Is it possible to realize only at a pretty late age that you have not tried hard enough ?

Question

There are some very extraordinary personal/physical facts
that were bound to coin my (everyone´s )behaviour and
personality but then you realize at a very late age (42) that you
took the facts as excuses a lot of times and did not try hard
enough, which is why you think you don´t have really succeded
(in becoming yourself) , It hurts , hurts , hurts,
What do you do ?
Your surrounding probably did want to help at times but
was at a loss what to do .and ended up
hurting you and could not provide the help which one
would have needed to help yourself.
I need some ideas and serious answers how to find one´s
balance. I am on the brink of a nervous breakdwon.


Professionally and financilly - I need to start at zero.
Sorry for this outbreak of feelings , I just need some honest
ideas since I have been leading a most secluded life, which
I want to change in the new year.

Answer 1

Stop beating yourself up. Stop pushing yourself. Some people stop and smell the roses a considerable bit more than the others. Maybe you've been one of these. If so, bless you. You don't have to run at full steam all the time! Life isn't always fair, but it's often quite beautiful. Stop, and appreciate the good things around you. (Get away from doom and gloom news stories, go outside for some fresh air or some star-gazing, or for a walk, or a bike ride. Spend some time with the people for whom you really care deeply.)
Okay, so you're not perfect (safe to assume?). So you think at times in the past you have not tried "hard enough." Did your actions or inactions cause any real harm (or, heck, any harm at all)? If not, don't worry about it. If something or someone was hurt, do what you can now to make up for the slight or the wrong.
Trying harder constantly, though, might just make you miserable. The degree to which we try doesn't always make us better or more successful. In fact, I became more successful when I quite trying so hard. People enjoy you more when you "lighten up." If you are now wishing that you had done things differently, just realize that "the past is prologue." Maybe it was just your school of hard knocks. See it as a resource and learn from it.
You say you feel you need to start over professionally and financially. Sometimes (when practicable and practical) doing so can be a very good thing. A move or a fresh start may just do you good. If you feel a new start would be better than just making some much needed changes right where you are at, then do so, but don't just totally walk away from your past. Keep the good from it and focus on doing what you regard as the best and the right things in your future. Take stock, realise you are a good person who has made good contributions and accomplishments in life. But also realise that life is a gift. Live it, love it, appreciate it.
I've just answered two or three such questions as this one. Look those over. Therein I've read some really good responses. Don't obsess with the hurt; instead focus on fixing it and let go of the past. (It won't do you good to hold onto hurtful things). Good luck with your future.

Answer 2

Don't use the age as an excuse, if u want it, and try really hard, MAYBE u can succed, but at least u tried.
if u keep using the age as a negative factor then u r not ready to live ur life

Answer 3

Read the above post from The Invisible Man again.

Answer 4

That happens to all of us at many ages. Contemplating life and your place in the world is a good place to be.