I am confused. I don't know how to tell people at work I think I am gay. I hang out with younger men and have many feelings for them. I try to hide them but its hard. I have tried to date a woman but it didn't work out. I feel all warm and tingly inside when I see a strapping young man. People at work will surely judge me because I am in a male dominated, masculine profession. Should I tell them, and how do I avoid conflict. Should I stop going to the locker room and talking to them when they are changing even though I don't change there? I am sure some people know, because I take all the young new guys under my wing and mentor them. I have even mistakingly made moves on a few.
2006-12-31 01:11:01 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Why do you want to tell people at work? Your private life is nobody else business.
2006-12-31 01:21:06 · answer #1 · answered by kevin 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Right, if you work in a homophobic environment I would personally not recommend that you come out. Some people would advise differently, but you have to ask yourself if you think it would make you happier.
It is much easier for people to come out in environments that are not homophobic, such as academia, creative industries, politics and charities.
Remember, it is perfectly normal to want to be friends with other men. You really should not feel guilty about this. Men do like the company of other men. That's a fact of life and nothing to do with being gay.
I would recommend that you should not go to the locker room just to talk to guys, because it breaks a social taboo. No straight guy would expect to talk to girls in the locker room.
If you actually want to change there, that is a totally different matter.
If you are mentoring new guys, that is a positive thing. If you happen to fancy them, that's your little secret. Sounds fun. Don't worry about it.
On the other hand you really really should not come onto straight men at work. They just aren't going to want a relationship. It will make things awkward.
You need to have relationships with men outside work. That really is much easier than you think. Try online dating, you will find that the poster gets a lot more responses than anyone who posts.
2006-12-31 10:31:40 · answer #2 · answered by psychedelic_fighter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Mongo, I know exactly how you feel. Its as though you and I are the same person, because I have been dealing with the very same feelings. I look lovingly at all the new young employees here at my job. I try to mentor them and in so doing I find myself getting aroused. I constantly think of what it would be like to make passionate love to these guys. So far, I've been able to repress my obvious feelings but I wish so very much to take a couple of these men to my Vermont love nest and have a romantic weekend. By the way, how old are you??? I have just started taking salt peter though and it is helping. Maby you should try some.
2006-12-31 09:46:56 · answer #3 · answered by turfkey, steve 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont have to tell anyone about your sexual preference. A straight guy doesnt have to reveal that about himself does he?? Just keep to yourself, and avoid answering any questions, unless you feel comfortable in doing so. Work is not the place to date anyway. And, you dont have to change the way you work. You also need to control any urges you have to make moves on the guys. Only because you could end up getting charged with sexual harassment. The old tale goes "Dont poop where you eat". Either straight or gay, stay away from work place follies! Good luck, and remember your private life is just that, private!
2006-12-31 09:22:32 · answer #4 · answered by thelaundryfairy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never sh!t where you sleep. Look elsewhere for your love. Behave responsibly at work
2006-12-31 11:17:40 · answer #5 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋