How to stop being angry?

Question

I lost my son 2 days before christmas 2004. By now I should be like most people say 'get of it'. How can I stop being so angry and get to the next stage of grieving?

Answer 1

I know you have probably heard this before, but counseling. And some people find comfort in prayer. A counselor or priest can help you see things that you can't see yourself about the grieving process. You need to vent that anger & talk to someone about the pain you feel. I am so truly sorry for your loss.

Answer 2

Lady, I felt a lot like you at your age. This bit of advice won't make sense to you until you're older, but I'm certain it's true. Compared with most people in the world you and I aren't that badly off. We haven't been to war, we live in a country where our health problems are treated for free. I've only ever had moderate bad luck, nothing tragic like a fatal car crash or family being murdered. How about you? As soon as you're in a position to do it, take a trip to a poor country, even for a week. I was 27 when I took my first walk through the slums of a large Asian city in which I'd arrived the previous evening. It was just after dawn, and I got up early because of jet lag. Seeing really poor people made a big, permanent change to my outlook on life. You watch the news and know as much as I do about what a hell hole the world is, but when you go there and smell it, suddenly it becomes real. And your friends all have their own problems, even if they don't tell you. Keep going and study hard. Oh yeah, and don't be too self-sacrificing, it will just make you bitter. Indulge yourself and be a little bit selfish occasionally. I gave up trying to be a Mother Theresa a long time ago. I'm just an average sinner who tries to help others sometimes. Maybe you are too.

Answer 3

every one does their loss therapy in a different way and in a different time sequence. You are maybe not ready to give it up. The speed with which some can walk away and deal with things is different for others The fact that you are asking about it probably already started the process because self awareness and the knowledge that you honestly want to change on this situation is a strong beginning You most likely know that your son would want you to be remembering some of the good times around him and he most likely would have done something that always pleased you. Try focusing on that event or quirk or habit and give his memory a positive spin for awhile with the full knowledge that you are doing it to be working at getting better at not being angry. good luck and best wishes for a year in which you achieve your goals in this and other things in your life. Bless you in your search for relief.

Answer 4

I am so sorry about your son- please accept my deepest condolences. I lost my mom and my older sister four months ago, 15 days apart. You will NEVER "get over" this loss. It takes people different amounts of time to move through the stages of grief- no set timetable or schedule. It's also much harder to deal with the loss of a loved one around Holidays, birthdays, etc. ( I can attest to this). If you personally feel that you are ready to move onto the next step, maybe joining a grief support group or talking to your minister would help? I will keep you in my prayers.

Answer 5

You can't and there is no harm in crying. Praying will help. God gives us pleasures and pain, and gives family members and takes them away as per His wishes. we are only puppets in the hands of destiny and we have no control over such circumstances.

Any thing on which we do not have control over....we should not hold ourselves responsible; the only thing we can do is just pray. We came empty handed in this world and so shall we go from this world!! All the things that we get in this world remain with us so long as we are alive.....the day we leave this world everything is snatched away or we leave them behind.

(....And how long are we going to live.....80, 90 or say 100 years. this time span is just a tiny dot in the whole spectrum of time since this world started.)

Answer 6

I am sorry for the loss you experienced. Grieving takes time...no one has the right to tell you when it is time to move on. However, have you sought out help in dealing with your loss? Sometimes, we need an objective outside person to help us when we are in rough spots. There s no shame in that. If you are angry then I wouldsuggest that you seek out someone to talk to. Good luck.

Answer 7

IT is dificult when you lose someone you were really close to somtimes it takes years to recover .But dont lose heart .It happens to anyone .You are not the only one who has lost a loved one ther eare plenty of others and they survive so will you.Look out of your grief and try to help somebody who has gone through the same as you . maybe you could help them monetarily.Try to do something new that you have been putting off .TRY TO OCCUPY Your self ALL THE TIME THE GRIEF WILL PASS ON.
If all else fails you could try counselling

Answer 8

Anger is part of grieving, it is one of the stages of grief. You just need to face your feelings and not hide from them. I went to a grief and loss group at our local hospice center and it really helped me. I am so sorry about your son.

Answer 9

I normally, I don't have an answer, I have lost a great deal of friend in my life, and every time that happens, I cry, I remember them, but I never feel anger, I just let their memories, shine on within me, which brings me happiness fro the times we share while they had the mortal existence. Happiness takes lots of courage.

Answer 10

need a good psychological counsellor. Ask your doc to recommend one.