Already I /ve taken my wife with me immediatly after married. I cant believe her. we have a daughter of one year. i want her to adjust with my family to share the health problems and other things.
2006-12-29 18:32:11 · 18 answers · asked by raj 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Perhaps your family said things that hurt your wife when she first went to meet them. I suggest you try again to have a family sit down meeting. If that does not work maybe it's time to visit a counselor on marriage problems, where both of you go.
2006-12-29 18:38:18 · answer #1 · answered by canbarra 2 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
good you have an individual family set up. you say you cant beleive her.here is the problem you must trust each other and have confidance. if there is anything agianst it ,sit down and discuss openly. matters will change.you say you want her to adjust.you should also adjust.you say you have a daughter of one year. so you must have been married for just afew years. you must make her beleive you and stick to it so that she can share her health problems with you. she may fear desertion.
more over you should not be a parents baby still. you are now yourself a parent.wife and kids are equally important as to your parents. you have not said anything regarding this.Any way how is your sexual relationship with her. some girls will cooprate to her husbands wishes to any extent. some will request new methods. but generally though they have an urge they dont speak out. ask her her desires and give her.tell her your desires. if she does not wish some of your likings dont compell her. cooprataion and satisfaction within the walls will put and end to all trifillings in the family.But bear in mind sex is not the only criteria between a husband and wife.if all these dosnt work be patient, take her to a family counseller.these are from my personal experiances. i had the same proble and i have overcome it with these stragies. now even god cannot part us.we are now such a loving couple.
2006-12-30 08:42:13 · answer #2 · answered by Muruks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You, your wife and your daughter are your family now and should be your first priority. Your parents, her parents, your siblings and all the other relatives are extended family.
If your daughter is only a year old, your wife has probably had her hands full with child care which, at that age, is very demanding and can be extremely tiring. It's no wonder your wife may have a "poor mentality" concerning all the other family. She's probably exhausted!
How are you with your extended family? Do you share their health problems and "other things" or is that a role you expect your wife to carry alone?
You don't say what your living situation is. Are you (your wife and daughter) living with your parents? Do you expect your wife to take care of your daughter, you and your parents or other relatives? Looking after a child is a fulltime job. Running a household is more than a parttime job. Looking after ill or elderly parents is another job. What are your expectations?
2006-12-30 02:55:02 · answer #3 · answered by pat z 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all it makes me sick how you define a "poor mentality". What mentality is yours? Is your mentality richer then her?
You say "Already I have taken my wife with me immediately after married?" What else could you have done differently? Would you have given it to some one else? I think all men do that and there is nothing to boast about it.
Just think would you share and discuss "your health problems and other things" with your in-laws?
You need to identify what the real problems is?
You been her hubby it is your responsibility to take care of her with love and affection.
There is nothing wrong in her mentality, if she is not ready to open and discuss her problems with your family, you need to take her in confidence and discuss the issue with your family, you are the link for her between the two (your family and she).
Any way if you need free email counselling please contact counsellor at nischai_org@yahoo.co.in
God Bless You and do not run too fast on the life, you need to balance yourself with your partner.
2006-12-30 03:00:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Raj, its always easy to ask others to correct and adjust to the situation which we want.
First of all in your Question, you say " I can't believe her". The basic problem lies with you. Try believing her...
"daughter of one year" ... When you two are not mentally compliant with each other, it was not wise on your part to start your family.
Instead of understanding her and making room for her to understand. Your daughter should not be a result of just sex with your wife. It should have been a result of your mental acceptance of the family. (you and your wife).
If the problem of not understanding lies with you. Then any number of marriages won't help you and all of them will look with "poor mentality".
problem lies with you and not with others... sorry if this had hurt you....buts it seems the truth...
2006-12-30 03:34:12 · answer #5 · answered by RASUNA 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It takes time to learn to live together and adjust. It's just natural that thew wife initially does not have same attachment to your family and parents, as she has towards her family and parents and you. Love begets love. Forcing her will only make her revolt and feel stressed and pressurized. It will not help. The only way to get her adjusted is ask your family members to cooperate with her, make sure that you refer to how she was praised for something by your family and how much they like her, praise her yourself for being so helpful and considerate towards your family, be considerate, patient and helpful to her famiy to inspire her to do the same and seriously tell her that you love her and she has a special place in your life. Yet she want her to be a part of your family too because you love them too. Do not try to contradict her or try to cut off her complaints about your family. Listen to them patiently and then tell her, despite all this you will really like her to try to help them out and win them over. Constant but subtle suggestions go a long way than forcing her to do it outright. Best of Luck!
2006-12-30 04:25:43 · answer #6 · answered by Smriti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know what is the matter. Try to understand her, explain your family situation. You are the only person for her to tell anything. Try to know what is happening when you are away. If the problem increases, explain the situation to your family and if they are not able to adjust with her, you have no other go except live separately.
2007-01-02 01:16:10 · answer #7 · answered by R S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi raj.well i am an indian,and what i believe is you people need to sit,talk.
come over to your parents place,or call them ,sort out the problems.talk to them where the problem is coming
on the other hand do assure ur wife that you are beside her ,but at the same time ,ur parents also need you two
and raj,dont worry,problems are very small
be it be your or mine
its only us may make it big
talk with a calm mind, with the approach that things ARE definitly going to fall in place for your family
2006-12-30 03:08:06 · answer #8 · answered by abc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Raj, Forget the freaky deeky American guys crappy redneck answer. Those people know nothing about other culture and give rest of the Americans a bad name. BTW about your problem, well it is not easy for a woman to adjust to the in-laws in any continent. Go easy on her and do not force her to sek help from your parents and family. She should be comfortable with whom she can talk about her personal stuff. Good luck.
2006-12-30 02:41:40 · answer #9 · answered by nice guy 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes health issues are alright to be shared with you but sometimes are too personal to share with other family members. There are many women that are like that..
2006-12-30 02:36:42 · answer #10 · answered by giveu2tictacs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋