadthings 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋