I NEED HELP WiTH ABUSE!!!! HELP ME PLEASE!!!?

Question

My brother starts arguements and my mother fights for him and never lets me speak. She constantly tells him she loves him and she calls me a *****. She calls me selfish and spoiled. I never ask her for anything. I buy her expensive gifts and she never says thank you, or if she likes it. She hasn't hugged me or told me she loved me in so long I can't remember when the last time was. The only time she ever talks to me is to tell me to do something or to yell at me. I'm the only one out of her two children, and I try so hard to make her love me, but she still doesn't even respect me. She constantly accsues me of lying and doesn't believe a single thing I say. She even favors the cats over me. I'm sure most of you will think that I am exaggerating, but I can assure you that I'm not. I'm so afriad of talking to her, I don't want another fight, I don't want to hear her say those things to me. No one else in the house defends me either. All I ever hear her say is that I'm a total mistake and that she wishes that I never was born, why does she hate me so much, and what can I do for her to love me!? My dad isn't even alive, so I can't talk to him!! But that also means that I can't just ignore my mother!! And I have no realitives, I have asked this before, but I need an answer really bad, I have tried telling, and tried getting help, what are the other options?

Answer 1

First, remember that it is not you, it's her. You were sent here for a reason, and there are plenty of people who, I'm sure, do love you and care about you.
If you have tried all of that stuff to make her love you already, and nothing has changed, then nothing you do will make her change. You need to just get some kind of help!!! If you are still in school, go see your guidance counselor. My sister (whom my parents adopted) was going through somewhat of the same thing before she came to live with us. She lived across the street from us and her mom was drinking and neglecting her. She finally got sick of it when her mom took her into a strip mall (I think) and gave her some money telling her to go buy some shoes while she went into the bar and got drunk (again!). She used that money to use a pay phone to call the cops, and was put up for adoption (she had previously been in and out of foster homes all her life). It ended up good because she got to come and live with us. But this is something you are going to need to think about if you are wanting to call the cops or report abuse... I would reccommend having someone lined up that you can go live with (a friend who you trust) before you go talk to anyone because it's better if you know the people who are adopting you or becoming your legal guardians. When my parents first decided they would become her legal guardians, she was only allowed to spend the weekends with us, and CPS (child protetion services) were doing random inspections of our house where they would come in unannounced and observe the way our house was and the way we lived. Then, after about 5 or 6 months, she was able to come and live with us for good. So be prepared for it to take a while, too. I would highly recommend talking to your guidance counselor if you are still in school as I said before. But if you aren't in school, there are plenty of confidential and anonymous hotlines you can call to get advice.
Try this one I found on the internet:
- Adult/Child Abuse Hotline:
1(800)352-6513
It says it's a confidential hotline to report abuse or suspected abuse.
Good Luck, I hope everything works out for you!!!

Answer 2

This is very painful for you to deal with but you know it will make you strong.
You won't think so now but one day you will look back and see how it strenghtened you.
Suffering is like a college professor it teaches empathy which cannot be learnt from a book.
You have done nothing wrong and you deserve to be loved,you did not ask to be born but God imputed life to you so focus on becoming the best you ,that you can be as unto Him.
Each day is a new beginning look at the things you have in your life which make you happy and if you look hard enough you will find them.
Start a journal for yourself and at the end of each day enter the things which made your day worth while.
One day when you are older you will understand your mum and certain things will become clear to you.
Be forgiving and never let bitterness take a hold of you.
You will come through this I promise.
I have been there!
John 3:16.
Take care!

Answer 3

I think it might help you to try having someone mediate a conversation between you and your mother. The feelings you have are valid, yet they would probably be very hard for you to communicate to your mom without setting up an argument-partly because she will probably feel defensive and may also have her own "side" to things that she wants you to hear. I know it's hard, but finding a way to really listen to her, as well as to tell her what you are going through without blaming her for all of it, is probably the fastest way to a solution.

There are many people who can help you have this kind of conversation-their job is to "mediate", or to make sure that the conversation has some ground rules, it feels safe for everyone concerned, and it is solution oriented. A good counselor/mediator will help you tell how you feel without being interrupted, and will help your mom listen to the meaning behind your words. The same will happen the other way as well.

Ultimately, the solutions are yours and your mother's, though a counselor can help you find them with less hurt.

You can probably find free counseling by calling a crisis hotline, a teen agency, or talking to your school counselor.

I really hope you are able to find some help...it's sad that you are going through this. Please keep trying, you are on the right track!

Answer 4

how old are u? the way u are being treated is wrong. i do agree. i know u are hungering for ur mothers love and attention but it sounds like u are trying to buy her love and that still isnt working. i dont know what her deal is and why she treats u like that. i guess all u can do is try to talk to her and make it clear that u are hurting and no matter what u still love her. tell her u give up. ur tired of feeling like u have to walk on egg shells and buy her things just for approval u still dont get. i know its hard and i know it most likely will turn into a argue match but at least u made ur feeling known where she cant say she never knew u felt that way. all in all.... when u do talk with her u be the better person. dont yell at her, dont call her names. u stay rational and calm no matter what. she will end up leaving the conversation feeling stupid cause she knows inside she was nasty. I pray the best for u dear. if u need anything u email me at [e-mail] God Bless

Answer 5

I can relate to how u feel. why dont u try talking to ur guidence conselour at school maybe she can help? u need to try talking to ur mom she obviously doesnt know how u are taking it. i mean u anret a mistake and u know that so please dont blame urself because she hates u. these days i dont understand how mothers can hate their own children and say it to their faces! but why dont u try talking to ur mom maybe she is just sayin it and acting tough on the outside maybe she is really soft and something is going on. do u remember when ur dad died before was she like thies? or was it after? because many times when wives lose their husbands they feel that all the pressure is on them and they dont want to do it alone os they take it out on other people. and yes many cultrues ive seen and heard of love boys more than girls. however my mom is different she prefers girls more than guys because she says that i help her with things that sons would never do and im easy to talk to . so i know one day ur mom will realize what a great daughter u are but just make sure she doesnt realize too late. becuase later on ur brother will get married and have chilkdren of his own and most likely leave ur mom so there isnt a point of her loving him so much over u because girls are just liek that they are more senseitve arnd mroe caring too bad ur mom doesnt understand that fact....well good luck! and ur being verbally abused so u need to ttell someone., if u think ur life is in harms way ok?

Answer 6

The only thing I can suggest is calling your local DHR or DCFS and telling them that you are being emotionally abused and are scared to be around your mom...However, be prepared for the fact that you may end up living with another family you do not know!!!!! or you can go to your local police station and tell them the same! They will help you~!


I was in foster care from 7-11 and they were all wonderful experiences! I was never abused in any way!

Answer 7

It would be easier to help you with suggestions if I knew your age. There is a big difference in what to tell a teen that has no real options vs a person of age that can work and leave the house. If you are a teen, please call a teen hot line and get advice as to who you can get help from. If you are of legal age, get out. You don't need to be abused in this way. I really don't see why you need to be nice to a mother that definately is not nice to you.

Answer 8

Call CPS and tell them what's going on. They probably won't do anything since your mom isn't hitting you. It sounds to me like she's just yelling at you and verbally abusing you. CPS will only remove you if she hits you. But try that or go live with a friend except than you'll be reported as a runaway. Or get a job and just save up money to get out as soon as you hit eighteen.

Answer 9

There is no solution to that unless you want to just move out. Contact CPS and tell them if it's really that bad. Depending on how old you are, you can request emancipation or once authorities are involved seek other ways to remove yourself from the home. And once out, I wouldn't ever make contact with the witch again, EVER.

Answer 10

Hey i used to be in the same pickle like 6 months ago... the best things for me was allways saying hello...even if she doesnt say it back, keep being nice and polite to her...it may take a while...but eventually you will be able to at least talk to her and tell her how u feel...Hope i've helped you!