When I was about 16, I used to have depression issues, and so I learned how to block all bad emotions from occuring in my brain. However, now, at 18 and after coming out as bisexual, this is having an adverse effect on me; I'm unable to fully bring out my true personality because I am so nervous about acting it in public and my brain chooses to block the nervousness rather than learn to overcome it. I am a guy and extremely girly; i keep trying different things like wearing clothes that fit my personality better (tighter clothes, more stylish, etc.) and I have been making progress, but I can't seem to fully bring out my inner self, and I don't think I'll fully be able to be happy until I am comfortable with myself and/or able to act my true personality without nervousness about repercussions. It really doesn't help that I live in one of the most gay-hating districts in America. Any suggestions? I'd appreciate any advice, but please no insult responses.
2006-12-29 17:45:02 · 9 answers · asked by guitarherofairy 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Becoming more comfortable expressing your true self can be a life-long process of experimentation & self-discovery balanced by percieved social impacts vs. personal satisfaction.
So take your time, you are still young & might consider taking some of the pressure off yourself to perform to a self-imposed standard.
Oh yeah, and MOVE!
2006-12-29 18:54:01 · answer #1 · answered by taowhore 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'd start by listening to plenty of Mary J Blige, smiling sunnily at anyone who looks like they might be a bit difficult or sour, and above all, relax. I know that's really easy to say, "Relax," but seriously that's the key. You say you "learned how to block all bad emotions," and this is just another thing you have to teach your brain to do. All it takes is practice. Here's an easy exercise: try taking your girl (the one who is looking for a girlfriend) to a coffeeshop or something and talk about your favorite TV show or who you both hate in the latest In Touch. Do this for several weeks with as many friends as possible (it must be in public) and eventually you will be able to do it with strangers. Muskogee is hardly gay-friendly, but if I come across a homophobe, I just say "f*ck em" and move on. You probably won't see them again in your whole life anyway. Once again, college will solve this problem within 2 or 3 months. I do know of a certain herb that could fast-forward things on the relaxation front, but I can't recommend it by name for legal reasons. Ask Hugh Downs.
2006-12-29 22:49:21 · answer #2 · answered by OkiefromMuskogee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good for you mate! i'm glad you are learning to express yourself. my advice; wear what you want do what you want! if depression is your problem then do what makes you happy! i had the same problem and what i figured out ar these 3 things
- give to those less fortunate
- live life to the fullest
- always be helpful
how you dress, feel, act is entirely up to you. as long as the people around you like you for who you are, nothing else really matters! i hope you relize most of the small town haters out there just hate because they've never really been exposed. they have prejudice filled parents. it's the same as how racist parents can have racist offspring. well... sorry if i went off on a tangent there dear... but i hope you have a fantastic time finding yourself and i send you best wishes and a big hello to the new you!
<3<3<3
2006-12-29 18:42:58 · answer #3 · answered by mads 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, living in a homophobic area I suppose will always make you a little nervous about others...
I think the best thing to do is to find other people who support you, whether they are gay or straight, male or female. If you know that you have friends that don't judge you and like you for who you are, it is easier to deal with people who don't like you. This is true for anything, not just homosexuality!
2006-12-29 17:52:36 · answer #4 · answered by Yuka 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're confusing the issue: "to do" and "to be" are two different things.
Be who you are just now. It will always change; as the past grows longer and you continue to refine your definition of self.
There is nothing to do.
2006-12-29 23:05:22 · answer #5 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you're familiar with Queer as Folk but Emmet's motto from the series is "F uck 'em all!". There's my recommedation, f uck 'em all, you should give a sh!t about what the breeders think of you! Act whatever way you feel like and don't let others bring you down, think for yourself, not fot the others.
2006-12-29 17:51:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
it would really help you if you meet other gays or lesbians. you really need support from friends who share the same values. when i was living in a small town in oregon, i was so closeted. then i moved to reno, and met other gays and lesbians, and have been myself since then.
2006-12-29 17:52:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
in a few days it's fixing to be 2007...stop living as if we are stuck in the 80's...be yourself...why should you care what others think.
2006-12-29 17:53:17 · answer #8 · answered by me_being_me 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you don't want the negative attention don't dress so gay in a gay hating district.
Move to San Fransisco.
2006-12-29 17:49:55 · answer #9 · answered by Andrew K 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋