Transgendered?

Question

I'm transgendered (ftm, but still in the "f" part). I have the anatomy of a female, yet the mentallity of a male (wanting a male phsyique, being strong, etc, not generalizing) I want to be a guy. I am in a relationship with a woman. Now, since I am psychologically male and physically female, am I bisexual, straight, or a lesbian? According to society I'm a lesbian since I'm woman intercoursing with a woman. But for realistic purposes, what is my orientation? Though as an anatomical female, the penis is repulsive, though I wish I had one. My wife (who is female and femme with no intention of being a trans) is intrigued by the idea as well, though she is repulsed by the penis, but the thought of me having one is a turn on for her. And she does enjoy my feminine parts. Also my "strong yet sensitive" masculinity.

So...What are the orientations of my wife and myself?

Answer 1

You are definitely straight, since you have a firm male identity and your partner (and those you are attracted to, I assume), are female. The rest of the world might look at you and say you are lesbian, but that's just not the case.

Your wife is a little more difficult to pin down, as is always the case when lesbian partners choose to transition. Some leave their partners, because they are indeed lesbians and aren't attracted to males; others stay and have to wonder at their orientation. I might call her bisexual because she is still attracted to you and the thought of you post-transition, but since she has no real attraction to biological men or biological penises, then she is either one of two orientations: a woman who loves women but also loves transmen (our society doesn't yet have words to describe attraction to genderqueer folk), or merely a lesbian who is in love with you, and hence attracted to you (love being gender-blind, of course). Either way, if she's happy and not questioning it, I wouldn't either.

Hope that's helped! You should definitely check out some books if you haven't already- I just finished Max Wolf Valerio's great book "The Testosterone Files: My Societal and Hormonal Transition From Female to Male". He talks quite a bit about orientations and all that. Good luck!

Answer 2

I'm not an expert on transgenders...but I would have to say that until you have a non-removable penis you and your wife are lesbians...although it sounds as if your wife may be bi-sexual...but I could be wrong

Answer 3

I think there's some relationships that aren't able to easily be labeled. I'm kinda a lesbian transwoman bordering on queer genderqueer. I've learned to just ignore labels and live however I choose.

Answer 4

Straight.

However, if you prefer (for now) you can also claim gay.

My view is that YOU are what gender you identify with. Since you say you are male, that means your male. Sadly, some of the rest of society is not so open to the idea.

Answer 5

well for starters your still a women, being a TS m2f such as myself i am still a preop TS like yourself, and i still have my stuff down south and am still male, i dont want to recognize it but i cant deny science, technically you are lesbian, until you get your internal sex organs removed and other bodily functions which portray you as female then your sexual orientation will always be female, as for me i didn't want to hear id be gay till i got SRS but its the cold hard truth, The "real truth" about our secondary sexual orientation is that we are both strait, you like women because you see yourself as a man, and i see myself as female, so in our heads we are strait, but until we both get SRS we both will be gay or lesbian.

Answer 6

dont worry about labeling your self but if you identify as a man then you and your wife are straight even though you have female anatomy. (i think)

Answer 7

your a lesbian your still a chick and your wife is a pansexual research it it will exsplain alot.