A friend of my husbands is geting married tomorrow and so i was talking to my husband about the plans, all I knew so far was that he was picking up his friend nick. He said that it was going to be a good day and that "we" were going to have fun. I told him that I hoped my cold would clear up so I would feel up to it and that's when he say " Oh were you going to go with me? When he said We are going to have a good time he was talking about him and his friend. I assumed that seeing as how I'm his wife he would be taking me. I told him that was messed up and he said sorry I didn't mean to offend you but I'd love for you to go. I told him it offended me greatly and he was on his own and hung up. He's been at work and I haven't heard from him since. Should I go or stick to my guns and saty home giving him the opportunity to tell everyone who asked where i was that I was being a wench and stayed home?
2006-12-29 17:29:21 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
While he may have thought that you would not accompany him to this wedding - for whatever reason - his error came in not discussing this with you when he received the invitation. As his wife, you are the encumbent 'other' or 'guest' on such things. For him to have assumed without clarifying seems to be an extreme lack of civility and respect.
It's up to you whether or not to leave him hanging (at work). Definitely initiate a discussion later about how this made you feel and why, in the context of a marriage, this is not acceptable to you. For sure - the two of you need to settle how future invites and similar things need to be handled.
2006-12-29 17:37:46 · answer #1 · answered by Lucy_Fur 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can certainly understand why you were offended. I would be too. It would be different if this was a bachelor's party not intended for any wives, but since it is a wedding, couples usually go.
I gather that he was so caught up in having fun with the guys that he completely and utterly forgot about bringing the wife. Sometimes when people are married for awhile, husbands tend to look at wives as a party pooper (the nagger).
I'm baffled as to why he thought that you didn't want to go, but I would clarify the issue with him when he gets home. There may have been some misunderstanding. He did apologize and want you to go, so I would go with him to the wedding if I were you.
2006-12-30 01:34:44 · answer #2 · answered by Ana 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people can be so mean with their answers, can't they?
How long have you two been married? Not that it matters but I've been going through this with my husband for years. He never told me about invites to his family's functions. One time there was a transportation conflict (when we shared 1 car), and when I offered to call his cousin to make other arrangements for him, he hit the roof! It became one of our ugliest arguments. Came to find out that over the years he had been telling his family that I had other things to do, as if I declined all their invitations! And I had never been informed/invited to anything. He would always say, "I'M going here, I'M going there," never "WE were invited to go here."
I don't want to be an instigator here, but I have a problem with him not thinking of you FIRST. But where was the invitation? Did you see it? It should have been addressed to Mr & Mrs PERIOD. Not to Mr and Guest.
I can also tell you right now, you hanging up on him, getting angry at him -- your emotions have no affect on him whatsoever. Hopefully by the time you read these answers, you will have already gone to the wedding (with or without him), made up with your husband and enjoyed yourself.
2006-12-30 01:51:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just stick to your guns. If your husband tells people that you are behaving like a wench he'd be a bigger nerd than he has already proved himself to be when he missed the fact that you Two became One in marriage.
2006-12-30 02:00:23 · answer #4 · answered by Papillon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey forget the wedding he should have married nick as sounds like you are not close with your husband getting married is about becoming a family you could apply this to other things and you wontsee each other tell him your going on a holiday to a resort and see his reaction
2006-12-30 03:19:08 · answer #5 · answered by ariesfunram 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know marriage is about compromise so i should say that you should call him! but I am going to say stick to your guns. Sometimes you have demand respect in which he didn't do! a wedding is something that you would want to bring your significant other too! and for him not to think enough to let you know was self centered on his end! I hope you can work it out!
2006-12-30 01:34:42 · answer #6 · answered by from_me_to_you 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time when you invite someone to a wedding you also invite their spouse. Saying that, maybe your husband is just a social idiot? I don't know. I would ask him if he knew... If he knew and he shut you out, then I would be real pissed.
2006-12-30 01:57:09 · answer #7 · answered by Karen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends if you were invited to the wedding or if just your husband was invited. Also how well do you know the people who are getting married? If you know them well then you should go too. If you do not know them very well and they are just your husbands friends you shouldnt worry about going, just stay home
2006-12-30 01:33:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think you should go! See how he react. It sounds like he is going to have more than fun. He he acts strange, then you know something is up. Go, Girl!!
2006-12-30 02:48:55 · answer #9 · answered by Mesha 3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a wench
2006-12-30 02:53:43 · answer #10 · answered by ckgene 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋